Life updates

Talk about a terrible week. Last week was plain awful in terms of well everything.

Monday, my mom's car broke down. Tuesday the temp showed up late for work and we got nasty phone calls from our boss about no one answering the phone. Wednesday my car broke down on the way to work...actually at the stop sign at work and had to be pushed into the lot. Security would not help push it the good for nothings. Thursday I hitched a ride and my aunt helped get the car fixed to get it home. Thursday night, the car was less than 1/2 mile from my house and the damn thing stalled and would not start again. Never mind during the week, my furnace has been acting up on and off. The stupid heat would turn off out of the blue. Friday we got walloped with some 12 inches of snow.

The car incident was terrible; especially seeing how Superdaddy blamed the operator (me) for reckless driving and such. Turned out the damn clamp that was fixed 2 months ago broke on the fuel line. Had nothing to do with reckless driving.

Get this...Saturday the furnace went out again. Turns out the "trap door" was not pushing the safety switch igniter down enough. He finally figured it out. I suggested taping it down until he could figure out how to replace the switch. Oh no!! Terrible idea...tape will ignite. 20 minutes later...do I know where duct tape is? Asshole. Oh yeah on the other foot, "I" meaning me have not been closing the trap door properly or else we wouldn't have this problem. When I fix the damn thing it works for 2-3 days and than goes out. When he fixes it, it works maybe for 2 hours.

Husband for sale!! Any takers?!?!?!?

Guess we have the step kids from 12/19 through 12/24 am and then 12/25 through 1/1. We were happily informed mom is getting married. Her boyfriend is staying with them now. She just moved into this home. She wants a winter wedding, he wants a spring wedding. Seems to me someone is in a hurry to get married to have someone take care of her. I just hope this one is enough to make her happy and leave us the hell alone. She needs to get a life of her own and leave mine alone!!

Happy holidays to you and your family. Be safe everyone and enjoy!!

Stolen from Beth

I stole this from Beth.

*i am annoyed by the temp I am training for my medical leave (she is very lazy and quite frankly not good at working).
*i want PIA to get a life and quit trying to make our lives miserable.
*i have to get ready for the baby to come. About 4 weeks left. Where has the time gone? Oh yeah, have to get ready for Christmas as well.
*i miss having adult conversations during the week except on the phone.
*i fear dying alone and leaving my children without their mother.
*i hear we will have the step children their whole break except for Christmas-eve. How convenient. Will see what happens at court December 30th.
*i search my soul for purpose at least twice a year.
*i wonder where my life would be now if I had birthed that baby at the age of 16.
*i regret a few things that obviously shaped me into who I am today.
*i love my family and life in general.
*i forgive when I need to. Just forgetting is that hard part.
*i ache to have my husband and my family whole during the week.
*i always tell my family everyday just how much I love them.
*i try to be patient and fair. Sometimes I am not very patient.
*i seem to have been dealing with PIA pretty well lately with all of her games.
*i know misery love company and I don't think I will join them.
*i feel I am in a very good place in life today. Ask me again tomorrow, it may change.
*i dance when no one is watching me.
*i dream of the future and the past quite a bit.
*i give with my whole heart whenever I get a chance.
*i listen most of the time open-minded.
*i sing when the radio is louder than my voice haha!
*i laugh at myself mostly, laughter is the best medicine.
*i can't stand people who use other people and their feelings as a doormat.
*i write when I need to get out some feelings.
*i cry mostly in the shower.
*i sleep wherever the sandman visits me at.
*i am at work and ready to have a longgggg vacation (maternity leave possibly?)
*i see snow coming to our area real soon. Could be a snow day tomorrow?
*i need a good back rub and about a weeks worth of sleep.
*i should really go get me some lunch and feed this baby already.

I tag all of you who have not done this already!!

tagged

Okay so I seen this on someone elses blog and thought I would do it too. Your supposed to copy the list and the highlight the ones you have done. I think I managed 43 out of 99, I better start living life on the wilder side.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang/played a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (from the shoreline)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (through work)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (still do)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (once too many times unfortunately)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar (I work for doctors)
72. Pieced a quilt (will be soon)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (a detroit red wing at work)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Made a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Any takers???

Status Quo

Things have been holding steady in our neck of the woods (thank God). Superdaddy is back to working for now and the PIA is well still a Pain In the A$$.

The kids came by last weekend. We were able to decorate the tree unlike last year. I took them to the dollar store and managed to spend $75.00 with only 2 of the kids. EKKK. This weekend will be my children shopping. Fun times but at least if PIA doesn't let the girls come back than they will at least have their gifts to give.

Things with Superdad's work are not looking to hot. Even with the big 3 bailout things are not looking good. He delivers for GM. His delivery plant is "shut down" usually the week of Christmas and New Years. This year, however, his deliver plant is shut down December 20 through January 25th. This means no paycheck; No unemployment; Child support still due. The baby is due January 19th so if things hold true, than he just might be home when the baby comes.

It is so hard to get used to him being gone again after being home for 2 and a half weeks in November. I can only imagine if he doesn't get out after December 20th how hard it will be when the baby comes and he has to go back to work.

Its been a while

Because Natalie tagged all of her readers.

Link to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write 6 random things about yourself.
Tag 6-ish people at the end of your post.
Let each person know he/she has been tagged.
Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

1. I used to play the clarinet in the school band. My son and now my daughter have both played it in school. I can still pick it up and mess up a song. I was never really good at it, but I played it the best I could.

2. Up until recently, I had a 'new' used car each year I was driving. Though they were never new, I had a newer one for about a year.

3. I married my high school sweetheart the second time around. My parents came between us when we dated in high school. After being apart some time, we somehow met up again and found out we were going through the same kind of things in life (marriage failing). We have been back together over 6 years.

4. One point in my life, I wished my ex husband would die. I never guessed he would over dose and die. Every day I look at Miss J I wish I never wanted him to die. I wish he was here to teach her things and have her get to know him. He was in prison all but 2 years of her life. He was a great friend, and great guy until he got hooked on drugs. Sorry I wished you would die.

5. Up until a few years ago, I loved my job. I work in health care and we are in the business of saving lives (not all of health care is). We are a small community in our "field". A few years ago, we got an "administration change". Seems it is more about money and numbers than patients themselves. The day we were told to push numbers no matter what, I decided my job was no longer my job, it was just a paycheck. I love my patients. I love being part of the "saving lives" aspect of our department. I hate the politics and the "money aspect".

6. I am very close to completing my associates degree in college for office administration. I quit going to school after i married Miss J's dad and got pregnant with Miss J. Today I have over $10,000 in student loans and no degree to show for it. I need to get a boot up my ass and get back to school.

If you haven't done the random things about yourself lately, consider yourself tagged!

Got some cheese?

I got the wine!!


So it has been a while since i posted. I have been in sort of a funk.

I am rather sad about the Gestational Diabetes diagnosis. Heck my finger tips hurt from all the poor poking they are getting. I missed out on stuffing and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving; but my numbers looked great. That is until this week. Like today my morning number was 99 (needs to be below 90) and my breakfast number was 123 (needs to be below 120). No one seems to understand just how sad and depressed I am about this and the fact that the holidays are here and I cannot indulge like everyone else. A simple cookie is out of reach!!!! And than to see my numbers makes all the sacrifices seem like it is all in vain. Will have to report to the dr tomorrow and see what they want to do. They said to give it a week and if the numbers are not there than insulin. Please dear Lord...no insulin.

Another thing i have been dealing with is the whole "this baby is a female". I so wanted a boy and so did superdaddy. I did my whole "secret stork" exchange and was fine buying for a little girl. Truth be told, I was disappointed in what I received as a gift. Probably due to the fact that I put so much thought into the gift I gave. There were 13 or so mammas that didn't get gifts. I had indicated that I would probably help out in cases such as these. Guess what!!!??? I am paired with a girl who is due the same day I am. She is having my little boy and I am having her little girl. Her birthday is the same as bubbas birthday. How in the world do I think going to a store to buy a gift for a little guy is going to pan out? I want the little boy stuff to be for my son not someone elses.

revelation!

