Post Secret

So I posted my number on Post Secret yesterday. I had some strangers share their secrets with me. I will share with you anonymously of course. It felt so good to let some of my secrets out believe it or not.

I love him with all of my heart but I worry about being married but still feeling like a single mom

When I signed the email "your weekend girlfriend" I said I was kidding but that's what I think I am.

I pretend to be scared that he's in the USAF but really I wish he'd marry me and move me far away.

I regret ever becoming a mother. I have 3 children and am expecting another soon.

I had an affair with a 30 year old married man when I was 16

I always wonder what the child inside of me felt when it died. It is 5 years later and I wonder what he/she would look like. I tell my mom I don't want kids. The reality is I don't want to loose one again.

He’s using her the same way he used me. I wish I had the courage to tell her what's going on and that he used the same lines on both of us plus others.

I feel greedy for having another child when there are so many others out in the world who want to have a child and cannot.

I have never had an orgasm.

I had an abortion at 16 and now can't look at my 7 yr old daughter without knowing she should have a 9 yr old sibling.

My husband scheduled an interview on the day we are supposed to have our ultrasound/sonogram appt. I am devistated. I secretly hope he does not get the job and he regrets missing our appt.

If I could I would move far away and never talk to my family again and I would make sure they could never find me.

I cheated on my husband. I'm scared to tell him because I don't regret it.

I still dream about my first love even though i'm happily married for 7 years and haven't seen him in 8 years. Than I feel guilty after each dream.

I once had an affair with a girl. I still think of her daily. My husband does not know this. He has my reality, she has my fantasy.

I don't want any more children but have seriously considered having another so I could see my OB more often! She rocks

Sometimes I think things will never get better for me.

She told me she was addicted to me, that she wants to be married. She made herself so vulnerable and as much as I want to protect her, shes going to get hurt.

These were the ones I received so far. Some are pretty deep revelations. Feel free to go to Frank's blog (Post Secret) and see some of the secrets that are revealed there. You will not be disappointed.
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=40031276&blogID=432528289

If you care to share a secret feel free to message me and I can provide my cell number. Your secret is safe with me.

Explanation

I will never say that the ex wife and I were friends or will be friends. I never did a darn thing to her. I have even given her food out of my home when she needed it. Above child support, we buy things for the girls when they need it. All she sees is that he left her and ended up with me. She claims she came first in his life and she should always come first 1998 or there abouts. Problem is this, I came into his life in 9th grade somewhere around 1990. I had a baby with him summer/fall of 1990. Problem with said baby was this...he was almost 18 I was only 16. My parents chose what happened to that baby. If it weren't for parent's interference, we probably would have been together longer. Our future was already written long before we even born.

From day one, she threatened me and tried to poison her girls against me. As her girls have gotten older, they; the older one especially; have seen through her smoke signal. She tries to tell them things that are not true and expect them to believe her instead of what they see with their own eyes.

She has always had a nicer house than I have. Not a problem by me. She has a nice newer car; I have a junker. Her kids go to a better school than mine. What is the problem here? I should have envy over her. I am content with my life. I am happy most of the time.

Misery loves company and I choose not to let her make me miserable. Just last month one of the girls was crying after hubs and I had words. She was crying because she was going to miss me. I was confused. Her mother told her that I was a home wrecker and if dad and I fought enough, we would split up and they could be together again. Somehow she has put it in the kids head that if we split up, hubs will have the house and her and the kids can stay there.

Children should not be used as pawns against one parent or the other. They should be loved and nurtured. They are not game pieces to be toyed with. She has had the children ask me about child support; tried to have friend of the court garnish my wages. Give me a break.

I love my children and my step children with my whole heart and would give my life for them. She loves her children in a different way. One that I am not a fan of. She loves them as long as there is something in it for her. She told the 9 year old that she would let her come live with us except dad wouldn't pay child support and she needs the child support for bills. What does a 9 year old need to know about child support? Precisely.

I guess to sum it up, I am living the type of life she dreams of living. The difference is this...I can support myself. I work and she doesn't. She gets to watch her children every single waking minute of every single day. I don't. I guess in a sense, she lives the life I wish I could live with my children, but then again I would be envious of others who had more in life too. The difference, I would not try to poison my children with lies and hatred in the process.

I am not angry at her per se' I am angry at her behavior. I mean someone who will be 40 next month needs to grow up and get a life!

Jealousy is ugly.

Many thanks

Prayers or good vibes did the trick. The kids get to stay. HAHA! The wench PIA called child (CPS) services on us and opened a case against us. They left a calling card on Wednesday. Unfortunately my coworker had Thursday, Friday and Monday off due to her kid having surgery. They came out this am. Investigated and left. They were going to talk to the children. Who knows if and when we will hear back from him.

I absolutely hate her more. They didn't tell us who called exactly, but things they said and accused were only her or her mother. Miss G dropped a brick on her toe on September 1. The guy asked about it. They asked about no food in the house, dirty living conditions, dirty clothes, baths. All were of course invalid. Hopefully they will go check her home out.

NEWSFLASH! The girls still have no beds at her house! What comes around goes around. Wonder if she shot herself in the foot by calling on our home. Now her home will be investigated as well (or so he told us).

I would never wish CPS on anyone. I haven't slept in 3 days. Dear Lord, I need a vacation!

Uggg

Just cannot catch a break. This sucks monkey ass. Stop and say a prayer for us. Will talk later.

Summer is over :(

Sure was nice to get out of the city for the holiday weekend. Next time, remind me to leave mother at home. She is going to cause me to have a stroke. I actually told her I was gonna leave her on I-75 if she didn't quit yelling at me about other drivers.

Today has been relatively quiet except for the ever so persistent mother hanging up the phone on me. My stress levels are through the roof. I actually think my blood pressure is up.

We told Miss G about the baby. She was so excited, telling everyone who would listen. Miss M didn't come camping. Apparently she was promised other things. Perhaps the second pair of gym shoes is what she was promised. Miss M got 2 brand spanking new pair of gym shoes. Miss G has Zero. Her PIA mother didn't think to get her a pair I guess.

Superdad confronted PIA about her moving yet again after we got home from camp. She tried to block my car in so Superdaddy couldn't leave. She was screaming and yelling to the point that Miss G didn't want to go anywhere with her mom. She wanting nothing to do with her and proceeded to tell Superdad that mom was acting a fool because she heard we were having another baby. Miss G got hysterical when he made her go with PIA after they went shopping to get gym shoes.

Than she demanded to know where Miss G's gym shoes were. She only asked for backpacks. The girls were scared to death they wouldn't have pencils for school. We provided them as well; and a few shirts. The wonderful mother they have been born to was less than appreciative of the book bags and such. She wanted shoes. Why did she get one 2 pairs and the other none?

How can parent's treat their children so different when they born them all? How can you possibly treat one like shit and one like a prince/princess? The reason the girls have both said is simply this: WELL MISS G LOOKS JUST LIKE DAD AND MISS M LOOKS JUST LIKE MOM. Tell me now, didn't she love Superdaddy at one time? What is wrong with her one child looking like him? Jealousy is UGLY!

Hellofa Weekend

Where to begin...

Saturday we had a birthday party to go to for my aunt's father. Superdaddy found a truck to look at on line so we drove an hour away to look at said truck. The truck was perfect. We bought it, was 2 miles from the guys home and the damn thing broke down. Had to get the guy and return it to him. Poor guy has a broken down truck now. Was late to the party but things were ok.

Had to go to graduation party immediately after. Was sort of fun. Didn't hardly know anyone and to be quite frank, I was tired. We didn't stay long.

Bubba asked if he could stay the night at aunt's house. They said it was ok. We let him stay. Got a call around 2:30 am. Had to go pick him up. Why? Him and another child decided to go get a Slurpee and got stopped by police. Busted curfew and got themselves a big ass $125 ticket. My aunt and uncle were pissed. The child is lucky he is alive today. Trust me on that one.

