Weekend reflection

This weekend was very nice. Superdaddy went up north on Saturday and I had some quality time with the girls. The neighborhood bowling alley had kids bowl free for 3 games on Saturday and shoes $ .99. How cool was that. They even had hot dogs and soda's for $ .99 as well. CHEAP DATE!!

Superdaddy has not been able to contact C. Even his cousin who told us what has been going on with her cannot locate her. I guess they moved again or something. This weekend is a family camp with the church so the kids and I will be going there and Superdaddy has to work. Perhaps Saturday when he comes home, either he can drive up to try to find C or come up to camp with us. We will have to wait and see. I should have some really cool pics to post from camping after next weekend. They have a Children's wish club that pays to come launch hot air balloon's from the campground this weekend. It was a lot of fun last year should be a lot of fun this year as well.

On another note, a family from our church shared some information that I would like to pass along. If you know someone in your area that could benefit from it please pass it along as well. This is the link to food assistance. It is available in many states. If your family could benefit, you contact your local church, pay $25 and get double the amount of food. There is a menu on that site that shows what they give you. There are no "requirements" for income or family size or such. They even take Food Stamp EBT assistance.

Hope every one's weekend was blessed and peaceful. Here's to another busy week. I think I am going to follow Amy's lead and try the Flylady approach to getting organized. Will have to get snapping on it.

Sincere Apology

I do apologize for any offence I may have caused by my post on Thursday due to content or language. Some things are said out of frustration and could be offensive. These are things that are going through my head and would have been written in my private journal if I had one. For my foul language; I apologize.

Things have been worse and I know that. I know things have come a long way since then, and things can go South quickly. Things are looking up.

We still do not know if C will be coming to stay with us or not. Superdaddy needs to talk to them and find out what is going on. We are just taking one day at a time.

Fun test courtsey of Snickollet

WTF NEXT???

WTF is going on in today's world? WTF is a person like me supposed to do? WFT? WFT?

To hell in a hand basket is where my life is going. Something has got to give. I am afraid to ask what next. When Superdaddys father was in town a couple weeks back, we went out to dinner with him and got some insight about one of his children.

Superdaddy's mom has 3 kids; SD, J, and P. Superdaddy's dad has 7 kids: Superdaddy, J, P, D, M, J, C. A while back, D & M got into trouble with their mother and with the law and we had to go "rescue" them. They stayed with us even though things were not well with us financially. Hell we lived in a 2 bedroom mobile home with Superdaddy and myself, Bubba, Miss J, D, M, Dog, Cat, and Miss S, Miss G, and Miss M visiting every other weekend and I was pregnant with Chicky. Have I lost anyone yet?

When we moved, D moved in with Superdaddys mom (not D's mom) and shit hit the fan with us. Chicky was born, we didn't have a pot to piss in, and D stole from Superdaddy's business. Big time. M could see the shit D was pulling and pulled away from D. D ended up going into the service as soon as he knew we wouldn't let M get into trouble and such. After P hit my friends car, and that shit hit the fan, M was stuck in the middle. M eventually moved into P's house and we haven't heard much since. Fine and dandy. Things have gotten settled in our cozy 2 bedroom house with 2 basement bedrooms. Somehow or another, C is not doing well. I don't know all the details as of yet, but apparently she contracted lice and her mom's boyfriend went around telling everyone she had lice, and they would not get her treatment for it. She is a teenager and some shit like that could be devastating to any child let alone a teenager. Superdaddy asked that C call him and talk directly. She may end up coming to stay with us for a while until Superdaddy's father can come back to the state. Now what? We are struggling and trying to stay afloat. How the hell are we going to afford another teenager to feed, and clothe, and house? And to think, we talked about having another baby in the near future. Sheesh. My teenager scares the shit out of me and possibly 2 teenagers?!?!?!?