According to myspace.....
PIA got a new home Im so happy moving is all done life for me is going ok !!!

This is our weekend. Guess who is not here??? Looks like it is back to playing games again. And she will pay the piper one day soon enough.

To think she accused us of taking away from her girls when we decided to have another baby. She is taking away from her own kids by playing her games. We were gonna go xmas shopping with the kids this weekend to have them buy for everyone on their lists. HAHA!!

paperwork

The paperwork arrived in mail. She is requesting "supervised visitation at a police station" outside our home due to her children coming home with headlice. Oh yeah and ring worm.

Back up to last week. The kids came to my home with lice!! I treated them. I picked their hair. She sent them to school. I waited and called the school and they were there. I don't know if the school sent them home or not.

Ring worm is something new.

Somewhere on the papers it says "he switches 'court ordered visitation' without court permission. She sends them when she wants to.

To think, this is his weekend. We will see if she sends them or not.

Life

Like sands through the hour glass...these are the days!

PIA is dragging him back to court. To modify custody.

How the hell is he supposed to pay child support if she keeps making it so he can't work? Last week he was off all week. His truck was in the shop. He is hunting. Coming home today or tomorrow. He should leave out Wednesday if his truck is fixed; and come home Friday some time. He will obviously not leave out Monday morning at 5am to work because he has to go to court with her at 1:30 pm. Than he would leave again Wednesday...that won't happen due to the holiday.

Basic breakdown...
Whole Check Friday 11/21
No check (truck in shop) 11/28
1/2 check 12/5
No check (court and holiday) 12/12

Oh yeah and she still needs child support. And we don't get gifts from church and toys 4 tots like she does. Looks like our tree will be pretty baron this year.

What the heck is she up to?

I'm a failure

I failed the 3 hour gtt test. Guess that means no more soda, candy, sweets, chips, carbs, fruit and what ever else for me.

I have been eating so much healthier this pregnancy than I did with the other 3. First one I gained about 60 lbs. Second one I gained bout 35. Third one I gained about 25. This one, 8 so far. I go back to the dr. November 24.

I am so disappointed. What exactly does a GD woman eat? Know what I am most disappointed by? I will never be able to be a kidney donor. Not a live donor anyways. For a deceased donor, they have to take my kidney with the understanding that it is high risk for failure. Plus I am at a higher risk for developing kidney failure. I am so bummed.

This will be a very quiet weekend. The guys are looking for bambi or bambi's mother this weekend up north. Hopefully, they will bring home enough meat to fill our freezer.

Family drama

Yesterday we received a frantic phone call. Superdaddy's father had gone missing. He is on psychiatric meds and this was not the first time in his history he has gone missing for a little bit. Last night, Superdad got a phone call from his dad to pick him up somewhere bout an hour from our home. Apparently, he was arrested and released and told to find a pay phone. Good thing Superdad's truck was broken down and he was able to get his father. He has no recollection of about 9 hours or so. He is missing many meds including his psych meds. He has no money, no gas, no meds and now has a court date in our state for "Operating while Intoxicated". Somehow his meds that he picked up Monday are missing. No bottle(s) to be found. His horse food is all over the bed of his truck, his lock box is gone and 4 flat tires.

More money out the rear end to get his truck from impound. Please dear let this be the end.

Remember it comes in 3's? My friends car was in accident, my car was hit while parked by Superdad's truck and again 4 days later by a school bus. My moms friends car was repoed and now dad's truck impounded...That leaves one more for the car being taken away. Oye!!

Joy of work

Superdaddy's truck died this morning.

We only have one vehicle right now. Took my car in to get the gas tank leak fixed and somehow, the brake line got punctured. Sigh. More money out the window. Drove my car all weekend with a Brick for a break pedal. Took it back to same shop.

Meanwhile, Superdaddy went to leave for work today. His truck wouldn't start. Looks like the engine is dying in the semi. Looks like it needs a major "overhaul". He will not be working at all this week. On the heals of the whole child support thing and the holiday's coming up really fast...THIS SUCKS!!

If the wheels don't move, the pennies don't add up to any size paycheck. Owner Operator told him he wasn't gonna be driving anywhere this week so the engine could get worked on. Good news is this, he can leave to go up hunting on Thursday instead of midnight on Friday.

Gonna be a long week.

Pet Lice

The ex sent the step kids over with pet lice in their hair again. I am so sick and tired of this shit. Now, a 30 week pregnant woman (me) is doing lice treatments with pestacides and spending an un-godly amount of time picking shit out of their hairs. Selfish Bitch.

Prop Eight

Though I do not live in Cali...I am disappointed prop 8 passed. I guess I figured with a African-American president and all people would look past the discrimination factor. One cannot help who they fall in love with and who they want to spend the rest of their life with. Even if the bible states: marriage is a union between a man and woman; I believe everyone should have the right to choose who they want to be with. I support choices. Today I am sad that choice was taken away from the hope of having a "sacred marriage" between two people who love each other very much.

I wish everyone just minded their own business and said: "I married who I chose to marry and I will let everyone do the same."

I hope that those who are already married in Cali are allowed to remain married and have their family as my family has been. They didn't object to my marriage, who are we to object to theirs. Sigh.

I hope my children recognize everyone has a right to love who they want to love and they don't discriminate against others whose choice may be different then the "norm."

Life updates

So i failed my 1 hour glucose test. Got to do another 3 hour test. Fun days I tell ya.

Mom got her heat turned back on for the stellar price tag of $497.54. for a $197.54 bill. They made her put down $300 security deposit. Give me a break. The economy is terrible. If she was having a hard time paying $200 bill what the heck made them think it would be an easy task to come up with a security deposit.

Tuesday my mom's friend's car got repoed and she is using my moms car. My other sitter, her car got a hood through the front end. Friday, my car was hit in front of my moms house (mom is using the car) by a school bus. Can I cry UNCLE!! yet?

The girls did come for Halloween. We had a great time. I took the girls out and let Bubba go with his friends from school. We went by my father's parents house. The girls got so much lute it wasn't funny. In fact, each girl got more than Bubba did. We walked about 1 1/2 miles all together. I think i need to go see my grand parents more often.

We still have not heard back from the court what they will do about child support. I cannot keep worrying about it.

Hope every one's week is going well. I think I am coming down with something. My friend from high school has some major issues going on. Usually I go out on Halloween with her and her boys. She was in the hospital and I didn't want to be around her drunk husband so I went to my grandparents house. Turns out, her husband was too drunk to take her boys trick or treating. I feel like I let them down. sigh.

How do you get rid of a psycho girl who will not leave your son alone? She is driving me batty!!

GO VOTE TODAY!

just friggin great

moms gas (ie: heat) was shut off today. I don't even want to know what next.

Coming in threes!

My Friday sitter called to tell me her car was in the shop. A hood flew off another car and damaged her front end. GREAT! My Monday thru Thursday sitter called to tell me her car got repoed over a $2000 bill she didn't know she had. I told her she could borrow my car that was parked by Superdaddy. Actually, my mom let her use her car and my mom took my car. Only problem...my car was smashed while parked on the street. Wasn't smashed yesterday morning but was smashed yesterday at 8:00 pm. Oye Ve' Things came in threes. Now it is time they leave.

Stars aligning

Things are happening in my life right now. Some major things. Some not so major. Just the beginning of the month I was stressed to the max. Things were not moving in the right direction. Though things still are not where I want them to be, they are going there slowly.