Sunday the kids went to church with my mom and I was gonna stay home and get some much needed sleep. Didn't happen. We went to get Superdaddy's glasses fixed...my car broke down. Much to be said, should have went to church.

Yesterday was ready to go back to work. End of day bout 4:00 my mom calls me to tell me my cousin's kid beaned Chicky in head with wooden baseball bat on accident. She had a golf ball size lump on her forehead. Irony...they were playing golf with tennis ball and baseball bat. Cousin's kid told my mom she walked into the bat. Yeah.

This weekend we are heading to the sticks for some much needed R&R. Hopefully the girls will come early so we can get a jump start on the drive.

My friend Sarah had a terrible weekend and my heart breaks for her. She lost her baby to a miscarriage. She is heart broken.

Camie, I am planning on looking through my baby stuff to see what I need to get. I appreciate your offer and maybe taking you up on it. I will let you know.

Hope everyone has a fabulous week and weekend.

Happenings

Ever told yourself no matter what you will be ok? Ever find out after, things are not really ok?

I never thought so much would bridge on one stupid sonogram. I almost wish I didn't ask. Things are going well with the pregnancy. Almost text book well. We went for the sonogram on Monday. Well we didn't; I did and my mom, grandma, Miss J and Chicky went. I asked about gender. They did the scan and determined I had to come back again after at least 3 weeks.

We have a healthy baby. It appears to have no external plumbing. I told myself either way as long as it was healthy. I am disappointed with myself and feeling kind of guilty. I am disappointed that our last baby will not be a junior. Shouldn't I be happy God has allowed me to be part of this miracle baby's life? Shouldn't I be happy I am able to have a baby who is healthy?

There are so many out there who cannot have babies and want them desperately. So many who would cut off their own leg or arm for a baby. So many who have angel babies who would give anything to have a baby on earth with them.

I have let the excitement of not knowing fade. I am disappointed in myself. Today I woke up excited for the first time since Monday. I am having a baby Girl. She is called Thumper still until further notice. I think today I am going to announce it to my co-workers. Next time the girls come over we are going to sell them.

Vaccines suck. Chicky had to have her shots updated. She had problems in 8/2005 with getting 2 of the almost same shots on the same day. She has had joint pains, headaches, bone pain and jumping legs since. In order for her to go to school I had to get her shots. I tried to waive them but our state health department does not think I have a valid reason to waive her shots. She had 3 shots last month with out any problem. No fever, nothing. She got the one she got 2 of yesterday as well as 2 others. One she never had, the other she got at the same time. Guess what?? High fever, headache, jumping legs. Last night got maybe 2 hours sleep. I hate vaccine's.

Life

We had a great time camping. The girls were awesome. Bubba well he was himself. Didn't see much of him actually. The balloons were a no show so that was a wee bit disappointing. It pored Saturday on us. Sunday was time to leave to go to a family reunion. While in the process of dismantling camp, a tent blew away. Guess who went chasing it and ended up "slip n slimming"? You guessed it was me. Fell square on my rear end in a big puddle of slimy mud. My only pair of pants and sweatshirt was full of mud. All in all, I knew I was doomed to fall so I made sure the fall happened on my extra cushion. We plan on telling the girls about Thumper Labor Day weekend that way PIA will still let them go camping.

Seems the girls have not been home in a while. I guess her mother is sick so they are staying there. The vacation that she supposedly took the girls on was a lie. They never went to the bridge for a week, nor did they go to Frankenmuth with papa on Superdaddy's birthday. They went to a carnival. Papa was driving, mom in front seat, and Nana, Sister A, Miss G, and Miss M were smashed in Nana's back seat. There was not enough belts for them to be buckled, so they didn't. Where are the cops when you need them. She still won't put Miss M in a booster seat as required by law.

Her baby seems to be holding his own today. He is one strong little guy that is for sure.

My fear

This about sums it up. Superdaddy got a GoldWing motor cycle. He is going for his road test this weekend if it doesn't rain. This scares me very much because in our area, people drive very aggressively. Bless all the bikers out there.


JUST A BIKER
I saw you; hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line.
But you didn't see me put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday.
I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk.
But you didn't see me playing Santa at the local Mall.
I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant when you saw my bike parked out front.
But you didn't see me attending a meeting to Raise more money for the hurricane relief.
I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I rode by.
But you didn't see me riding behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window. I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children.
But you didn't see me, when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless.
I saw you stare at my long hair.
But you didn't see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love.
I saw you roll your eyes at our Leather jackets and gloves.
But you didn't see me and my brothers donate our old ones to those that had none.
I saw you look in fright at my tattoos.
But you didn't see me cry as my children where born or have their name written over and in my heart.
I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere.
But you didn't see me going home to be with my family.
I saw you, complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be.
But you didn't see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.
I saw you yelling at your kids in the car.
But you didn't see me pat my child's hands knowing she was safe behind me.
I saw you reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road.
But you didn't see me squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn.
I saw you race down the road in the rain.
But you didn't see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.
I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time.
But you didn't see me trying to turn right.
I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in.
But you didn't see me leave the road.
I saw you, waiting impatiently for my friends to pass.
But you didn't see me. I wasn't there.
I saw you go home to your family.
But you didn't see me. Because I died that day you cut me off.

I was just a biker. A person with friends and a family. But you didn't see me.
I hope you never lose someone that rides.
EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE US, RESPECT OUR RIGHTS TO RIDE WHAT WE CHOOSE AND TAKE A FEW EXTRA SECONDS TO BE SURE WE ARE NOT IN 'YOUR' WAY

Ramblings

Her baby is pretty sick again. She is not coping very well and to be honest my heart is breaking. I wish there was something I could do to help her out. Please send her your warm thoughts as she and her family struggle with their boy being so far away and being so sick.

Yesterday was my 16 week dr. appointment. Things are going swimmingly. I seem to have gained 5.6 lbs in 4 weeks after loosing 2 lbs the 4 weeks prior to that. Total of 4.6 lbs I guess. I have my ultrasound on August 18. Hoping to find external plumbing on Thumper of course. If there is no plumbing we will be overjoyed as well. They had a real difficult time finding Thumper's heartbeat. They looked for almost 3 minutes and just when I was starting to panic, they found it.

We still have not heard from the detective about Bubba. Tomorrow is 4 weeks since he took the poly test. I wonder if we have to keep waiting. I am too scared to call the detective and inquire though. All i know is that i feel terrible Bubba is still grounded and has been since June 10. His whole summer is basically history. I have been looking into doing school of choice for him next year. The problem I am having is transportation to get him there.

I don't think I ever shared a picture of my new ride. Though it is used (and abused) it is still new to me.

insurance hell

Superdad has an appointment Saturday. They just called me to tell me he won't have health insurance after midnight tonight. I called our insurance carrier. Indeed everyone except Miss G and Miss M will have their insurance terminated at midnight tonight. Including myself! I am beyond distraught. Does this mean I am going to be out of a job? Who really knows at this point. Martha (boss) sent a crazy email to me Tuesday indicating my flex time is no longer acceptable. For the last 6 years has been arrive between 8-9am and leave after 8 hours. Apparently she got a bug up her butt and informed me I need a solid start time. Fine by me. And now today I called and found out my insurance is up at midnight. After a call into our HR department I will find out what is going on. According to them we do have coverage.

All in a days work

So I cannot find the cable for the camera. I will have to look in the van when I get home to show you my new toy. Superdad's truck broke down at about 3pm yesterday. Something with the tensioner pulley and belt. Somehow they managed to track down the part and get it fixed. After "dispatch" agreed to pay for the repair for the owner operator (OO), the repair shop ordered the part, expressed it to them (sent a driver) from 2.5 hours away. The truck should have taken 6 hours from start to finish. It was finally done around midnight. "Dispatch" told Superdaddy better hope you can sleep in the truck we are not authorizing payment for repairs. When the truck is in the repair bay, no customers allowed. In other wards, he was hosed. He called OO at 1am and went off. Needless to say, he finally got to sleep 26 hours later in the truck. Somehow OO got dispatch to agree to pay for part of it and he used his credit card or something to pay for the rest. If Superdaddy was a company driver, he would still be without a truck until maintenance came in at 7:00 am.