Some people should not be allowed to breed. For shit's sake, the mom has 6 kids, the oldest being almost 21 and the youngest being 3 or so. Why is it that superdaddy has to raise his father's kids? I am tired of being the responsible one. The one to take care of everyone else. The kids' mother thinks when they are 13 or so they can raise themselves. WFT????

Proud of you Bubba

Where to begin. Bubba will be 14 in a little over 2 weeks. Damn that makes me feel old. He has been able to attend 3 summer camps this year with no help from sperm donor. The first was for Youth Leader skills. To help him become more of a leader instead of a follower. The second was for eagle scout specific classes. The third was this week for his troop camping. He has completed his final "eagle required" merit badge. Now all he needs to do is go up a rank (which he is really close to right now) and do an eagle project to benefit the good of someone else.

On family night, my son was asked to come back this week as a CIT. Basically grunt work. He will work his tail off for free as a "councilor in training". He gets to live in "Tent City" something he has wanted since forever; well since as long as I can remember. So this week he embarks on his 4th week of summer camp. Glad this week doesn't cost anything that is for sure.

DQ called Saturday. Apparently her cousin was getting married and she needed us to baby sit. Kills me I tell ya. So on her weekend, the girls came over. Them girls were so disappointed that I didn't take them to family night. DQ said NO they cannot go. We took them fishing on Sunday when we dropped Bubba off. So it looks like potentially, we will have the girls for the next 3 weekends if DQ lets them go on vacation with me and the kids (superdaddy has to work) to South Dakota to see "the faces on the mountain". We will have to see as she told the girls they could go to family night and wouldn't let them. Personally that is what I see happening again. Who knows, maybe I will take them across state lines and leave their sassy mouth's out west. Just kidding. Stay tuned for fishing pictures later today.

The girls fishing on the dock.

Chicky catching mom's favorite kind of fish: GRASS BASS!!

Happy Birthday Superdaddy!

For some reason, yesterday's post did not post?

Happy birthday Superdaddy. Sometimes there just are not enough words to tell you just how special you really are. Though the times have been rough and the road has been long, I love you more and more every single day. I missed spending time with you last night because of going to family night at B. Scout camp. I will make it up to you Friday :)

Dropping like flys

I am so very sorry coworker for your family's loss.

A co-worker has lost a beloved BIL. He was so young and seemed to have suffered a bit at the end. May the Lord's peace envelop and hold your family during this difficult time. You are in our thoughts and prayers today and everyday.

RIP co-worker Brother in Law. God's peace to the family and friends of the dearly departed.

Sometimes one just cannot win

I understand that the way I raise my children is not the way everyone raises their children. I totally understand and appreciate the differences. My children are not used to being outside from the time they wake up til the time they get picked up. When they are outside, 85% of the time either superdaddy or myself are out with them. Not that we don't trust our kids, but lets face it times have changed since we were kids.

NEWS FLASH!
The girls and I talked, apparently, at the substitute babysitters house, they are not allowed inside. Even if it rains. Ok I understand she is just a substitute sitter, and that being outside will not kill my children or cause them emotional scaring. Fine I can deal with that. How would one go about telling a friend of say....15 years, that you don't like the way they treat your children when they are there? I never would even think about doing that to her children. I mean, I pay her to watch them so it helps them out seeing how she is a stay at home mother and I send over food (like 2 boxes of cereal that I know will not get eaten in 5 days and lunch). I seriously am considering withdrawing my children from her home and asking NF to watch them as I know she treats my children better. You read that right NF. WTF?

Confrontation

So the confrontation happened with NF and it actually went better than I anticipated. I only hope she understands that I did it as a friend. Superdaddy and I talked and I told him my concerns. He agreed about my suspicions. He talked to NF hubs and told him what I thought was happening. I had already asked NF if she was using. Long story short, her hubs told her if she was going to use that she would lose me as a friend. She understood. Thursday and Friday at church was much better. She participated and was great with the kids. Thursday I confronted her. Sunday she came over and we rode bikes to church in the park and talked on the way there. Was real nice. Only she knows the truth, but she totally acted normal on Thursday, Friday and Sunday. Heck Saturday, NF and hubs, and the boy came over to barbecue. Things were normal. Perhaps she really was exhausted. Who knows. All I know is that life with an addict suck big time and I certainly hope and pray things work out. One way or another.

