Ever told yourself no matter what you will be ok? Ever find out after, things are not really ok?
I never thought so much would bridge on one stupid sonogram. I almost wish I didn't ask. Things are going well with the pregnancy. Almost text book well. We went for the sonogram on Monday. Well we didn't; I did and my mom, grandma, Miss J and Chicky went. I asked about gender. They did the scan and determined I had to come back again after at least 3 weeks.
We have a healthy baby. It appears to have no external plumbing. I told myself either way as long as it was healthy. I am disappointed with myself and feeling kind of guilty. I am disappointed that our last baby will not be a junior. Shouldn't I be happy God has allowed me to be part of this miracle baby's life? Shouldn't I be happy I am able to have a baby who is healthy?
There are so many out there who cannot have babies and want them desperately. So many who would cut off their own leg or arm for a baby. So many who have angel babies who would give anything to have a baby on earth with them.
I have let the excitement of not knowing fade. I am disappointed in myself. Today I woke up excited for the first time since Monday. I am having a baby Girl. She is called Thumper still until further notice. I think today I am going to announce it to my co-workers. Next time the girls come over we are going to sell them.
Vaccines suck. Chicky had to have her shots updated. She had problems in 8/2005 with getting 2 of the almost same shots on the same day. She has had joint pains, headaches, bone pain and jumping legs since. In order for her to go to school I had to get her shots. I tried to waive them but our state health department does not think I have a valid reason to waive her shots. She had 3 shots last month with out any problem. No fever, nothing. She got the one she got 2 of yesterday as well as 2 others. One she never had, the other she got at the same time. Guess what?? High fever, headache, jumping legs. Last night got maybe 2 hours sleep. I hate vaccine's.
2 comments:
Hey! Do you need some clothes, or have you saved what you need from your youngest?
my girl was born in Feb. so the sizes/seasons should match up. Let me know.
My allergies were not a "valid excuse" for avoid vaccines when I was a kid so my mom claimed "religious differences". You might give that a try in the future. The state cannot force you to vaccinate if you say it is against your religious beliefs. Yes, a white lie, but maybe necessary.
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