It appears for the next two weeks, he will only get half a check. Ya can't tell me it takes 5 days to go from Port Huron Michigan to Kansas City only once. That happened 2 weeks in a row. Well he was supposed to deliver on Saturday AM according to his little GPS computer thingie. He got there Saturday AM only to find out PH was not working. He delivered instead on Monday leaving him last week with only one trip. Now with the truck breaking down, he will only get the one trip unless they find something else to go out for him.

Back from the Sticks

Our weekend was pretty much a bust. Very quiet, but very much spent in a hot van. Saturday we picked Bubba up from scout camp and headed up north almost to the bridge. Superdaddy was very thoughtful and picked me up a very cool birthday present. Too bad it is of no use to me this year as I cannot ride it until after Thumper is born. He got me a quad. Needs new plastics desperately, but heck I am spoiled it has no clutch and an electric start!! Leaving the house to go to scout camp is like an hour and 15 minutes away. Then heading up I-75 for another 275 miles. Then turning around and heading back down 75 for 50 miles than across the state for another 2 hours and then back down state another 90 minutes. Just in time for dinner, campfire and bed. After breakfast, Superdaddy took the quad for a spin. Runs nice. He even let me spin it around the acres for exactly 2 minutes or so (one time around the track) and then booted me off so we could take the kiddo's to the beach before heading home the 4 hours it takes us. All in all not a total bust, but it sure did suck to have to drive and keep driving.

To get home and see a jack stand perforate my driveway was so not cool. Mom's car broke down last week. It was at a store parking lot for 4 days or so and we were panicking about police towing it so my cousin came down to work on it. Only he had the "roadside assistance" tow it to my home instead. Somehow in the process, the passenger tire was removed from vehicle and placed in my back seat. The jack stand the car was on went through the parking lot at the store. I have a black top driveway and aforementioned family member had his head up his ya know what and left the damn car on the jack stand in my driveway. Said car and jack stand perforated my driveway and almost slammed the car down on the rotor. So not cool.

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. I have a pic of my new ride on mom's camera. Will try to remember it tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Superdaddy!

Today Superdaddy is an old man!

Today he was supposed to come home at the kids bedtime. Last night he got stuck without a trailer. Today he will not be coming home. To say I am beyond bummed is an understatement. Though he will be home Saturday early afternoon it is not the same. We will be packing tonight to get ready to go up north for the night. He decided I needed a 4 wheeler for my birthday and he found one for an awesome price so he has to go pick it up about an hour from our trailer up north. Too bad I won't be able to ride it for a little while. Hopefully I will have a few pictures to share when we get back.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Life Saver!

Peroxide, baking soda, dawn dish soap.

Now my dog does not smell. If only I could get the smell off of my porch and my car keys. Ugg

Darn stinkers! HELP

Our dog Killer played with a baby skunk last night. I was up all night trying to "de-skunk" our home. Any suggestions? We washed the dog with dish soap and it helped by 1/2. What can I use on her to make it all go away? I have killed 2 bottles of odor neutralizer in the house. We have an enclosed porch that we left the dog on for about 30 minutes while I figured out what to was he with. Superdad left for work this am and I am so not looking forward to going home with my super sensitive smell detector and smelling the dog or house for that matter.

Quiet weekend?

For someone who doesn't have any money and is always on the rampage about money and back support, someone is going on vacation during Superdaddy's weekend. Un-freaking believable. Lets hope when they do come back over, they don't have head pets again. Supposedly, they got the cooties from my children. The girls however, told a story of how their big brother and sister had it and Miss S as well. Well we haven't seen Miss S since March and before that was almost 2 years.

Superdaddy will hopefully be home this weekend and we can get stuff done. His work truck needs to go to the shop again for the air again. Hopefully they will fix it so his poor hot sweaty self will chill out. His dispatch is messing around with his load ending times this week. They have been set pretty much to the same schedule all along and this week he might run out of drive time to make it back home due to them switching it after he is rolling.

Ex-wife for sale!!! Any takers? C'mon ya know you want one. Help a friend out!

Cooties!

Seems our home has come down with the cooties. The step kids had head lice, the girls have skirted by that one pfewww.

Bubba has sneezing and headaches.

Superdaddy has yucky belly requiring pepto or the likes of. That really sucks for him on the road.

Chicky had 3 shots yesterday and has a slight fever today; in this hot weather sucks.

I have a huge sinus issue going on. Have used almost a whole box of tissue today alone.

Miss J is the only one who has nothing buy needle phobia going on. She had to get 2 vaccines yesterday and was hysterical when the nurse came in with Chicky's stuff. When her nurse came in the little brat hid in the curtain hanging from the ceiling and told the nurse her name was Emily. Give me a break. She was kicking and screaming hysterically. Chicky was telling her it doesn't hurt and she didn't even cry. Bless her heart; she doesn't know she needs 3 more shots next month.

Have to stop on my way home from VBS and pick up some Lysol or something.

My friend who had her baby too early seems to be doing well. Wee Fox seems to be holding his own. Thank you for sending them positive vibes. Lets hope the little guy continues on the upward slope he is on.

Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Superdaddy. Here is to many more yet to come.

Thank God

All of them made it out alive. Praise God. Little guy will be fighting pretty hard for a little while, but he is here and alive.

VERY BAD

SHIT!!!

Things have apparently gone south for her. It looks like she is delivering very early. I am so scared for her and her family. Please pray for her little guy and his parents.

Goings on

I cannot believe my friends little brother graduated high school. We went to his graduation party this weekend. Seems like just yesterday T and D and I were packing up his diaper bag and going to the park. Makes me feel old.

Next week, Bubba will be at scout camp for the week. We plan on going to see him on family night but will have to see.

Superdaddy still has not heard about the job in the sticks. He is less than thrilled about his current situation. In our neck of the woods, the weather has been sort of rainy but hot and humid. His truck has been in to get the air fixed 9 times in the last year. Guess what? OO Took it to a different shop and they fixed it. Only it blows out warm air now instead of no air at all. He has complained about it so much I think OO is tired of hearing about it.

Anyone know of a remedy for TMJ? My jaw is still locked up. It has been locked for almost 9 months or so only unlocking on occasion. It really sucks that I cannot eat a darn peach or apple unless I cut it up. Oh yeah and forget corn on the cob.

RIP Mr. G

Last night, before I left work, we got update on our transplant advocate and patient Mr. G. Mr. G was not doing well at all. Last night, my heart was very heavy as I put the children to bed. I prayed to God and to my dad to find Mr. G's beloved wife and for them to grab Mr. G by the hand and show him the way to eternal life.

Today when I came to work, I learned Mr. G passed away last night. His liver out lasted his body.

Mr. G; you left some pretty large shoes to fill here on earth. You took life by the horns after your surgery and by golly you ran with it. You had been pretty sick here the last few years; a few times we thought you were not going to make it home and you proved us wrong and went home to your beautiful daughter. We joked you were like a cat with 9 lives. Please know, you are one of a kind. You will be missed by many who never met you and many who love you.

God speed to your family and everyone who mourns for your earthly departure. Rejoice for you Heavenly arrival.

Thank you dad and Mrs. G for showing Mr. G the way home.

HE PASSED!!!

HE PASSED!!!

Not that I doubted much, but you know how teenagers are. I did doubt though. Shame on me. Step one is down. Now that the test is done, it cannot be used against him in court. The lying detective told us (him, attny, and myself) that the prosecutor would like the final report from the poly people before she decides if she will charge him or not. The final report comes in about 3 to 4 weeks according to the administrator of the test.

I got official word from my OB that i passed the 3 hr gtt as she put it "with flying colors". Something about needing to fail 2 of 4 components and I passed all 4. Will have to do another 1 hour gtt at 28 weeks or so to see if my body develops it later. I just need to remember not to eat before that test (especially a cookie and 20 oz soda pop on the way there).