Dilemma

So how would one go about telling a "new friend" (NF) that I think NF is full of shit?

Background:
Said NF is actually the wife of superdaddy's friend. She is a nice gal. In recent past, NF was addicted to pain pills. She used to get them from work or something or other. I never allowed myself to become a close friend with her. Being the good mother that I think I am, I kept my distance for a long time. As in almost 5 years. In recent past like 6 months or so, NF confided in me that she is trying to kick habit and make friends and learn to live life without narcotic glasses on. She is trying to learn to enjoy life with the boy being sober.

Not the immediate trusting person I am (had an addicted hubby in past who overdosed and passed away), I kept conversations to telephone; always keeping purse in eye contact with minimal cash and carry as I have been burned in past with ex. NF's hubby is superdaddy's best friend from school. Everyone knows she had a drug problem. They (NF and hubs) have many issue because of drug using and that is really their business. They have a boy now who is almost 3. My children adore him.

Problem:
Recently, they have been going to VBS with the kids and I. Her and I have been talking and haning out somewhat, I have became more of a friend, and less cautious. Monday things were well. The boy had so much fun at church. She was a class helper and seemed to enjoy herself as well. Tuesday, she watched the girls for me while I went to work. When I picked them up, I noticed that her eyes were like watery almost glassy. Like she was high. She got a shower and went to church with us. Well, she was nodding out in church like in the middle of everything. Like eating, and activities. We were painting and she nodded out. Nodding out as in like my ex-POS used to do on heroin. That is really the sickest thing I have ever witnessed in my life and quite frankly, I had flashbacks. I will never forget witnessing that. My stomach churned. I know her choice is not heroin. It is prescription vicoden, zanax, and zoma's. It was still really disturbing to witness. NF claimed it was being exhausted from being up early watching my kids, and going to bed late Monday.

Fast forward to Wednesday. NF called to ask if I can take her boy to church so she can finish cleaning her house. NF told me when she called that her and hubs got into a huge argument about money and her not working. She is a stay at home mom and like most places, the economy sucks and money is tight everywhere. To add to that, the house was messy from her having all the kids there for the day and when I got there to get them, we went right to church. I agreed to take the boy so she can clean up before he got home from work. Her eyes were still kind of watery/glassy.

How do I tell her I think she is full of shit about being exhausted and I think she is using? I think if her hubs was bitching about money and such, she probably took money from the bank for her fix like she has in past. It really isn't my business but I really believe in my heart she has her poker face on and I don't want to play poker. Lets face it, I am constantly busy with life, work, kids, single parenting, church, scouts and I don't nod out or have glassy eyes when I am exhausted. There is always something to do and never enough time. I don't want to be around someone who is using. Nor do I want my kids around it.

DQ does it again

Ya know what really pisses a step-mom off? A DQ who tries to bribe her child. You heard me right. BRIBE her child!

So the girls were supposed to come on Sunday and DQ decided to keep them until Monday night. The girls will have to miss a day of VBS (Vacation bible school). She told us she was taking the girls to work on Monday that is why they couldn't come Sunday. Whatever. So she calls and tells me she has to pick the girls up then bring them over. I thought they went to work with her? Lying bitch.

So she pulls up in my drive and Miss G comes in all smiles and hugs and such. Miss M however is crying yet again. She tells her while I am standing there that when she comes home she will take her to get ice cream. She tells her if daddy doesn't want her over, she will come pick her back up. Like superdaddy don't want to see his kids. She tells her call me later and I will come back to pick you up if you want. DQ tells Miss M she misses her too much when she is not there. Once Miss M is at our house she is just fine. There is no more crying after the first night. It amazes me how much of a basket case she has made Miss M she is 6. Rather pathetic that DQ is so dependent on a 6 year old's feeling sorry for her mom.