My dryer died. As in 3 towels and 1 pair of pants in 4 hours were still not dried. My washer will only hold a half a load to wash. Spending $30 at the laundry matt on Saturday was not fun. Neither was the 3 hours with 3 little girls. One whom I noticed was scratching her head a lot. Not mine though yet. Have to be on the look out for head friends again Uggg. No more friends spending the night for a while I think.

Having to pay all the back child support in 30 days or less is hurting. It makes for small grocery shopping bills and only necessities. No more buying school lunches.

Spending a large amount of money on a present and the very next week getting a $591.84 shut off notice on my electric bill.

Our church had backpacks for our low income preschool program at the church. My girls asked to get one. We ended up with 2 one for each girl. Somehow, we managed to get them filled with the proper stuff under $20 each! The lady who does the baptismal banners at church informed the pastor she was unable to do them anymore. She nominated me to do them. I do not have a sewing machine and have used my mother's for the things I have made. Looks like the church will let me use one of their sewing machines.

We got a letter from school last week. Someone put our family's name in to get winter coats and boots for the kids in the schools. Bubba, Miss J and Chicky will have new coats and boots.

Perhaps the stars are aligning for us for a little while. Things are looking up in His time frame not mine.

Recap!

Bubba completed his eagle scout project. Now has to deliver and fill out rest of paperwork and get it signed off. Very quiet weekend. No step kids. Imagine that. She will not let the courts dictate when he can see the kids. She will let him see her kids when she feels like letting him see the kids. Her birthday is Thursday. My guess is she will drop them off Friday so she can go to the bar for the weekend to spend her hard earned child support money.

I think this will be a fine weekend to make ourselves unavailable seeing how every other weekend from last weekend forward will make him free for opening gun season for hunting.

Dear ex-father in law passed away Monday. Not that i am part of the family or anything anymore, but my ex's best friend called me to let me know on Friday so I could take the kids and go pay our respects. DA's sister spent exactly 2 hours with Miss J out of the days she was here. Arriving Friday evening...staying until Monday morning. Lots of quality time. Would think the only thing she had left of her brother would mean more to her than 2 hours. O'well her loss.

Hope every ones weekend was a good one. Had to train the new girl at work this week. She will replace me when I take my baby leave. Too bad my job includes use of a computer and well, she doesn't have one yet or a phone. What is a secretary to do? Put the new girl to work cleaning out the supply closet I tell ya. Fun Fun!

ugg

PIA: Im almost there to a better life thank god...

This was posted as her header on her myspace. Glad she is almost to a better life. Wish she would leave my life alone.

Tangent

After doing some online research, it appears her child support will more than double since he is working a better job and she is not working at all. There is some retarted formula that they use and it goes something like this....


it takes said amount of money to raise a child and if parent A (custody parent) makes said amount of money, and parent B (Superdaddy) makes said amount of money, take this equation:

Raising money = (Parent B - Parent A) take difference subtract 77.9% (which is allowed because we have other children).

I don't get it, however the schedule they have on line shows (custody parent income) across the top and (non-custody parent income) along the side. Basically you find the income for each and equal it out (like multiplication table) and her child support will go from more than $600 a month to closer to $1250 a month because when the first order was made she was working and now she isn't.

I mean give me a break. It took 2 of them to make a baby, shouldn't it take 2 of them to financially support them children? Why shouldn't he have gotten a better job to better himself?

This economy sticks everywhere. They are punishing the parents who are trying to live above poverty level. What is wrong with this picture? She chooses to live the way she lives. She is fully capable of working and just doesn't. Her "job" is a Stay at home mother. They don't get paid much and quite frankly, I find it hard to believe love alone can make a house payment and pay the bills.

Ta Da...Outcome

Ya know, the beginning of the year, Superdaddy was 3900.00 in arrearages give or take some. Currently, he is 738.78 in arrearages. You do the math. She dragged him back to court. We don't have money coming out our noses or the other end if you know what i mean. Never mind she has not let the children come over since Labor day and that was only one child that came. She showed up in court today with her older two children. Shows class huh? She thinks her arrearages will be able to get them into a "purchasing a home" house. What the hell happened to the $3200 from previous payments?

Whatever. We have to come up with October payment and an additional $500 within 30 days or he goes to jail. Never mind it cost him half a paycheck to go to court today That right there could have been her $500.

Sonofa! I wouldnt be so darn bitter about it if she actually put forth an effort to raise them children. She has no job. Welfare and childsupport raise them children. I work so she can sit on her behind and take Superdaddy to court.

PIA

She is dragging him back to court. YEAH! Just more missed time from work. Just how in the hell do they think he can pay child support if he isn't at work? He will have to miss a half a week of work for one losey day of court.

Baby Thumper

We had our followup ultrasound yesterday. Thumper is a girl. There was no little turtle that we could see. Chicky will have to get used to a baby girl. She had her heart set on a little boy. Her and I both. After our first sonogram, i kind of warmed myself up to the idea of a girl. I had really no choice did I? It took a few weeks. Yesterday when she said well for sure I do not see a turtle I didn't cry like i did the first time.

Her baby finally came home Saturday and he is so cute. Tiny little pumpkin of their family. All of our prayers and good thoughts for their family sure had a positive outcome (thank God).

I wish fall weather would come and stay. Last weekend the kids were wearing shorts, today it is 45 degrees sheesh.

Remember beginning of September I told you about child services coming to the house? She has not called or let the kids come by since then. Not even looking for money. I think she might have gotten herself in trouble inadvertently by calling trying to get us in trouble. Hope she bit off more than her mouth could chew.

Anyways, does anyone know how to get rid of a creek in the muscle under a shoulder blade? Mine is killing me for almost a week now. HELP!

Life updates

Life has been status quo for the most part. School is back into full swing with Chicky starting on Monday. Have been trying to gather our "baby" things to go through it and see what we still need. Somehow I am unable to locate our infant car seat. I wonder what the heck I did with it. Things with the baby are coming along. I wished I looked more pregnant than fat. 3 people have commented that i don't look pregnant yet. I guess that is a good thing but still. We go for the repeat ultrasound on Tuesday. I am very excited to see Thumper again.

Since the whole child services thing, PIA has not let the kids come over. In fact she has not called Superdad at all. I wonder if they gave her a time to get her living conditions straightened up. Well beds for the kids anyways. Just an odd observation.

Hope everyone else is having a good day and good week. Have a blast this weekend.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a very tough day for me. Yesterday was 7 years since my father passed away. I didn't feel too much like talking.

Today the detective called regarding Bubba. The victim's family never brought her back in for re interviewing by the prosecutor. The prosecutor gave them plenty of time. Prosecutor got fed up with jerking around with them and DISMISSED the case!! DENIED THE WARRANT!

Thank you all for your good thought and good vibes. They were appreciated more than you could ever imagine.

Wanna hit the bar? I sure do to celebrate but Thumper protests :)

Post Secret

So I posted my number on Post Secret yesterday. I had some strangers share their secrets with me. I will share with you anonymously of course. It felt so good to let some of my secrets out believe it or not.

I love him with all of my heart but I worry about being married but still feeling like a single mom

When I signed the email "your weekend girlfriend" I said I was kidding but that's what I think I am.

I pretend to be scared that he's in the USAF but really I wish he'd marry me and move me far away.

I regret ever becoming a mother. I have 3 children and am expecting another soon.

I had an affair with a 30 year old married man when I was 16

I always wonder what the child inside of me felt when it died. It is 5 years later and I wonder what he/she would look like. I tell my mom I don't want kids. The reality is I don't want to loose one again.

He’s using her the same way he used me. I wish I had the courage to tell her what's going on and that he used the same lines on both of us plus others.

I feel greedy for having another child when there are so many others out in the world who want to have a child and cannot.

I have never had an orgasm.

I had an abortion at 16 and now can't look at my 7 yr old daughter without knowing she should have a 9 yr old sibling.