Holiday weekend

This holiday weekend was wonderful. Much needed nature time. We saw the most amazing sight. Last time we were there, we seen 2 shooting stars way up in the sky. This time, I seen 1 shooting star way up there and one really close. Like too close for comfort close. It even lasted a long time. There was 6 of us by the fire and we all see it. I swear it was a metiore or something entering the earth. AWESOME!!

The stress leading up to the holiday was killing me. Superdaddy went to the interview. He is waiting for a call back I guess. PIA sent the kids over with head pets so on Sunday night when they were noticed, I was dealing with the lice issue while Superdaddy and Bubba were on the way up north. I did the treatment before they went home yesterday so I can only hope PIA does another treatment next Sunday and gets rid of the "head pets" for good.

Today was the first time I heard the baby heartbeat. It never feels like the other kids did. I cannot wait to get my sugar test results back. I am hoping they come out favorable. Will share pictures tomorrow.

The Sticks

This week has been great having all girls at the house. Sorry Superdaddy and Bubba but it has. We have been getting stuff ready to go to the sticks this weekend. Need to get the heck out of the city. Things have still been status quo on the legal issues. Looks like Wednesday is the day.

Superdaddy has an interview today. Not quite sure exactly how I am feeling about it though. It is up in the sticks. If he gets the job, what does that mean for our family? Well seeing how the sticks are about 4 hours away, he probably will stay up there and try to come home on the weekends. We are finally comfortable financially and how can we afford to run two homes and still have funds to do other things? I guess we will have to wait and see.

Hope everyone has a safe July 4th. Try to stay out of the wicked weather if it is in your area. Be safe; Be blessed.

Status Quoe

Things have settled down for now. Apparently, the police examiner had a "prior commitment" get in the way for the polygraph with Bubba. They called the lawyer to reschedule after the holiday. Though I am happy we can enjoy the holiday; I am pissed that it gets to "hang over" our head a little longer. I wish they would do the test and decide what they were going to do and do it already.

Superdaddy got a call about a job up in the sticks. As he put it, what is the difference being over the road or going local 4 hours from home? We probably will be moving up there within a year. Sure isn't on a mountain in Kentucky as I had wanted, but it is out of the city.

Part of me wants out of the city to never look back, but part of me knows I will miss it. The girls will be the ones to suffer in the short term and benefit in the long run. The ex is gonna blow a gasket when she finds out the plan.

Thanks for the note Amy. It means a lot to me.

Hope everyone has a blessed weekend.

Happy Birthday Miss M!

Today is Miss M and my birthday. Today she turns 7. I won't tell you how old I am turning though. Superdaddy was able to call her this am and tell her happy birthday, PIA did not answer my call. I am sure it erks the hell out her that we share birthday's. Where has the time gone. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was changing your diapers. You are turning out to be a nice young lady. Before much longer, you will be able to ride the go-cart all by yourself.

Happy birthday Miss M!

Ugg

So I just found out the polygraph test for Bubba is going to be Monday. Don't know what time yet just Monday. Mom bought me Chinese food for lunch and I just ate my fortune cookie. Want to know what my fortune was?

HOPE FOR THE BEST, BUT PREPARE FOR THE WORST.


Messed up thing...2 cookies, same fortune on both.


What does that say about Monday? I cannot take much more. I think I am gonna vomit.

Aggravation

Myspace status stalking has proven yet again she is a dil.

PIA is looking for houses this week

Do you know how annoyed I am by the whole "MOVING YET AGAIN" I am?? The girls deserve so much better. We cannot get custody because Superdaddy is on the road and I would be raising them. Our state will not remove from "natural parent" and place in care of step parent unless it is a case of abuse. Plus the bull shit with bubba we cannot afford a second attorney to fight it. Hell in almost 6 years, we have lived in 2 places; she has lived in 5 places and is looking to move again. We are actually looking to move about 3 hours north. I wonder how that will go over if it comes to it. Our school system sucks. We need to go somewhere. Not sure moving to "the sticks" is the answer, but as far away from my in laws as we can move the better.

Give me a break PLEASE!

Things have not let up.

Bubba is away at camp for this week.

Superdaddy called me and talked to me this weekend just not so much when he came home Sunday.

Miss J is feeling better from her surgery however the next few days is when the scabs come off and it gets worse. Pathology came back abnormal for her.

My brother in AZ called me to find out if I had heard from brother in our state. He apparently is homeless.

My mom may be having serious health issues something from the past may have come back like 5 years ago or so without a fucking doctor telling her. Something very bad. She is going for additional tests coming up. I am the only person to know besides her; and well now you guys.

PIA put on her myspace "is looking at houses this weekend!" What does that mean? The whore is looking to move yet again. Yet the girls have lived in the house they have now since right around xmas time and guess what?? THEY STILL HAVE NO BEDS TO SLEEP IN!!

They say God will not give you more than you can handle, but I think I am seriously at my breaking point. I cannot handle much more.

Not good

Superdaddy hasn't spoken to me in almost 2 days. This weekend is camping with the boy scouts so I will not see him all weekend. I think between Bubba's legal trouble and the pregnancy things are not looking to get better any time soon.

I am sick and tired of being so damn stressed out.

At work, I work for 4 surgeons. There is 3 other ladies that insist I am their secretary as well. They keep on dumping shit in my email for me to do for them and then running to my boss when I don't drop my surgeon's shit to do theirs. One even made a comment "Here is more stuff I need to dump on you YIPPEE!!" Yeah anyways. Just had to vent before my body self destructs from depression and stress.

Life

Blight court is a ticket for a messy yard. We do not have a garage hence no storage place. We have bicycles and ATV's in our yard. And apparently it is against city ordinance to have your trash can next to your house it needs to go behind your home. My house has no back yard. It is all front yard.

My dog bit some guy last week. We just went through the 10 day quarantine. She (the boy's mother) didn't think we had the dog licensed or whatever and made a police report. The dog catcher came by; looked at the dog; said everything was ok because she was licensed. Then the cops sent us the ticket for "dog at large' which by the way is a misdemeanor and mandatory court appearance. The dog is registered to Superdaddy. He cannot afford to take time off of work because it would not be just a one day deal, it would turn out to be a 3 day deal with his load running the way it does.

The lawyer thing is bad. Really bad. My son is being accused of something really bad. We need to figure out how to pay for a lawyer for him. He is being accused of a life felony charge. VERY BAD!!! Oh yeah and the detective lied to us. Nice huh.

Just great

Miss J had surgery today. She had her tonsils out. Today was a day spent taking care of her. If she does not keep drinking fluids, I may have to borrow some one's duct tape and make her. Just kidding.

The stupid OB nurse called me apparently, my 1 hour GTT was a little high. She needs me to do a 3 hour test. Great. I am only 9 weeks and normally they don't do the test til 24 weeks or so. What does this mean? Beats me!

In other news, looks like bubba needs an attorney. GREAT!! just great.

Looks like it is going to be a long summer.

Oh yeah, we still have to hear back about the blight ticket ($250) if they are going to drop it or not and the dog bite ticket is $125. Looks like I better try planting that damn money tree again. Sheesh.

Better day

We are supposed to go to see the school buses race in the figure 8 this Saturday. Hopefully PIA will allow the girls to come seeing how it is father's day and all. The storms in the mid west are heart breaking. They certainly need a break. After hearing about all the deaths and tragedy, I feel guilt for wallowing in my problems and realizing how blessed I really am. We have a 2 income home and healthy children. We are able to afford to feed and clothe them. We are able to afford to do a few extras as well and I am sitting on the "pity potty" about the legal problem with Bubba. Wondering what the hell I am going to do with him. He really is a great child. Little mouthy at times (most of the time). He does what he is asked to do after reminding him more than 10 times to do it. Gets good grades at school; only got suspended 2 times this year; now this. Poor choice of actions, poor judgement, valuable lesson none the less.