See Miss G has always been a daddy's girl and Miss M has always been a mamma's girl. Fine and dandy, but for crying out loud, you should not use your children as pawns in your pathetic life. Especially as emotional weapons.

Happy Anniversary Baby!

Two years ago today, I married my best friend. We started sharing our lives together as a family and created a new family for the children. I love you more today than I did 2 years ago. Happy anniversary baby!

Goodbye my friends mom

I just found out about a death that is really hard to swallow. A childhood friend of mine her mother died last week. I found out about it last night and I totally missed the service. I guess the hard part about it all is that she wasn't very close to her mom. Her dad either for that matter. Her mom was sick for as long as I could remember. Some days, her mom was better than others depending on her medication. We used to curse her mom when she was off her meds. Her mom was one of the sweetest ladies around when she was on her meds. Though I have lost touch with my friend over the last 7 years or so, I think about her often and drive by her house more often. She is in my thoughts as is her dad. May her mom rest in peace and be my friends angel from above watching over her as she begins this difficult journey without her beloved mother. My friend, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Best Hubby around

Can I just brag about my hubby for one second?

This weekend was sort of rough at first but turned out to be wonderful. He had to work for like 80% of it. When he was tired and cranky, he found a way to fix my vehicle. The back door has been stuck for quite a while and would not open. He went out there and took out some aggression (i assume) by beating the hell out of it and VWALLA.....IT OPENS NOW!!

Thanks Superdaddy. Like you didn't have anything better to do :)

Nice Weekend

I sure hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. Ours started out a little rough with Miss M not wanting to be there but turned out to be so much fun. I think the girls were glad to have some quality time with me and daddy all to themselves.

Friday was sort of quiet. My mom took us to Chinese food after work and well, it was nice that is until supermommy decided to be an ass of sorts. After we ate, I was messing around with the water glasses and made what looked like c0ke with soy sauce and sugar and water. Don't ask. We had a good laugh. Miss G wanted to try a sip and convinced me to bottle it in our pop bottle and take it to bubba. Anyways it was fun. When we got home, I had the girls help with laundry and such.

Saturday, was some of the most childish fun I have had in a long time. Unbelievable. We picked mulberries. They are in our front yard and we got a huge mess. See below for details.

It started innocently like this...

And turned into a little juicy fun.A little more...And look out mamma this was fun...

My mom took us to lunch after we cleaned up and well, brilliant ass mom made another wonderful concoction. I can't wait for the girls to tell DQ what we do at restaurants. We took a glass with ice and added salt, pepper, seasoning salt, mustard, ketchup, french fries, soda from all our glasses. The girls were impressed it looked like salad dressing. Don't ask. Then we went bowling on some free passes my mom picked up: THANKS MOM! Talk about a blast. The girls, my mom and I were not doing so hot bowling. So we spiced it up some. I think the folks next to us were a little frustrated and probably embarrassed by us but never the less it was so much fun. See below.

Back to the asses at the bowling alley. I am so surprised the people next to us didn't ask us to leave. But boy did we have lots of fun.

The end result....WE ALL SUCKED AT BOWLING but we had so much fun!!

Sunday Miss M wanted to go with me to take Bubba to camp. Surprised Miss G wanted to stay home seeing how Miss M was crying for Dad and DQ on Thursday. See ya on Saturday Bubba!

Aparently neither do they

I just don't get it. Perhaps I never will. The girls were dropped off last night. Fine and dandy. They went to play with my girls (who by the way are up north) and came back looking for them. I told them the girls with with grandma. Well low and behold, Miss M was in hysterics she didn't want to be at our house. She was crying so bad, she could not catch her breath. She called DQ and told her she wanted to go home. DQ didn't answer the phone though or call back.

I don't know really what she puts in the girls' heads but it seems like Miss M is getting more and more emotional about everything. She is starting to be a basket case.

