Happy Birthday J!

So yesterday was Miss J's birthday. She is 12. How did that happen? She was wishing dad was here with her. Of course we know that didn't happen.

We decided to make stuffed peppers and cabbage last night for dinner. Went to save-a-bunch store around the corner. There in the store was Eric and Brit. They are Miss J's nanny's children. They used to live with us when J was a baby. Good Lord they are grown and beautiful as ever. Small talk in the line at the store. Wow.

Taking the step-kids home and I went to K--mart by their house. Guess who was walking out while I was walking in....Anna their mother. Good Lord. Memories flooded with avengance. She is looking good. She had cancer while she lived with us. She was undergoing chemo and sick. When she was sick, I was taking care of her and while I was at work, she helped take care of the kids.

Long story short, she used drugs with my than husband. Complicated relationship we had. All of us had. A fire cracker she was.

She moved out right before my ex-husband went to jail. Ran across Brit on my space a while ago. Kind of looking from afar at the pictures and such. It has been almost 10 years! Still the feelings flood back quickly. Like seeing my high school sweetie (now hubby) for the first time in so long. Some memories so vivid.

Anyways....Then leaving K--mart the song Closer by N I N comes on the radio. My ex-husband's fav song. Tell me she didn't get her birthday wish. To have her dad near by in spirit.

Trust me....he was around.