My husband scheduled an interview on the day we are supposed to have our ultrasound/sonogram appt. I am devistated. I secretly hope he does not get the job and he regrets missing our appt.

If I could I would move far away and never talk to my family again and I would make sure they could never find me.

I cheated on my husband. I'm scared to tell him because I don't regret it.

I still dream about my first love even though i'm happily married for 7 years and haven't seen him in 8 years. Than I feel guilty after each dream.

I once had an affair with a girl. I still think of her daily. My husband does not know this. He has my reality, she has my fantasy.

I don't want any more children but have seriously considered having another so I could see my OB more often! She rocks

Sometimes I think things will never get better for me.

She told me she was addicted to me, that she wants to be married. She made herself so vulnerable and as much as I want to protect her, shes going to get hurt.

These were the ones I received so far. Some are pretty deep revelations. Feel free to go to Frank's blog (Post Secret) and see some of the secrets that are revealed there. You will not be disappointed.
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=40031276&blogID=432528289

If you care to share a secret feel free to message me and I can provide my cell number. Your secret is safe with me.

Explanation

I will never say that the ex wife and I were friends or will be friends. I never did a darn thing to her. I have even given her food out of my home when she needed it. Above child support, we buy things for the girls when they need it. All she sees is that he left her and ended up with me. She claims she came first in his life and she should always come first 1998 or there abouts. Problem is this, I came into his life in 9th grade somewhere around 1990. I had a baby with him summer/fall of 1990. Problem with said baby was this...he was almost 18 I was only 16. My parents chose what happened to that baby. If it weren't for parent's interference, we probably would have been together longer. Our future was already written long before we even born.

From day one, she threatened me and tried to poison her girls against me. As her girls have gotten older, they; the older one especially; have seen through her smoke signal. She tries to tell them things that are not true and expect them to believe her instead of what they see with their own eyes.

She has always had a nicer house than I have. Not a problem by me. She has a nice newer car; I have a junker. Her kids go to a better school than mine. What is the problem here? I should have envy over her. I am content with my life. I am happy most of the time.

Misery loves company and I choose not to let her make me miserable. Just last month one of the girls was crying after hubs and I had words. She was crying because she was going to miss me. I was confused. Her mother told her that I was a home wrecker and if dad and I fought enough, we would split up and they could be together again. Somehow she has put it in the kids head that if we split up, hubs will have the house and her and the kids can stay there.

Children should not be used as pawns against one parent or the other. They should be loved and nurtured. They are not game pieces to be toyed with. She has had the children ask me about child support; tried to have friend of the court garnish my wages. Give me a break.

I love my children and my step children with my whole heart and would give my life for them. She loves her children in a different way. One that I am not a fan of. She loves them as long as there is something in it for her. She told the 9 year old that she would let her come live with us except dad wouldn't pay child support and she needs the child support for bills. What does a 9 year old need to know about child support? Precisely.

I guess to sum it up, I am living the type of life she dreams of living. The difference is this...I can support myself. I work and she doesn't. She gets to watch her children every single waking minute of every single day. I don't. I guess in a sense, she lives the life I wish I could live with my children, but then again I would be envious of others who had more in life too. The difference, I would not try to poison my children with lies and hatred in the process.

I am not angry at her per se' I am angry at her behavior. I mean someone who will be 40 next month needs to grow up and get a life!

Jealousy is ugly.

Many thanks

Prayers or good vibes did the trick. The kids get to stay. HAHA! The wench PIA called child (CPS) services on us and opened a case against us. They left a calling card on Wednesday. Unfortunately my coworker had Thursday, Friday and Monday off due to her kid having surgery. They came out this am. Investigated and left. They were going to talk to the children. Who knows if and when we will hear back from him.

I absolutely hate her more. They didn't tell us who called exactly, but things they said and accused were only her or her mother. Miss G dropped a brick on her toe on September 1. The guy asked about it. They asked about no food in the house, dirty living conditions, dirty clothes, baths. All were of course invalid. Hopefully they will go check her home out.

NEWSFLASH! The girls still have no beds at her house! What comes around goes around. Wonder if she shot herself in the foot by calling on our home. Now her home will be investigated as well (or so he told us).

I would never wish CPS on anyone. I haven't slept in 3 days. Dear Lord, I need a vacation!

Uggg

Just cannot catch a break. This sucks monkey ass. Stop and say a prayer for us. Will talk later.

Summer is over :(

Sure was nice to get out of the city for the holiday weekend. Next time, remind me to leave mother at home. She is going to cause me to have a stroke. I actually told her I was gonna leave her on I-75 if she didn't quit yelling at me about other drivers.

Today has been relatively quiet except for the ever so persistent mother hanging up the phone on me. My stress levels are through the roof. I actually think my blood pressure is up.

We told Miss G about the baby. She was so excited, telling everyone who would listen. Miss M didn't come camping. Apparently she was promised other things. Perhaps the second pair of gym shoes is what she was promised. Miss M got 2 brand spanking new pair of gym shoes. Miss G has Zero. Her PIA mother didn't think to get her a pair I guess.

Superdad confronted PIA about her moving yet again after we got home from camp. She tried to block my car in so Superdaddy couldn't leave. She was screaming and yelling to the point that Miss G didn't want to go anywhere with her mom. She wanting nothing to do with her and proceeded to tell Superdad that mom was acting a fool because she heard we were having another baby. Miss G got hysterical when he made her go with PIA after they went shopping to get gym shoes.

Than she demanded to know where Miss G's gym shoes were. She only asked for backpacks. The girls were scared to death they wouldn't have pencils for school. We provided them as well; and a few shirts. The wonderful mother they have been born to was less than appreciative of the book bags and such. She wanted shoes. Why did she get one 2 pairs and the other none?

How can parent's treat their children so different when they born them all? How can you possibly treat one like shit and one like a prince/princess? The reason the girls have both said is simply this: WELL MISS G LOOKS JUST LIKE DAD AND MISS M LOOKS JUST LIKE MOM. Tell me now, didn't she love Superdaddy at one time? What is wrong with her one child looking like him? Jealousy is UGLY!

Hellofa Weekend

Where to begin...

Saturday we had a birthday party to go to for my aunt's father. Superdaddy found a truck to look at on line so we drove an hour away to look at said truck. The truck was perfect. We bought it, was 2 miles from the guys home and the damn thing broke down. Had to get the guy and return it to him. Poor guy has a broken down truck now. Was late to the party but things were ok.

Had to go to graduation party immediately after. Was sort of fun. Didn't hardly know anyone and to be quite frank, I was tired. We didn't stay long.

Bubba asked if he could stay the night at aunt's house. They said it was ok. We let him stay. Got a call around 2:30 am. Had to go pick him up. Why? Him and another child decided to go get a Slurpee and got stopped by police. Busted curfew and got themselves a big ass $125 ticket. My aunt and uncle were pissed. The child is lucky he is alive today. Trust me on that one.

Sunday the kids went to church with my mom and I was gonna stay home and get some much needed sleep. Didn't happen. We went to get Superdaddy's glasses fixed...my car broke down. Much to be said, should have went to church.

Yesterday was ready to go back to work. End of day bout 4:00 my mom calls me to tell me my cousin's kid beaned Chicky in head with wooden baseball bat on accident. She had a golf ball size lump on her forehead. Irony...they were playing golf with tennis ball and baseball bat. Cousin's kid told my mom she walked into the bat. Yeah.

This weekend we are heading to the sticks for some much needed R&R. Hopefully the girls will come early so we can get a jump start on the drive.

My friend Sarah had a terrible weekend and my heart breaks for her. She lost her baby to a miscarriage. She is heart broken.

Camie, I am planning on looking through my baby stuff to see what I need to get. I appreciate your offer and maybe taking you up on it. I will let you know.

Hope everyone has a fabulous week and weekend.

Happenings

Ever told yourself no matter what you will be ok? Ever find out after, things are not really ok?

