What now???

Things have been going lately and I am sort of lost. Things are not good, things are not bad, they are just there. Ever felt say...unappreciated, over worked - under paid, like a door mat, or better yet the whipping post?

How does one go about telling someone that their attitude sucks and well it is affecting everyone/thing they are around? Quite frankly, I would rather go anywhere but home some days - most days in fact. It is not that I hate being home so much, it is the fact that I have to see person described above. I cannot avoid them. I am actually getting quite depressed about it.

Superdaddy did quit said job and took a new adventure with OO. Let's pray this will pan out for him. Just one week without a paycheck. Hopefully he gets out the rest of this week otherwise it will be 2 weeks. DQ will end up trying to have him locked up like she did in the past; she pulls that crap to hurt us/me. Especially now that superdaddy and I had that conversation last night about her. Just last night we were chatting about DQ's boyfriend who drives a straight truck. He asked me to give this haz.mat book to DQ if I seen her first. Apparently, DQ got canned from her job so now b/f is only income besides child support. B/f needs this book in the truck with him because if he gets pulled over without it, it is a great big fine. Great...back to the nagging and screaming matches about money and material items again. This happens every time she isn't working. Apparently it is our fault she cannot or chooses not to hold a job. They will have to move again I am sure. DQ and children have lived in 4 houses in a little over 5 years. Heck she lives a better, materialistic life than we do. I mean, we do live within our means (most of the time) where she chooses not to. As stated in the past, we eat powdered mac n cheese and hot dogs a lot where she gets steak and potatoes. We drive used cars, her and b/f have a newer car and a 2007 truck. Unbelievable.

On another note, this last weekend when I was cleaning out mom's garage with her, I ran across a box that was DA's and my stuff. I found some books that I needed for that "toxic" relationship. Brought back a flood of emotions. Some welcome, others not so welcome. This week is especially tough with being the anniversary of my father's passing. I think I need to start reading and moving forward.

This day offers me a chance to make a new start at living. How can I make the best use of it? Courage to change

"God grant me the wisdom to recognize the faults I am building into a wall, such a wall as cannot be penetrated even by love." One day at a time in Al-Anon