With all of the stress, it was amazing that I did not smoke at all. Baby probably saved me from my crazed addiction. My kidney's did not fair as well as my lungs though. I drank a 2ltr of Mtdew and paid for it now boy.

Dr. appt sucked butt yesterday. They did a pregnancy test, asked a boat load of questions, and stuck me for 12 tubes of blood. Oh yeah I had to do the 1 hour GTT at 8 weeks 3 days pregnant. Figure that one out. Probably because I am overweight. No worries, things have so far checked out. HIV negative, STD negative, GTT negative, IRON low, Pregnancy test POSITIVE (good thing or I would have been mad drinking that sugar shit).

Happy Father's day to everyone. Give your dad's a hug. Dad I miss you more today than I did yesterday. Love you!

Life

Things in my life have not gotten better, nor gotten any worse. They have kind of plateaued. I have turned my spirits over to the man upstairs. I have cried so hard the last few days, I think I very well may be starting to dehydrate. Honestly, if I didn't know I was pregnant, I would have went and spent $5 on a pack of cigarettes. I swear I could taste them it was so bad.

Because of recent events, our family is in for some pretty life changing events coming up here in the future. Not just the baby, but our family as a whole with schools, and location and such. Will have to share details when they are a little more firmed up.

I have to go to the doctors today for my first visit and with all the stress, I am afraid what my blood pressure will be.

I think there is something in the air because my coworker is a wreck. I don't know the details, nor would I share specifics, but it is bad. Very bad.

To those friends online that are in hard hit weather areas, I pray everyone in your family is safe.

Heartache

Tornado Levels Boy Scout Camp In Iowa

Two people are dead in northern Kansas after tornadoes cut a diagonal path across the state Wednesday night, authorities said.

A spokeswoman for the Kansas Adjutant General's Department said one victim was found in a yard in the town of Chapman. The other was found outside a mobile home in the Jackson County town of Soldier.

The most extensive damage from the tornado outbreak appears to be in Chapman.
A half-mile-wide tornado tore through the town, destroying more than 60 homes and numerous businesses. All three schools were damaged.

A tornado also hit the campus of Kansas State University in Manhattan, damaging buildings and tossing cars.

No injuries were reported there.

In Blencoe, Iowa, a tornado that ripped through a Boy Scout camp in western Iowa added to the weather crisis in a state hit by flooding in the east.

At least four people were killed Wednesday evening when the powerful twister struck the 1,800-acre camp where 93 boys and 25 staff members were attending a weeklong leadership training camp.

More than 40 people were hurt.

A Boy Scout official said the twister destroyed all the buildings and tents and most of the trees. Rescuers dug through piles of debris to reach trapped victims, some of them sheltering under tables.

A rescue official said everyone at the camp has been accounted for.
The National Weather Service issued two warnings minutes before the tornado hit, but it's not clear if the camp had sirens.

Tornadoes also touched down in southern Minnesota and eastern Nebraska.

Bubba is scheduled to to to "Leadership training" next week in our state. My heart is broken for the families of these 'best of the best' boy scouts. Dear Lord please be with their families during this very difficult time.

Not so good

Terrible day. Started off bad...went to worse.

Say a prayer or whatever for me. Lord knows I need strength right now.

The baby is ok...the older kid well that is another story. He is ok physically too. God is testing me. I certainly do not need patience. I need strength.

Life

How can something that was wanted so much feel so bad? If I hear one more time how do you know your pregnant you haven't gone to the doctor yet? I remember him doing this with Chicky and all but give me a break. Part of me thinks this may put a huge strain on our marriage. I mean I have been pregnant 5 times and it is not like I made my period go MIA. I think part of it is the fact that we have been trying going on 2 entire years. Part of the problem though is this...he is only home on weekends at best. How can one time ovulation on that?

I'm just not coping today. This weekend was very trying on me. I never did make it to the cemetery. My house is still a wreck, the laundry didn't get completed, and I have a sink full of dishes still. What did I do all weekend?

Next weekend is the school bus races. I asked him if he wanted to go. The kids love to go. It is a fun day out at the race track. He won't answer me. Like what the heck is he going to do if he is home alone?

The girls got their hair did this weekend. Will have to catch a pic of them to post. Miss J chopped hers very short so she can donate it to the kids with cancer. Chicky just wanted her bangs done but did end up with a little off the back.

Happy birthday old man!

Today you would be 53. Dang you are getting old. The kids and I will sing you happy birthday like we do every year. I don't know if we will make it to the cemetery or not because it is supposed to be rainy. For sure father's day of course. I sure do miss you more than words can every explain.

It is hard to believe in September will be the beginning of 8 years since you have gone to Heaven. Just last week, you welcomed H's mom to heaven. She is sorely missed by her family as well. Give her a hug and tell her I am sorry I wasn't there to say good bye.
Please keep watch over my friend M's unborn baby. They are having a rough go this time around. Please keep watch over our unborn baby as well. Keep him/her healthy and strong.

I LOVE YOU! and I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

Pregnant friend

If you are the praying type, I know someone who is in desperate need of prayers right now. She has had a pretty stressful doctor appointment yesterday and it doesn't look good. Though I have never met her in real life, she has 2 beautiful girls who are her world and had the flu for a while; never entertaining the idea of pregnancy and was blessed with a "surprise". This pregnancy has been extremely hard on her and my heart aches for her. I could barely sleep after hearing her news. Please pray or send her vibes or something; for a healthy baby and her own health as she is fairing pretty poorly these days.

Please Dear God let there be a happy outcome for my pregnant friend whom I have never met. She has gone through so many trials and she really needs you to be present by her side as well as her unborn baby's side during this very stressful time. Amen.

Camping

Miss G is hot rodding!
Miss J hot rodding!
Miss M being cute
Tent city
Cousin's girl hot rodding!

RIP Friend's Mom

One of my high school best friends' mother passed away this morning. I remember growing up trying to hook her mom and my dad up. I am sitting here at work bawling my eyes out. I know that mom is not in pain anymore and lets face it...mom won her fight with cancer. I know my friend and her mother had their differences all of their life but I know friend was with her mom when she made the transition.

Hugs to friend and her family. RIP Mom! You will be missed by many.

Expecting

I wasn't trying to hold out on ya'll. We found out Thursday morning before we went up north this weekend.

When we found out I was pregnant with Chicky, the shit hit the fan with PIA. She went on a rampage. She tried to fight me and everything. She wanted Miss M to be Superdaddy's last child. According to her, he was only meant to have 3 children. She thinks it is her business to try to manage his life. Hell it quit being her business Xmas morning when she packed his shit in trash bags back in 2002. To this day, she tries to be all up in our business "for her children's sake".

More drama to follow...GUARANTEED!

Venting

I firmly believe misery loves company. PIA is very jealous of us. We have more than she does. Her stuff is nicer (house, car etc.) but we have "more". She does not think I can take care of her children the way she can. Like I am not capable of being a mother. Hell her kids already have a mother they sure do not need another one. I think part of it is I am not like her. I will never be like her. I treat our children like they all belong to me. They are treated equally with gifts, love, punishments etc.

One of my biggest pet peeves is simply LYING! I have lied in the past to my folks when I was growing up. The problem with lying is trying to keep the lies straight. She is a compulsive liar. She lies so much, she actually believes what she is saying is the truth. She lies to the kids, Superdaddy; everyone. The girls are becoming chronic liars as well. Example, before taking the kids home Monday, I was doing the clean clothes check (Lord knows if they went home with dirty clothes, we would have protective services at our home). Miss G let me see your undies; CHECK, socks; CHECK. Miss M let me see your undies; CHECK, socks; they are clean. No let me see them, they are clean I promise. No let me see them. SHE WASN'T WEARING ANY!! I took her to Superdaddy who asked her why she lied. She didn't. She was telling the truth. I told her if she was going to lie she was going to have to stay at her moms house and lie there because at our house lying was not acceptable. Sheesh. What is a Step-mom to do?