I never thought so much would bridge on one stupid sonogram. I almost wish I didn't ask. Things are going well with the pregnancy. Almost text book well. We went for the sonogram on Monday. Well we didn't; I did and my mom, grandma, Miss J and Chicky went. I asked about gender. They did the scan and determined I had to come back again after at least 3 weeks.

We have a healthy baby. It appears to have no external plumbing. I told myself either way as long as it was healthy. I am disappointed with myself and feeling kind of guilty. I am disappointed that our last baby will not be a junior. Shouldn't I be happy God has allowed me to be part of this miracle baby's life? Shouldn't I be happy I am able to have a baby who is healthy?

There are so many out there who cannot have babies and want them desperately. So many who would cut off their own leg or arm for a baby. So many who have angel babies who would give anything to have a baby on earth with them.

I have let the excitement of not knowing fade. I am disappointed in myself. Today I woke up excited for the first time since Monday. I am having a baby Girl. She is called Thumper still until further notice. I think today I am going to announce it to my co-workers. Next time the girls come over we are going to sell them.

Vaccines suck. Chicky had to have her shots updated. She had problems in 8/2005 with getting 2 of the almost same shots on the same day. She has had joint pains, headaches, bone pain and jumping legs since. In order for her to go to school I had to get her shots. I tried to waive them but our state health department does not think I have a valid reason to waive her shots. She had 3 shots last month with out any problem. No fever, nothing. She got the one she got 2 of yesterday as well as 2 others. One she never had, the other she got at the same time. Guess what?? High fever, headache, jumping legs. Last night got maybe 2 hours sleep. I hate vaccine's.

Life

We had a great time camping. The girls were awesome. Bubba well he was himself. Didn't see much of him actually. The balloons were a no show so that was a wee bit disappointing. It pored Saturday on us. Sunday was time to leave to go to a family reunion. While in the process of dismantling camp, a tent blew away. Guess who went chasing it and ended up "slip n slimming"? You guessed it was me. Fell square on my rear end in a big puddle of slimy mud. My only pair of pants and sweatshirt was full of mud. All in all, I knew I was doomed to fall so I made sure the fall happened on my extra cushion. We plan on telling the girls about Thumper Labor Day weekend that way PIA will still let them go camping.

Seems the girls have not been home in a while. I guess her mother is sick so they are staying there. The vacation that she supposedly took the girls on was a lie. They never went to the bridge for a week, nor did they go to Frankenmuth with papa on Superdaddy's birthday. They went to a carnival. Papa was driving, mom in front seat, and Nana, Sister A, Miss G, and Miss M were smashed in Nana's back seat. There was not enough belts for them to be buckled, so they didn't. Where are the cops when you need them. She still won't put Miss M in a booster seat as required by law.

Her baby seems to be holding his own today. He is one strong little guy that is for sure.

My fear

This about sums it up. Superdaddy got a GoldWing motor cycle. He is going for his road test this weekend if it doesn't rain. This scares me very much because in our area, people drive very aggressively. Bless all the bikers out there.


JUST A BIKER
I saw you; hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line.
But you didn't see me put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday.
I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk.
But you didn't see me playing Santa at the local Mall.
I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant when you saw my bike parked out front.
But you didn't see me attending a meeting to Raise more money for the hurricane relief.
I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I rode by.
But you didn't see me riding behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window. I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children.
But you didn't see me, when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless.
I saw you stare at my long hair.
But you didn't see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love.
I saw you roll your eyes at our Leather jackets and gloves.
But you didn't see me and my brothers donate our old ones to those that had none.
I saw you look in fright at my tattoos.
But you didn't see me cry as my children where born or have their name written over and in my heart.
I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere.
But you didn't see me going home to be with my family.
I saw you, complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be.
But you didn't see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.
I saw you yelling at your kids in the car.
But you didn't see me pat my child's hands knowing she was safe behind me.
I saw you reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road.
But you didn't see me squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn.
I saw you race down the road in the rain.
But you didn't see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.
I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time.
But you didn't see me trying to turn right.
I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in.
But you didn't see me leave the road.
I saw you, waiting impatiently for my friends to pass.
But you didn't see me. I wasn't there.
I saw you go home to your family.
But you didn't see me. Because I died that day you cut me off.

I was just a biker. A person with friends and a family. But you didn't see me.
I hope you never lose someone that rides.
EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE US, RESPECT OUR RIGHTS TO RIDE WHAT WE CHOOSE AND TAKE A FEW EXTRA SECONDS TO BE SURE WE ARE NOT IN 'YOUR' WAY

Ramblings

Her baby is pretty sick again. She is not coping very well and to be honest my heart is breaking. I wish there was something I could do to help her out. Please send her your warm thoughts as she and her family struggle with their boy being so far away and being so sick.

Yesterday was my 16 week dr. appointment. Things are going swimmingly. I seem to have gained 5.6 lbs in 4 weeks after loosing 2 lbs the 4 weeks prior to that. Total of 4.6 lbs I guess. I have my ultrasound on August 18. Hoping to find external plumbing on Thumper of course. If there is no plumbing we will be overjoyed as well. They had a real difficult time finding Thumper's heartbeat. They looked for almost 3 minutes and just when I was starting to panic, they found it.

We still have not heard from the detective about Bubba. Tomorrow is 4 weeks since he took the poly test. I wonder if we have to keep waiting. I am too scared to call the detective and inquire though. All i know is that i feel terrible Bubba is still grounded and has been since June 10. His whole summer is basically history. I have been looking into doing school of choice for him next year. The problem I am having is transportation to get him there.

I don't think I ever shared a picture of my new ride. Though it is used (and abused) it is still new to me.

insurance hell

Superdad has an appointment Saturday. They just called me to tell me he won't have health insurance after midnight tonight. I called our insurance carrier. Indeed everyone except Miss G and Miss M will have their insurance terminated at midnight tonight. Including myself! I am beyond distraught. Does this mean I am going to be out of a job? Who really knows at this point. Martha (boss) sent a crazy email to me Tuesday indicating my flex time is no longer acceptable. For the last 6 years has been arrive between 8-9am and leave after 8 hours. Apparently she got a bug up her butt and informed me I need a solid start time. Fine by me. And now today I called and found out my insurance is up at midnight. After a call into our HR department I will find out what is going on. According to them we do have coverage.

All in a days work

So I cannot find the cable for the camera. I will have to look in the van when I get home to show you my new toy. Superdad's truck broke down at about 3pm yesterday. Something with the tensioner pulley and belt. Somehow they managed to track down the part and get it fixed. After "dispatch" agreed to pay for the repair for the owner operator (OO), the repair shop ordered the part, expressed it to them (sent a driver) from 2.5 hours away. The truck should have taken 6 hours from start to finish. It was finally done around midnight. "Dispatch" told Superdaddy better hope you can sleep in the truck we are not authorizing payment for repairs. When the truck is in the repair bay, no customers allowed. In other wards, he was hosed. He called OO at 1am and went off. Needless to say, he finally got to sleep 26 hours later in the truck. Somehow OO got dispatch to agree to pay for part of it and he used his credit card or something to pay for the rest. If Superdaddy was a company driver, he would still be without a truck until maintenance came in at 7:00 am.

It appears for the next two weeks, he will only get half a check. Ya can't tell me it takes 5 days to go from Port Huron Michigan to Kansas City only once. That happened 2 weeks in a row. Well he was supposed to deliver on Saturday AM according to his little GPS computer thingie. He got there Saturday AM only to find out PH was not working. He delivered instead on Monday leaving him last week with only one trip. Now with the truck breaking down, he will only get the one trip unless they find something else to go out for him.

