Diary of a Truck driver wife

I miss you more today than yesterday. In my heart forever.

So much has happened. He is over the road again. I am so lost trying to readjust to him not being home. Sigh

So yesterday was Miss J's birthday. She is 12. How did that happen? She was wishing dad was here with her. Of course we know that didn't happen.

We decided to make stuffed peppers and cabbage last night for dinner. Went to save-a-bunch store around the corner. There in the store was Eric and Brit. They are Miss J's nanny's children. They used to live with us when J was a baby. Good Lord they are grown and beautiful as ever. Small talk in the line at the store. Wow.

Taking the step-kids home and I went to K--mart by their house. Guess who was walking out while I was walking in....Anna their mother. Good Lord. Memories flooded with avengance. She is looking good. She had cancer while she lived with us. She was undergoing chemo and sick. When she was sick, I was taking care of her and while I was at work, she helped take care of the kids.

Long story short, she used drugs with my than husband. Complicated relationship we had. All of us had. A fire cracker she was.

She moved out right before my ex-husband went to jail. Ran across Brit on my space a while ago. Kind of looking from afar at the pictures and such. It has been almost 10 years! Still the feelings flood back quickly. Like seeing my high school sweetie (now hubby) for the first time in so long. Some memories so vivid.

Anyways....Then leaving K--mart the song Closer by N I N comes on the radio. My ex-husband's fav song. Tell me she didn't get her birthday wish. To have her dad near by in spirit.

Trust me....he was around.

Labels: Kids, Life

Still here...Still hanging on. PIA looks like they bid on a house. One that just might be big enough for the family. She just got word they accepted her bid. Hopefully this will be the very last time they move. The kids are less than thrilled about moving. Problem is that the last 3 houses she said they were buying. That was before her new beau. Speaking of beau...things have been so much more peaceful since they got married. She is still money hungry and trying to milk the rock of more money but all in all things have been so much nicer.

His job has been keeping him out more. For a little bit there, he was doing 2 out of town runs a week.

So back before Christmas, Bubba took our white car and wrapped it around a tree. New years eve he took my moms car and got caught. End of January he took my moms car again and got pulled over yet again. I had to tell the cop to arrest him or write him a ticket. Problem with the ticket is simply he doesn't work and we end up paying the ticket anyways. That sucks. To our knowledge he hasn't done it again. Then again, he snuck out 3 times before. We have been more cautious about leaving our car keys and wallets laying around.

Miss J will be 12 this weekend. Where has the time gone. Thumper is walking. Bubba is alive still (not sure how exactly see above). Miss G will be 11 next week. It amazes me how fast they are all growing up.

Will blog again soon.

Labels: Life

Going through a difficult time. Just not Coping. Why me??

Yesterday started out like any normal day. Running late for work as usual. Ended with a bang. Literally. Bubba (who does not quite have his license yet) took the car out of the driveway and smashed it into a tree. Superdaddy is going to kill him when he gets home and finds out. I haven't told him yet as he is on the road at work and there really is no point in raising his blood pressure unnecessarily.

We are all sick in our house. I haven't had a good night sleep in almost a week.

Christmas is a mere 2 days away. Things are bought, things are ready to be wrapped. There isn't enough time in the day.

God Bless and Merry Christmas to all.

Labels: boys, Life

She finally came out that she is addicted. It got really ugly yesterday morning at her house. I am glad I came to drop off Thumper when I did. Things should start looking up from here for her.

Report cards came in. Why oh why is it that if my daughter gets 3 d's you scold her and find reason's she is not getting better grades? ie; babysitting. Why is it that your daughter who lives with PIA is happy she got 3 d's because she needs to try a bit harder you know switching schools again this year. My daughter has a learning disability. And she is lazy. What is your brilliant daughter's excuse? Her mother?

I wish my child could read better. I wish she didn't struggle. I also wish she would put forth half the effort she needs to in order to excel in the subjects she is good at. I wish she wasn't so lazy and had half the effort it needs to get her room cleaned. I also wish your children didn't think of my daughter as their maid. I wish they all would clean the bedroom. I thought splitting the girls up in the room would help. Looks like it hasn't done a darn thing.

Please quit holding the computer chair down and get off your behind and help. The holiday's are going to be hard enough with no money and quite frankly, a mother who is so depressed I cannot see straight. You sitting in the chair yelling about the house not being as tidy as you like it to be is just making it worse. Making me and the children not want to be around. Maybe you and PIA should live together so you can have your tidy house. Lets remember one thing; I have to work outside of my home; away from my children; so your POS ex wife can sit on her rear end and collect welfare and live in a tidy home. So tidy your children didn't get to decorate the tree because she wanted it done her way. So tidy your children's belongings are in storage or tossed out. So tidy your children don't clean up after themselves because she has nothing better to do than to pick up after them.

Maybe I should ask Santa for a maid....maybe I should ask PIA if she wants to come clean my house the way you like it.

Labels: Life