I think part of the reason PIA has a problem with me is that I am not like her. I do not lie or cheat. I do not blame my problems on anyone else. When I don't like how something is going or not going, I do something to fix it instead of blaming everyone else. I have integrity, honor and morals. If that makes me a horrible person than so be it.

The shit will hit the fan in the near future when she finds out we are expecting again. Good Lord I think I may need an umbrella when it comes raining down.

Does it ever get easier?

I just don't get it. This weekend was wonderful. Very little aggravation and conflict. When we got home, I was so frustrated with things. When Superdaddy took the girls home, PIA had a huge attitude about missing a spring jacket. I found the jacket this morning. I was nice enough to bring it by her house and she was pissy about it. Then called Superdaddy and told him I was rude and nasty to her. I was late to work and she couldn't even say thank you. I guess one important lesson is this: You need to give respect in order to receive respect. Lets face it that is something she will never get because she does not give it. I think personally she needs to find fault with Superdaddy and I so she can feel better about herself for some reason. Things will get worse coming up shortly guaranteed. I cannot wait for the day when the girls are old enough that we don't have to deal with her as much. It would be a day too soon.

I will share pictures of our camping excursion tomorrow. I forgot the camera at home.

Busted weekend

So after my little temper tantrum about the girls, they didn't come after all. My weekend was almost a bust. Saturday, I took my cousin and his kid to get a free car seat because the law is changing in July. A quick trip turned into almost 4 hours of 4 children in the vehicle sitting. Believe it or not, they were good as gold. I was impressed. After that, I took down the bunk beds that cousin was taking home for his kid. It rained of course and I had to drive it to his digs to avoid ruining the wood.

Sunday I took the girls to the zoo. That was almost a bust as well. I took a friend of my mom's to the zoo. She is a senior citizen with 2 adult retarded children. All they wanted to do was ride the train. We rode the train to the back of the zoo, went to see the kangaroo's and polar bears and took the train back to the front and left. Her oldest was having a melt down at the polar bear exhibit. Not pretty. Did get 2 rose bushes dug up yesterday before I threw in the towel and called it quits for the night. Maybe today I can try to get another bush out.

Ya know what really sucks is doing the right thing and getting kicked in the teeth for it. My cousin and his son moved out of my aunts home last week. His dad (my uncle) was on top of him hitting him and my cousin's son walked into the room. My cousin decided to pack his stuff and leave. His parents let him take some things and made him leave other things. Superdaddy and him go hunting and hanging out and stuff. Since my aunt found out we knew what happened she has not spoken to me at all. Messed up thing is this...today I forgot my cell phone at home. Miss J missed the bus. She called freaking out when I finally got to work. She asked my aunt to get a hold of me to tell me she missed the bus and I didn't have my phone...I still have not heard from my aunt. My mom asked her to get in touch with me about Miss J as well.

Now tell me if family is not supposed to help family who is? Personally, I would be pissed off at my family for not helping some other family member out. Give me a break.

Oooppss!

Looks like Superdaddy pissed her off real good this time when he told her he was going to Scout camp with Bubba. Either that or she found my blog.

Will have a faboulous weekend either way.

The story of my life!

Of course. This is the story of my life.

Superdaddy and Bubba are going to Boy Scout camp this weekend, I have a ton of stuff to get done around the house, laundry, yard work, packing for camp next weekend, shopping for jeans for the girls at a second hand store. Guess what? Bet ya already guessed. PIA has decided our tax money and stimulation check was enough money to buy their love temporarily and let them come over this weekend. I have missed them girls so much, but why do they have to come over when I have like 48 hours worth of shit to do crammed into 24 hours a day????? Good thing what I had planned to do didn't actually cost money to do (except for the shopping for jeans) and been budgeted for. Told ya she could mess up a wet dream. The kicker is...it is not our weekend!!!

Perhaps I can con them into helping with the yard work instead of killing each other in the back yard over bubbles or bicycles? Yeah right. Perhaps they will get their bedroom cleaned up? Hell a mother/step-mother can dream can't she?

Superdaddy still does not know what this week holds for him and work. Part of me wished he delivered commodities (food and household products) so I knew he would always have work, but then again, that would leave him home less and driving coast to coast instead of regionally.

Going's on

The "bone" yard still needs some work. Quite a bit of work actually. Yesterday was not a good day to do yard work. It poured all day. In fact, I went to scout camp with Miss J's school yesterday in the rain. I almost got "lunch time detention" yesterday for playing in the mud puddles. Perhaps this weekend I will be able to do some more yard work. I need a long weekend vacation.

Superdaddy's run got cancelled this week again. Sigh. I cannot wait for all of the labor disputes to end so Superdaddy can get a full paycheck again. The money tree in our yard still has not sprouted despite all of the rain. Must be poor soil or something.

Mothers Day

Hope everyone had a wonderful mother's day. This was the first year on mother's day I haven't had the step-kids around; ironically enough. It was kinda quiet around our house. We did house work because it was pouring outside all day.

Today is beautiful outside today. Probably going to try to do yard work today. In our neighborhood they have a court that will give you tickets and such if your grass is higher than 6 inches and you have "debris" in your yard. We have a "bone" yard of atv parts laying around. I am gonna try to organize it and get the grass cut today. Perhaps I will succeed.

Wrong profession!!

How Much Is Mom Worth? $117,000, Site Says

Working At Home Would Often Add Overtime Pay
POSTED: 10:51 am EDT May 9, 2008

If a stay-at-home mom could be financially compensated, she'd bring home nearly $117,000 a year.

That's according to an annual pre-Mother's Day study released by Salary.com, which studies workplace compensation.

For the past eight years, Salary.com has calculated mothers' market value by studying pay for tasks such as child care and housekeeping.

This year's stay-at-home mom figure is $116,805 per year, while the working mom figure is $68,405. Both are down from last year because of a change in study methodology.
The range of at-home value for a working mother varies from $36,680 to $104,767, according to the site.

The numbers were based on a survey of moms who averaged a 94-hour workweek. If moms were in the workplace, they'd be spending more than half their working hours on overtime.
Salary.com also provides a tool that allows you to calculate the value of the mother in your life and even cut a pretend check for that amount.
Distributed by Internet

This is precisely why PIA can sit on her butt and I have to work. I make less than the "working" mom figure. Like by 1/3!!! I think I should quit my job and start staying at home and collecting.


Happy mothers day to anyone who is a mother, step-mother, grandmother, mother in waiting, mother of an angel. Heck HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE!!

Here we go...

He is home YEAH!

Paycheck Boo! The strike happening has brought him home early. That means half a paycheck.

Maybe today he will fix the light switches or the light fixtures. I have a "honey do" list that is almost 12 inches long.

Another strike :(

His run is affected yet again by striking workers. Well it is not officially affected yet, it will be in the near future. The plant he delivers for walked out today apparently.

I think one of the hardest things I am having to cope with currently is not enough time. Superdaddy is home on the weekends most weekends and well I have to share him with the kids and errands and such. It sucks. This weekend he had to run up north Friday and come home Saturday evening. My Saturday evening was spent a the skating rink with my girl scout troop. We were like breezes passing in the night. Sunday we had house chores and outdoor chores to do and then just like that he was gone again.

I hate the fact that there are things that need to be done around the house and he is not around to help out. Like the hall light switch needs to be replaced, the bedroom light fixtures need to be replaced, the kitchen ceiling fan, the screen door. Sheesh I guess it sounds like our home is falling apart. I guess I should enroll in the Home depo do it "herself" classes.

I have spent quite a lot of time on the subject of PIA lately. Sorry you guys have heard so much about her. I cannot believe I have allowed her to bring out a whole wrath of anger in myself. We have not seen the girls since March when I took the girl scouts to camp. It has been 4 weeks since I seen them, 6 weeks since Superdaddy seen them. I have a feeling since his mother is talking to PIA again, the visits will get spaced further and further apart until the courts have to step in again. Maybe since she got the tax refund, she will have enough money to buy their love for a few weeks and she will lay off.