Back from the Sticks

Our weekend was pretty much a bust. Very quiet, but very much spent in a hot van. Saturday we picked Bubba up from scout camp and headed up north almost to the bridge. Superdaddy was very thoughtful and picked me up a very cool birthday present. Too bad it is of no use to me this year as I cannot ride it until after Thumper is born. He got me a quad. Needs new plastics desperately, but heck I am spoiled it has no clutch and an electric start!! Leaving the house to go to scout camp is like an hour and 15 minutes away. Then heading up I-75 for another 275 miles. Then turning around and heading back down 75 for 50 miles than across the state for another 2 hours and then back down state another 90 minutes. Just in time for dinner, campfire and bed. After breakfast, Superdaddy took the quad for a spin. Runs nice. He even let me spin it around the acres for exactly 2 minutes or so (one time around the track) and then booted me off so we could take the kiddo's to the beach before heading home the 4 hours it takes us. All in all not a total bust, but it sure did suck to have to drive and keep driving.

To get home and see a jack stand perforate my driveway was so not cool. Mom's car broke down last week. It was at a store parking lot for 4 days or so and we were panicking about police towing it so my cousin came down to work on it. Only he had the "roadside assistance" tow it to my home instead. Somehow in the process, the passenger tire was removed from vehicle and placed in my back seat. The jack stand the car was on went through the parking lot at the store. I have a black top driveway and aforementioned family member had his head up his ya know what and left the damn car on the jack stand in my driveway. Said car and jack stand perforated my driveway and almost slammed the car down on the rotor. So not cool.

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. I have a pic of my new ride on mom's camera. Will try to remember it tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Superdaddy!

Today Superdaddy is an old man!

Today he was supposed to come home at the kids bedtime. Last night he got stuck without a trailer. Today he will not be coming home. To say I am beyond bummed is an understatement. Though he will be home Saturday early afternoon it is not the same. We will be packing tonight to get ready to go up north for the night. He decided I needed a 4 wheeler for my birthday and he found one for an awesome price so he has to go pick it up about an hour from our trailer up north. Too bad I won't be able to ride it for a little while. Hopefully I will have a few pictures to share when we get back.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Life Saver!

Peroxide, baking soda, dawn dish soap.

Now my dog does not smell. If only I could get the smell off of my porch and my car keys. Ugg

Darn stinkers! HELP

Our dog Killer played with a baby skunk last night. I was up all night trying to "de-skunk" our home. Any suggestions? We washed the dog with dish soap and it helped by 1/2. What can I use on her to make it all go away? I have killed 2 bottles of odor neutralizer in the house. We have an enclosed porch that we left the dog on for about 30 minutes while I figured out what to was he with. Superdad left for work this am and I am so not looking forward to going home with my super sensitive smell detector and smelling the dog or house for that matter.

Quiet weekend?

For someone who doesn't have any money and is always on the rampage about money and back support, someone is going on vacation during Superdaddy's weekend. Un-freaking believable. Lets hope when they do come back over, they don't have head pets again. Supposedly, they got the cooties from my children. The girls however, told a story of how their big brother and sister had it and Miss S as well. Well we haven't seen Miss S since March and before that was almost 2 years.

Superdaddy will hopefully be home this weekend and we can get stuff done. His work truck needs to go to the shop again for the air again. Hopefully they will fix it so his poor hot sweaty self will chill out. His dispatch is messing around with his load ending times this week. They have been set pretty much to the same schedule all along and this week he might run out of drive time to make it back home due to them switching it after he is rolling.

Ex-wife for sale!!! Any takers? C'mon ya know you want one. Help a friend out!

Cooties!

Seems our home has come down with the cooties. The step kids had head lice, the girls have skirted by that one pfewww.

Bubba has sneezing and headaches.

Superdaddy has yucky belly requiring pepto or the likes of. That really sucks for him on the road.

Chicky had 3 shots yesterday and has a slight fever today; in this hot weather sucks.

I have a huge sinus issue going on. Have used almost a whole box of tissue today alone.

Miss J is the only one who has nothing buy needle phobia going on. She had to get 2 vaccines yesterday and was hysterical when the nurse came in with Chicky's stuff. When her nurse came in the little brat hid in the curtain hanging from the ceiling and told the nurse her name was Emily. Give me a break. She was kicking and screaming hysterically. Chicky was telling her it doesn't hurt and she didn't even cry. Bless her heart; she doesn't know she needs 3 more shots next month.

Have to stop on my way home from VBS and pick up some Lysol or something.

My friend who had her baby too early seems to be doing well. Wee Fox seems to be holding his own. Thank you for sending them positive vibes. Lets hope the little guy continues on the upward slope he is on.

Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Superdaddy. Here is to many more yet to come.

Thank God

All of them made it out alive. Praise God. Little guy will be fighting pretty hard for a little while, but he is here and alive.

VERY BAD

SHIT!!!

Things have apparently gone south for her. It looks like she is delivering very early. I am so scared for her and her family. Please pray for her little guy and his parents.

Goings on

I cannot believe my friends little brother graduated high school. We went to his graduation party this weekend. Seems like just yesterday T and D and I were packing up his diaper bag and going to the park. Makes me feel old.

Next week, Bubba will be at scout camp for the week. We plan on going to see him on family night but will have to see.

Superdaddy still has not heard about the job in the sticks. He is less than thrilled about his current situation. In our neck of the woods, the weather has been sort of rainy but hot and humid. His truck has been in to get the air fixed 9 times in the last year. Guess what? OO Took it to a different shop and they fixed it. Only it blows out warm air now instead of no air at all. He has complained about it so much I think OO is tired of hearing about it.

Anyone know of a remedy for TMJ? My jaw is still locked up. It has been locked for almost 9 months or so only unlocking on occasion. It really sucks that I cannot eat a darn peach or apple unless I cut it up. Oh yeah and forget corn on the cob.

RIP Mr. G

Last night, before I left work, we got update on our transplant advocate and patient Mr. G. Mr. G was not doing well at all. Last night, my heart was very heavy as I put the children to bed. I prayed to God and to my dad to find Mr. G's beloved wife and for them to grab Mr. G by the hand and show him the way to eternal life.

Today when I came to work, I learned Mr. G passed away last night. His liver out lasted his body.

Mr. G; you left some pretty large shoes to fill here on earth. You took life by the horns after your surgery and by golly you ran with it. You had been pretty sick here the last few years; a few times we thought you were not going to make it home and you proved us wrong and went home to your beautiful daughter. We joked you were like a cat with 9 lives. Please know, you are one of a kind. You will be missed by many who never met you and many who love you.

God speed to your family and everyone who mourns for your earthly departure. Rejoice for you Heavenly arrival.

Thank you dad and Mrs. G for showing Mr. G the way home.

HE PASSED!!!

HE PASSED!!!

Not that I doubted much, but you know how teenagers are. I did doubt though. Shame on me. Step one is down. Now that the test is done, it cannot be used against him in court. The lying detective told us (him, attny, and myself) that the prosecutor would like the final report from the poly people before she decides if she will charge him or not. The final report comes in about 3 to 4 weeks according to the administrator of the test.

I got official word from my OB that i passed the 3 hr gtt as she put it "with flying colors". Something about needing to fail 2 of 4 components and I passed all 4. Will have to do another 1 hour gtt at 28 weeks or so to see if my body develops it later. I just need to remember not to eat before that test (especially a cookie and 20 oz soda pop on the way there).

Holiday weekend

This holiday weekend was wonderful. Much needed nature time. We saw the most amazing sight. Last time we were there, we seen 2 shooting stars way up in the sky. This time, I seen 1 shooting star way up there and one really close. Like too close for comfort close. It even lasted a long time. There was 6 of us by the fire and we all see it. I swear it was a metiore or something entering the earth. AWESOME!!

The stress leading up to the holiday was killing me. Superdaddy went to the interview. He is waiting for a call back I guess. PIA sent the kids over with head pets so on Sunday night when they were noticed, I was dealing with the lice issue while Superdaddy and Bubba were on the way up north. I did the treatment before they went home yesterday so I can only hope PIA does another treatment next Sunday and gets rid of the "head pets" for good.