Today Bubba is babysitting and all seems well. Last night, Miss M was determined she was not going to bed she was going home. It was a very long night. She even talked to superdaddy and everything but nothing seemed to make it better. Hopefully, she will be ok tonight. Superdaddy is going to be in Pennsylvania for a trainers meeting of some sort and then come home Saturday night. I need a vacation!!!

I just don't wanna anymore

Any of my RLF can tell ya that I am all about my kids. If my kids can't do it than more than likely, I will not do it as well. I am and have always been the responsible one. The one to just do it. I just don't want to. I lost a lot of friends (or so called) because I choose not to do something because of the kids. That was my choice. I still am like it. Bet you think you know where this is going...WRONG

I am tired of always being the responsible one. I know I choose that path the minute I choose to have children. And just think, superdaddyof6 and I are considering another in the near future. I am tired of being a door mat. Tired of being a built in babysitter. This weekend, superdaddy is working until late Saturday and it really is not our weekend. Fine and dandy. Miss J and Chicky are up north with my grandparents until July 4. Bubba is going to camp Sunday. Get my drift. I am almost kid less. Free to do grown up stuff. That is until yesterday. DQ supposedly is having a big dinner party at work that she has to cook all the food for. Like Cater. And "the little ones" are in her way. Little ones are 8 and 6 and love to help in the kitchen anyway they can if you let them. Superdaddy said she wanted them to come last night. Never mind I have to work and he is in Pennsylvania. She just doesn't give a shit that she is inconveniencing someone.

Now don't think I am complaining about having some quality time with just my step-girls. That is not it. I love when they visit. I was just looking forward to "spring cleaning" their bedroom of some toys and such this weekend and they will be garbage picking. That and the fact that DQ has caused me more than one headache in the past and she thinks I am the drop in babysitter.

That is what I don't wanna anymore.

HUMMPPPHHH!!

Happy Birthday Miss M!

Geeshh, where has the time gone? Happy 6th Birthday Miss M! I remember the day when I first met you. You were just under 18 months. You could barely keep up with the older girls. You tried your hardest to run after them. I had to get on them to slow down so you could keep up when playing tag. As you grew older, you grew up. You are growing into a beautiful young lady. You are getting so big and so smart.

As far as you remember, I have always been a part of your life and for that I am greatful. Your mom and dad love you with all of their hearts and noone can take that away from you or them. Your parents are wonderful and have done a great job with you and your sister. Just remember, though you are my step-daughter, I will always love you and your sisters as though you were my own children. Just remember beautiful, you will always be my giggle butt. Happy birthday Miss M and thank you for sharing your happy birthday day with me your step-mother. Love you - Your Step-mom.

Not a good way to start the day

Argggg That is all I can say. Supperdaddy went to leave for work this morning and damn it someone broke into the vehicles and stole his laptop bag with laptop in it, his Cobra CB radio, Booster antenna, MP3 player, DVD player, and cell phone charger. They left his damn log book and training manual that was in the bag for Christ sake. The laptop isn't even paid off yet :(

So I am awake at 6 am to a not so happy superdaddy bitching about not finding his bag. FUN TIMES I TELL YA.

So now, I am no so patiently waiting for the police to show up. ARGGGG


On another note, today bubba is making his confirmation at Church. He has worked long and hard and has finally made it. He just came home from leader training with scouts yesterday and boy was he whipped.

Happy Summer Solstice to all

Just thought I would wish everyone a Happy Summer Solstice to everyone out there who celebrates and who doesn't. This is the longest day of sunlight in the northern hemisphere.

The difference in 10 years......
10 years ago today was a Saturday, it was my first wedding. Since that day, my ex-hubby is dead, his mom is dead, my aunt who I got married in her yard is dead, my other aunt is dead, his grandma and grandpa are dead, my father, his wife, my grandma's cousin they are all dead. I have a picture in my first wedding album that has me and many angel's in it. They have since gone to heaven or Mt. Olive as my ex would have claimed.

Wow 10 years already.