Here is to a better week.

Baby Mamma Drama

Things should start looking up from here on out. We bought a used van this weekend. Another gas guzzler I'm afraid. It is in great shape for being 18 years old. Barney will be going to the shop Thursday to get its oil pump changed by our son and his auto shop class. Mom found a reasonable car that she got this weekend as well. Everyone has wheels now YEAH!!!

PIA she really is something else. I told Superdaddy he should have been slapped just for thinking about screwing her. I have decided she is like a herpe's sore. Not pretty to look at, causes a bunch of pain and aggravation, can screw up a good weekend let alone a steamy dream, and well lets face it, THERE IS NO CURE!! All I want to know is how much money does it take to buy two little girl's love? PIA is living fat at the moment and we are eating mac n cheese and hot dogs again; SIGH. And she is taking Superdaddy back to court for more money. Love does not provide for children now a days, and well all she has to offer is love and Superdaddy's money because she will not get a job.

New friend from a while ago and her hubby and kid came by last week to visit. Her hubby was trying to fix barney for us and well tore it apart and then had a temper tantrum and left it in pieces for me (nice friend huh) and well my heart is broken. New Friend or her husband took money out of my purse. Not like it was a lot of money only $8.00 but I cannot trust them in my home again. I hope they at least bought their kid milk with the money and not pills like I know they buy.

Life has me in a holding pattern. Stress has my body in a vice grip.

She is pleased

PIA got the income tax thing she has been waiting for. Probably got her tax rebate as well. Who knows.

Who needs to work? There is welfare!

Someone who does not have a job needs to quit bitching about money and get off her fat ass and get a job. Superdaddy works night and quits driving at like 4 am or so. PIA has the common courtesy to dial up the phone at the butt crack of dawn at 8:30 am and cuss him out about income tax returns. Bitch needs to wait her damn turn and let the IRS have their turn first. She is supposed to get married this weekend, looks like the tax return didn't come in time to pay for the wedding so they may have to postpone it. BUMMER! Bitch needs to get the girls beds before she pays for the wedding.

She told him she is taking him back to court because he has $3,000 in back child support to pay. I told Superdaddy we would fix her ass and quit sending in payments until she drags him back to court so we could have bail money. Just get a money order weekly for his payment and take it with him. If you want things in life and to go places in life you need to work at a job not sit on your ass and collect welfare and child support. Everyone knows, it takes 2 incomes to raise a child (or 4 in her case) and apparently, she doesn't have to work. She must be the exception to the rule.

Goings on

Superdaddy has been getting the run around from work. They bring him home on the weekends and the last two weekends, he has had to fight with dispatch to get home. It would not be a big deal, but last weekend was Girl Scout camp and he was trying to fix barney (which happened on Sunday) and this weekend, he was trying to fix another car for mom to drive (that didn't happen). The blue van not so fixable. It is not the lifters as once thought, it is a rod that threw SHIT!! Just cannot catch a break.

PIA is supposedly getting married this weekend (will believe it when I see it).

It snowed yesterday!! Not enough to stick, but a blizzard none the less. Today, we could use the AC on.

One day at a time!

To my children

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways. And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy!

I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog! There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the D.J. would usually talk over the beginning!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you just couldn't see!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were out of luck when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your behind and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brat!

And we didn't have microwaves if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire! Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

We also played outside and refused to come inside at any time of the year…we fought to stay outside not to stay inside

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You are spoiled. You would not have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

Throw me a life jacket -

I'm drowning!!

It has not quit raining at our home. My van engine took a crap Wednesday before Easter, the Omni still has not ran since we got it. We keep dumping money in it for mom. Hell it practically has been rebuilt under the hood. The whole cooling system, head gasket, valve cover gasket and such. The monster truck Superdaddy got this weekend died on the way home. Simple coil apparently, but still no keys to drive it so we need a locksmith, a windshield, turn signals (they aren't working), tune up, oil change, trans fluid changed. Barney lovingly named because of the size and color has been awesome to us. It has been in a hurricane 3 1/2 years ago, gone to Mt. Rushmore on the family vacation; hell we have doubled the miles on it in 6 1/2 years. I was thinking to myself how impressed I was that it has over 166,000 miles on it and we haven't had any major problems. Then as I pulled into the driveway, the belt started squeaking. Not good, but not bad. The idler tension pulley broke off into the engine and it needs a oil sending unit replaced. Basically Barney is immobile until further notice. If there was a bridge close, and it wasn't raining, and it wasn't 30 degrees, I would jump. I throw in the towel and wave the white surrender flag. I am not coping!!

Not to mention we are going camping with girl scouts this weekend and I need Barney!

Should have stayed in bed

For shits sake I should have stayed in bed. This am I took our dog Killer and our cat to an animal vaccine fair. Things were going swimmingly. Superdaddy went to look at a "beast" of a car he saw on Craig List. It was not as good as the seller made it out to be so Superdaddy talked him down. Great. Saved us $200. The damn thing died in the way home. My cousin was with him when he got it, so said cousin pushed it with his father's beast of a car and his beast over heated. Of course. The car Superdaddy and cousin were fixing for my mom still does not work. They replaced the head gasket, the valve cover gasket, and plugs, wires, distributor. Damn thing turns over just won't start. So after a long cold day outside, causin went home (about 30 miles away or so) and we sat down to eat dinner. Believe it or not, the tire fell off while he was driving his father's truck home. Good thing his parents knew he was coming over to help with the Omni but bad thing it happened to him while he was driving and his parents were out of town. To make matters worse, his folks are the ones that hold grudges and lay blame wherever possible. So, after successfully purchasing another vehicle for my mother, Superdaddy and I to share, the Omni still does not work, the minivan still has a blown engine, and we only have 1 car after all and we are down $700 or so.

The best thing that happened today was we got the vaccines for free.

De'ja' Vu

Last night was a very difficult conversation with Bubba. He told me about a friend of his who he didn't want to converse with on the phone. He wanted to text her. Puzzling I know. She switched schools just before Easter to a neighboring school district. Why did she have to switch, did she move? Nope she got pregnant and baby daddy told his friends she was a whore. That girl is 14 or 15; Bubba's age (same age as I when I got pregnant with Superdaddy's baby way when). My heart hurts just thinking about it. I guess when she told the daddy, he promised her the world and then she was being called these names and well, I hope she smarted up with him.

Continuing letter to past

9th grade, that was a blast. Too bad for Bubba now, I already know the tricks. If mom only knew what I really did when she dropped me off at school, she would kill me. Superdaddy what the hell were we thinking? Your mom/step father would have killed us as well if he ever found out. I guess I don't understand how or why you quit coming around. I know what reason you gave and it makes perfect sense but it still hurt like a bitch. I guess forever meant unless parents interfered.

High school sucked without Superdaddy in it to be honest. When Bubba was conceived, it was even harder. I had to prove to myself that being a teenage mom would be ok and I would not fail like they expected me to. Hell I thought SD and I would stay together until I caught his pecker in another girl. I then wished I hadn't ever told him about the baby and part of me wishes he was not there to share in the birth of Bubba. That was precious time and he didn't deserve to be part of it. Perhaps things would have turned out different who knows. When Bubba had to have surgery, I wish I could have turned back the clock to never tell SD. I was absolutely disgusted that you brought your whore to the hospital with both of you stoned out of your mind to see him. I was there, studying for school finals and you and her were stoned. Proud parent of the year you were. Asshole. Should have clued me in then. Child support was the promise I kept to SD. It has been 14 years with out any financial support. You child knows that. He knows you care for the other kids even your second oldest M who you don't see. I don't regret it other than I could have banked it for Bubba's education. We did just fine without you SD. Your loss not mine. Saturday Bubba's revised birth certificate came in the mail. Saturday was "Adoption Day" at our home. Saturday, you officially were relieved of your "fatherly sperm donor" duties to our child. Saturday you became a no body in our home. I need to thank you for giving me a very handsome heart breaker of a son who will grow up to make some lucky lady very happy one day.