Today was the first time I heard the baby heartbeat. It never feels like the other kids did. I cannot wait to get my sugar test results back. I am hoping they come out favorable. Will share pictures tomorrow.

The Sticks

This week has been great having all girls at the house. Sorry Superdaddy and Bubba but it has. We have been getting stuff ready to go to the sticks this weekend. Need to get the heck out of the city. Things have still been status quo on the legal issues. Looks like Wednesday is the day.

Superdaddy has an interview today. Not quite sure exactly how I am feeling about it though. It is up in the sticks. If he gets the job, what does that mean for our family? Well seeing how the sticks are about 4 hours away, he probably will stay up there and try to come home on the weekends. We are finally comfortable financially and how can we afford to run two homes and still have funds to do other things? I guess we will have to wait and see.

Hope everyone has a safe July 4th. Try to stay out of the wicked weather if it is in your area. Be safe; Be blessed.

Status Quoe

Things have settled down for now. Apparently, the police examiner had a "prior commitment" get in the way for the polygraph with Bubba. They called the lawyer to reschedule after the holiday. Though I am happy we can enjoy the holiday; I am pissed that it gets to "hang over" our head a little longer. I wish they would do the test and decide what they were going to do and do it already.

Superdaddy got a call about a job up in the sticks. As he put it, what is the difference being over the road or going local 4 hours from home? We probably will be moving up there within a year. Sure isn't on a mountain in Kentucky as I had wanted, but it is out of the city.

Part of me wants out of the city to never look back, but part of me knows I will miss it. The girls will be the ones to suffer in the short term and benefit in the long run. The ex is gonna blow a gasket when she finds out the plan.

Thanks for the note Amy. It means a lot to me.

Hope everyone has a blessed weekend.

Happy Birthday Miss M!

Today is Miss M and my birthday. Today she turns 7. I won't tell you how old I am turning though. Superdaddy was able to call her this am and tell her happy birthday, PIA did not answer my call. I am sure it erks the hell out her that we share birthday's. Where has the time gone. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was changing your diapers. You are turning out to be a nice young lady. Before much longer, you will be able to ride the go-cart all by yourself.

Happy birthday Miss M!

Ugg

So I just found out the polygraph test for Bubba is going to be Monday. Don't know what time yet just Monday. Mom bought me Chinese food for lunch and I just ate my fortune cookie. Want to know what my fortune was?

HOPE FOR THE BEST, BUT PREPARE FOR THE WORST.


Messed up thing...2 cookies, same fortune on both.


What does that say about Monday? I cannot take much more. I think I am gonna vomit.

Aggravation

Myspace status stalking has proven yet again she is a dil.

PIA is looking for houses this week

Do you know how annoyed I am by the whole "MOVING YET AGAIN" I am?? The girls deserve so much better. We cannot get custody because Superdaddy is on the road and I would be raising them. Our state will not remove from "natural parent" and place in care of step parent unless it is a case of abuse. Plus the bull shit with bubba we cannot afford a second attorney to fight it. Hell in almost 6 years, we have lived in 2 places; she has lived in 5 places and is looking to move again. We are actually looking to move about 3 hours north. I wonder how that will go over if it comes to it. Our school system sucks. We need to go somewhere. Not sure moving to "the sticks" is the answer, but as far away from my in laws as we can move the better.

Give me a break PLEASE!

Things have not let up.

Bubba is away at camp for this week.

Superdaddy called me and talked to me this weekend just not so much when he came home Sunday.

Miss J is feeling better from her surgery however the next few days is when the scabs come off and it gets worse. Pathology came back abnormal for her.

My brother in AZ called me to find out if I had heard from brother in our state. He apparently is homeless.

My mom may be having serious health issues something from the past may have come back like 5 years ago or so without a fucking doctor telling her. Something very bad. She is going for additional tests coming up. I am the only person to know besides her; and well now you guys.

PIA put on her myspace "is looking at houses this weekend!" What does that mean? The whore is looking to move yet again. Yet the girls have lived in the house they have now since right around xmas time and guess what?? THEY STILL HAVE NO BEDS TO SLEEP IN!!

They say God will not give you more than you can handle, but I think I am seriously at my breaking point. I cannot handle much more.

Not good

Superdaddy hasn't spoken to me in almost 2 days. This weekend is camping with the boy scouts so I will not see him all weekend. I think between Bubba's legal trouble and the pregnancy things are not looking to get better any time soon.

I am sick and tired of being so damn stressed out.

At work, I work for 4 surgeons. There is 3 other ladies that insist I am their secretary as well. They keep on dumping shit in my email for me to do for them and then running to my boss when I don't drop my surgeon's shit to do theirs. One even made a comment "Here is more stuff I need to dump on you YIPPEE!!" Yeah anyways. Just had to vent before my body self destructs from depression and stress.

Life

Blight court is a ticket for a messy yard. We do not have a garage hence no storage place. We have bicycles and ATV's in our yard. And apparently it is against city ordinance to have your trash can next to your house it needs to go behind your home. My house has no back yard. It is all front yard.

My dog bit some guy last week. We just went through the 10 day quarantine. She (the boy's mother) didn't think we had the dog licensed or whatever and made a police report. The dog catcher came by; looked at the dog; said everything was ok because she was licensed. Then the cops sent us the ticket for "dog at large' which by the way is a misdemeanor and mandatory court appearance. The dog is registered to Superdaddy. He cannot afford to take time off of work because it would not be just a one day deal, it would turn out to be a 3 day deal with his load running the way it does.

The lawyer thing is bad. Really bad. My son is being accused of something really bad. We need to figure out how to pay for a lawyer for him. He is being accused of a life felony charge. VERY BAD!!! Oh yeah and the detective lied to us. Nice huh.

Just great

Miss J had surgery today. She had her tonsils out. Today was a day spent taking care of her. If she does not keep drinking fluids, I may have to borrow some one's duct tape and make her. Just kidding.

The stupid OB nurse called me apparently, my 1 hour GTT was a little high. She needs me to do a 3 hour test. Great. I am only 9 weeks and normally they don't do the test til 24 weeks or so. What does this mean? Beats me!

In other news, looks like bubba needs an attorney. GREAT!! just great.

Looks like it is going to be a long summer.

Oh yeah, we still have to hear back about the blight ticket ($250) if they are going to drop it or not and the dog bite ticket is $125. Looks like I better try planting that damn money tree again. Sheesh.

Better day

We are supposed to go to see the school buses race in the figure 8 this Saturday. Hopefully PIA will allow the girls to come seeing how it is father's day and all. The storms in the mid west are heart breaking. They certainly need a break. After hearing about all the deaths and tragedy, I feel guilt for wallowing in my problems and realizing how blessed I really am. We have a 2 income home and healthy children. We are able to afford to feed and clothe them. We are able to afford to do a few extras as well and I am sitting on the "pity potty" about the legal problem with Bubba. Wondering what the hell I am going to do with him. He really is a great child. Little mouthy at times (most of the time). He does what he is asked to do after reminding him more than 10 times to do it. Gets good grades at school; only got suspended 2 times this year; now this. Poor choice of actions, poor judgement, valuable lesson none the less.

With all of the stress, it was amazing that I did not smoke at all. Baby probably saved me from my crazed addiction. My kidney's did not fair as well as my lungs though. I drank a 2ltr of Mtdew and paid for it now boy.

Dr. appt sucked butt yesterday. They did a pregnancy test, asked a boat load of questions, and stuck me for 12 tubes of blood. Oh yeah I had to do the 1 hour GTT at 8 weeks 3 days pregnant. Figure that one out. Probably because I am overweight. No worries, things have so far checked out. HIV negative, STD negative, GTT negative, IRON low, Pregnancy test POSITIVE (good thing or I would have been mad drinking that sugar shit).

Happy Father's day to everyone. Give your dad's a hug. Dad I miss you more today than I did yesterday. Love you!

Life

Things in my life have not gotten better, nor gotten any worse. They have kind of plateaued. I have turned my spirits over to the man upstairs. I have cried so hard the last few days, I think I very well may be starting to dehydrate. Honestly, if I didn't know I was pregnant, I would have went and spent $5 on a pack of cigarettes. I swear I could taste them it was so bad.

Because of recent events, our family is in for some pretty life changing events coming up here in the future. Not just the baby, but our family as a whole with schools, and location and such. Will have to share details when they are a little more firmed up.

I have to go to the doctors today for my first visit and with all the stress, I am afraid what my blood pressure will be.

I think there is something in the air because my coworker is a wreck. I don't know the details, nor would I share specifics, but it is bad. Very bad.

To those friends online that are in hard hit weather areas, I pray everyone in your family is safe.

Heartache

Tornado Levels Boy Scout Camp In Iowa

Two people are dead in northern Kansas after tornadoes cut a diagonal path across the state Wednesday night, authorities said.

A spokeswoman for the Kansas Adjutant General's Department said one victim was found in a yard in the town of Chapman. The other was found outside a mobile home in the Jackson County town of Soldier.

The most extensive damage from the tornado outbreak appears to be in Chapman.
A half-mile-wide tornado tore through the town, destroying more than 60 homes and numerous businesses. All three schools were damaged.

A tornado also hit the campus of Kansas State University in Manhattan, damaging buildings and tossing cars.

No injuries were reported there.

In Blencoe, Iowa, a tornado that ripped through a Boy Scout camp in western Iowa added to the weather crisis in a state hit by flooding in the east.

At least four people were killed Wednesday evening when the powerful twister struck the 1,800-acre camp where 93 boys and 25 staff members were attending a weeklong leadership training camp.

More than 40 people were hurt.

A Boy Scout official said the twister destroyed all the buildings and tents and most of the trees. Rescuers dug through piles of debris to reach trapped victims, some of them sheltering under tables.

A rescue official said everyone at the camp has been accounted for.
The National Weather Service issued two warnings minutes before the tornado hit, but it's not clear if the camp had sirens.

Tornadoes also touched down in southern Minnesota and eastern Nebraska.

Bubba is scheduled to to to "Leadership training" next week in our state. My heart is broken for the families of these 'best of the best' boy scouts. Dear Lord please be with their families during this very difficult time.

Not so good

Terrible day. Started off bad...went to worse.

Say a prayer or whatever for me. Lord knows I need strength right now.

The baby is ok...the older kid well that is another story. He is ok physically too. God is testing me. I certainly do not need patience. I need strength.

Life

How can something that was wanted so much feel so bad? If I hear one more time how do you know your pregnant you haven't gone to the doctor yet? I remember him doing this with Chicky and all but give me a break. Part of me thinks this may put a huge strain on our marriage. I mean I have been pregnant 5 times and it is not like I made my period go MIA. I think part of it is the fact that we have been trying going on 2 entire years. Part of the problem though is this...he is only home on weekends at best. How can one time ovulation on that?

I'm just not coping today. This weekend was very trying on me. I never did make it to the cemetery. My house is still a wreck, the laundry didn't get completed, and I have a sink full of dishes still. What did I do all weekend?

Next weekend is the school bus races. I asked him if he wanted to go. The kids love to go. It is a fun day out at the race track. He won't answer me. Like what the heck is he going to do if he is home alone?

The girls got their hair did this weekend. Will have to catch a pic of them to post. Miss J chopped hers very short so she can donate it to the kids with cancer. Chicky just wanted her bangs done but did end up with a little off the back.

Happy birthday old man!

Today you would be 53. Dang you are getting old. The kids and I will sing you happy birthday like we do every year. I don't know if we will make it to the cemetery or not because it is supposed to be rainy. For sure father's day of course. I sure do miss you more than words can every explain.

It is hard to believe in September will be the beginning of 8 years since you have gone to Heaven. Just last week, you welcomed H's mom to heaven. She is sorely missed by her family as well. Give her a hug and tell her I am sorry I wasn't there to say good bye.
Please keep watch over my friend M's unborn baby. They are having a rough go this time around. Please keep watch over our unborn baby as well. Keep him/her healthy and strong.

I LOVE YOU! and I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

Pregnant friend

If you are the praying type, I know someone who is in desperate need of prayers right now. She has had a pretty stressful doctor appointment yesterday and it doesn't look good. Though I have never met her in real life, she has 2 beautiful girls who are her world and had the flu for a while; never entertaining the idea of pregnancy and was blessed with a "surprise". This pregnancy has been extremely hard on her and my heart aches for her. I could barely sleep after hearing her news. Please pray or send her vibes or something; for a healthy baby and her own health as she is fairing pretty poorly these days.

Please Dear God let there be a happy outcome for my pregnant friend whom I have never met. She has gone through so many trials and she really needs you to be present by her side as well as her unborn baby's side during this very stressful time. Amen.

Camping

Miss G is hot rodding!
Miss J hot rodding!
Miss M being cute
Tent city
Cousin's girl hot rodding!

RIP Friend's Mom

One of my high school best friends' mother passed away this morning. I remember growing up trying to hook her mom and my dad up. I am sitting here at work bawling my eyes out. I know that mom is not in pain anymore and lets face it...mom won her fight with cancer. I know my friend and her mother had their differences all of their life but I know friend was with her mom when she made the transition.

Hugs to friend and her family. RIP Mom! You will be missed by many.

Expecting

I wasn't trying to hold out on ya'll. We found out Thursday morning before we went up north this weekend.

When we found out I was pregnant with Chicky, the shit hit the fan with PIA. She went on a rampage. She tried to fight me and everything. She wanted Miss M to be Superdaddy's last child. According to her, he was only meant to have 3 children. She thinks it is her business to try to manage his life. Hell it quit being her business Xmas morning when she packed his shit in trash bags back in 2002. To this day, she tries to be all up in our business "for her children's sake".

More drama to follow...GUARANTEED!

Venting

I firmly believe misery loves company. PIA is very jealous of us. We have more than she does. Her stuff is nicer (house, car etc.) but we have "more". She does not think I can take care of her children the way she can. Like I am not capable of being a mother. Hell her kids already have a mother they sure do not need another one. I think part of it is I am not like her. I will never be like her. I treat our children like they all belong to me. They are treated equally with gifts, love, punishments etc.

One of my biggest pet peeves is simply LYING! I have lied in the past to my folks when I was growing up. The problem with lying is trying to keep the lies straight. She is a compulsive liar. She lies so much, she actually believes what she is saying is the truth. She lies to the kids, Superdaddy; everyone. The girls are becoming chronic liars as well. Example, before taking the kids home Monday, I was doing the clean clothes check (Lord knows if they went home with dirty clothes, we would have protective services at our home). Miss G let me see your undies; CHECK, socks; CHECK. Miss M let me see your undies; CHECK, socks; they are clean. No let me see them, they are clean I promise. No let me see them. SHE WASN'T WEARING ANY!! I took her to Superdaddy who asked her why she lied. She didn't. She was telling the truth. I told her if she was going to lie she was going to have to stay at her moms house and lie there because at our house lying was not acceptable. Sheesh. What is a Step-mom to do?

I think part of the reason PIA has a problem with me is that I am not like her. I do not lie or cheat. I do not blame my problems on anyone else. When I don't like how something is going or not going, I do something to fix it instead of blaming everyone else. I have integrity, honor and morals. If that makes me a horrible person than so be it.

The shit will hit the fan in the near future when she finds out we are expecting again. Good Lord I think I may need an umbrella when it comes raining down.