DA Lord have Mercy. I am still very angry at you DA. You were my rock. You helped me to be open and honest with myself. You showed me I mattered. You treated Bubba like your own child. You made a difference in his young life. What the hell happened? I will never forgive Billy and Louie for introducing you to the "ultimate high". I know they didn't put a gun to your head but still. I cannot help but wonder if you hadn't tried it how things would have turned out. You opened my eyes to many wonderful things. For that I am eternally grateful. You let me explore my wants and needs and that is who I am today. I am no longer afraid to try different things. You and I made a beautiful little girl. She was your world. Why did heroin take that away from you and her? I will never understand. Miss J turned 10 last week. I cannot help but remember the night she was born. We barley made it to the hospital. That was one night I know you were stone cold sober. I wish that was enough to help you stay clean but Lord knows it wasn't. When we married, I intended to be married for life not for a while. I am sorry that I was not able to save our marriage. I was not willing to place our family on the back burner to heroin and your addiction. Thank you for our beautiful baby girl. She misses you so much.

To be continued another day.

Happy Easter!

The girls were sick this week. PIA only let them come over Saturday because it was the girl's birthday party. When Superdaddy went over their house on Friday, Miss G was only flushed but she was running around like a mad woman. Miss M was playing possum and clinging for attention to PIA. When PIA is nervous, she runs her mouth and boy does she spill it. For instance, she spilled that her fiancee (they are getting married 4/18 hopefully) does not indeed live in a trailer as she has insisted in the past. His parents own a trailer up north. He does not make $25 an hour driving a box truck he makes $11. She has applied for SSI disability due to a rare liver disease (from taking tyl.enol with codeine as a child) that enables her to sit on her butt because she don't want to work. She is capable of working as her liver is sick just not as sick as her hypocondriact-ness makes it out to be.

Saturday we got the papers in the mail to make Superdaddy official. Heaven forbid something happen to me before my children are old. SD will have to fight Superdaddy to have Bubba. He has not been a father for over 14 years. There has been no contact at all from SD except for an Email on Bubba's birthday since May 4, 2007 and that was a text message to tell me that his grandma died and that in fact was from his wife.

Hope everyone had a blessed Easter.

Karma the Bitch

Today was supposed to be a great day off. Today I had to take Miss J to the doctor. She keeps having sore throats. She will have her tonsils out right after school lets out this year. On the way to pick Chicky up from school, the car started making this "noise". One I have never heard before. Great I was thinking. I forgot to check the oil. No dice, I dumped 2 quarts of oil in and it is successfully 1.5 quarts too much. Seems I blew a rod or better yet a lifter. Karma the bitch bit me for all the evil things I have said about PIA and MIL this past week.

Since mom's truck got jacked, she has used Superdaddy's van. Now my van is shot. Looks like I better get better walking shoes and learn to car pool. Good thing the white fluffy cold stuff is going away soon. May have to jump my fat ass on a bicycle and loose some weight.

Look Out!

This weekend found me keeled over in bed with the flu. Friday was Miss J's birthday. She is a whopping 10. Where has the time gone? I will dedicate a post to her tomorrow. And then today is Miss G's birthday. She will have her own post on Tuesday.

As predicted by my crystal ball, PIA did the most foolish; ignorant thing this weekend. Remember last Sunday Miss S came over? Remember Superdaddy seen PIA's truck in MIL's driveway? This weekend PIA had Miss G's birthday sleepover. She had Miss J and Chicky spend the night. When I picked them up PIA stopped me at the door and told me how horrible Miss J was. How absolutely disrespectful she was and how she was a big ass liar. I was so shocked to say the least. Miss M and Chicky were so happy that Miss S was there. I didn't see her though. Through talking on the way home, it was revealed MIL was there for the party and what not. She had heart failure because Miss S was at our home and the bitch had my husband's family at her home for G's birthday. Had I known MIL would be there, my girls would not have gone there. In fact, I have decided, that PIA and MIL will not be around my girls at all. Superdaddy needs to try to get the kids away from her. She has taught them to lie and be deceitful; exactly the kind of people this country needs for the future.

Whole family again!!

For about 5 hours Sunday, our family was whole once again. Now to find the underlying cause of the "wholeness".

MIL allowed Miss S to come over and visit. She spend a great deal of time with Superdaddy being that he just got home Sunday morning. It was a blessing. When she was playing with the girls, Miss G decided to call PIA from S's phone. That sent off the PIA tornado. We will have to wait and see what the near future holds. I took the girls home while Superdaddy stayed with S and the kids. In turn, when Superdaddy took Miss S home, it appeared PIA was parked in MIL's driveway. What kind of shit is that? Calling him going off on him about S being at the house around her kids. WTF? I guess Let the games begin.

Superdaddy went to his brother's house yesterday to talk to him. I guess the house is hit. The fire tried to go to the garage but somehow managed to spare it. Superdaddy bought a snowmobile from him and a power washer from him. That power washer looks powerful enough to spray the concrete off the ground.

Miss J turns 10 Friday and Miss G; 9 on Monday. Drama sucks!!

When it rains.......

SHIT!!!!!

It appears my BIL's house had a fire. Found a posting in Craigs list. UGGG!!

This is the middle brother not the one who hit my friends car. :(

It's Not His Job Anymore!!

Superdaddy is obviously a truck driver. American Axel is on strike for about a week now. My uncle works there. They supply GM with a lot of parts. Superdaddy delivers to GM. You see where this is going. They cancelled his load for tomorrow which means he came home last night. YEAH!!. They want to send him to Kansas City today. If they send him out he will not be home this weekend :(

PIA really is something else. Get this. In Michigan we got a pretty significant snow storm dumping 5 inches in our neck of the woods. Nothing compared to St. Louis' 10 inches. She had the balls to call Superdaddy yesterday. She wanted to know if he was in town. Why you ask? She needed her snow shoveled. She has 4 children (17 year old boy, 15 year old girl, 9 year old girl, 6 year old girl). What is wrong with them helping shovel? First born has a syndrome that if he over exerts himself, he will have heart problems. What is over exertion? Playing basketball? He does. He plays for the local parks and recreation, the y and the school. Why can't he shovel snow? What about 2nd born? She is a princess who expects everyone to take care of her. She refuses to help her mom. I guess my point is, IT IS NOT HIS JOB TO TAKE CARE OF HER ANYMORE!! THEY ARE DIVORCED!!

Ignorance drives me crazy

People think that February 28 must mean March 7 or something. PIA placed a cookie order and guess what? THERE ARE NO MORE COOKIES!! I have a "leader" that thinks she can turn in her money on March 7 instead of February 28 because she was out of town. The check for $9551.52 is going to bounce tomorrow if the 3 parents that have not paid yet do not pay. What the hell is wrong with people now a days? You took the damn cookies and collected the money PAY UP!! It is not my fault you spent the money, or was out of town. I paid mine on time people!!

Superdaddy decided to jump off the deep end and got another quad on Ebay. He is supposed to pick it up this weekend or next. Then his friend that used to drive at the same company as he did called today and is selling his quad. You guessed it. We have to come up with $395 for the one off of ebay and another $500 from his friend. Plus the down payment for the 5 acres of land that has to be paid by March 15 (another $500). The money tree we planted when we moved into the house still has not sprouted at our house (poor soil I'm guessing seeing how we are drowning in rain lately).

I wish the IRS would just look at our return and tell us how much PIA gets and how much we are not getting back that way we could just juggle a little bit. Money stresses me out to no end.

Closure

It is with heavy heart that I tell everyone that our pastor appreciated all of your prayers. It was the Lord's will to have his son join him as he walks in heaven. Today I ask you to pray for comfort and peace during this Lent for Pastor Roger and Mrs. Besty as they celebrate Gioseph's life and mourn their earthly loss.

RIP Gioseph; You are missed every day by your parents, siblings, and wife. God Bless and Keep you.