Throw me a life jacket -

I'm drowning!!

It has not quit raining at our home. My van engine took a crap Wednesday before Easter, the Omni still has not ran since we got it. We keep dumping money in it for mom. Hell it practically has been rebuilt under the hood. The whole cooling system, head gasket, valve cover gasket and such. The monster truck Superdaddy got this weekend died on the way home. Simple coil apparently, but still no keys to drive it so we need a locksmith, a windshield, turn signals (they aren't working), tune up, oil change, trans fluid changed. Barney lovingly named because of the size and color has been awesome to us. It has been in a hurricane 3 1/2 years ago, gone to Mt. Rushmore on the family vacation; hell we have doubled the miles on it in 6 1/2 years. I was thinking to myself how impressed I was that it has over 166,000 miles on it and we haven't had any major problems. Then as I pulled into the driveway, the belt started squeaking. Not good, but not bad. The idler tension pulley broke off into the engine and it needs a oil sending unit replaced. Basically Barney is immobile until further notice. If there was a bridge close, and it wasn't raining, and it wasn't 30 degrees, I would jump. I throw in the towel and wave the white surrender flag. I am not coping!!

Not to mention we are going camping with girl scouts this weekend and I need Barney!

Should have stayed in bed

For shits sake I should have stayed in bed. This am I took our dog Killer and our cat to an animal vaccine fair. Things were going swimmingly. Superdaddy went to look at a "beast" of a car he saw on Craig List. It was not as good as the seller made it out to be so Superdaddy talked him down. Great. Saved us $200. The damn thing died in the way home. My cousin was with him when he got it, so said cousin pushed it with his father's beast of a car and his beast over heated. Of course. The car Superdaddy and cousin were fixing for my mom still does not work. They replaced the head gasket, the valve cover gasket, and plugs, wires, distributor. Damn thing turns over just won't start. So after a long cold day outside, causin went home (about 30 miles away or so) and we sat down to eat dinner. Believe it or not, the tire fell off while he was driving his father's truck home. Good thing his parents knew he was coming over to help with the Omni but bad thing it happened to him while he was driving and his parents were out of town. To make matters worse, his folks are the ones that hold grudges and lay blame wherever possible. So, after successfully purchasing another vehicle for my mother, Superdaddy and I to share, the Omni still does not work, the minivan still has a blown engine, and we only have 1 car after all and we are down $700 or so.

The best thing that happened today was we got the vaccines for free.

De'ja' Vu

Last night was a very difficult conversation with Bubba. He told me about a friend of his who he didn't want to converse with on the phone. He wanted to text her. Puzzling I know. She switched schools just before Easter to a neighboring school district. Why did she have to switch, did she move? Nope she got pregnant and baby daddy told his friends she was a whore. That girl is 14 or 15; Bubba's age (same age as I when I got pregnant with Superdaddy's baby way when). My heart hurts just thinking about it. I guess when she told the daddy, he promised her the world and then she was being called these names and well, I hope she smarted up with him.

Continuing letter to past

9th grade, that was a blast. Too bad for Bubba now, I already know the tricks. If mom only knew what I really did when she dropped me off at school, she would kill me. Superdaddy what the hell were we thinking? Your mom/step father would have killed us as well if he ever found out. I guess I don't understand how or why you quit coming around. I know what reason you gave and it makes perfect sense but it still hurt like a bitch. I guess forever meant unless parents interfered.

High school sucked without Superdaddy in it to be honest. When Bubba was conceived, it was even harder. I had to prove to myself that being a teenage mom would be ok and I would not fail like they expected me to. Hell I thought SD and I would stay together until I caught his pecker in another girl. I then wished I hadn't ever told him about the baby and part of me wishes he was not there to share in the birth of Bubba. That was precious time and he didn't deserve to be part of it. Perhaps things would have turned out different who knows. When Bubba had to have surgery, I wish I could have turned back the clock to never tell SD. I was absolutely disgusted that you brought your whore to the hospital with both of you stoned out of your mind to see him. I was there, studying for school finals and you and her were stoned. Proud parent of the year you were. Asshole. Should have clued me in then. Child support was the promise I kept to SD. It has been 14 years with out any financial support. You child knows that. He knows you care for the other kids even your second oldest M who you don't see. I don't regret it other than I could have banked it for Bubba's education. We did just fine without you SD. Your loss not mine. Saturday Bubba's revised birth certificate came in the mail. Saturday was "Adoption Day" at our home. Saturday, you officially were relieved of your "fatherly sperm donor" duties to our child. Saturday you became a no body in our home. I need to thank you for giving me a very handsome heart breaker of a son who will grow up to make some lucky lady very happy one day.

DA Lord have Mercy. I am still very angry at you DA. You were my rock. You helped me to be open and honest with myself. You showed me I mattered. You treated Bubba like your own child. You made a difference in his young life. What the hell happened? I will never forgive Billy and Louie for introducing you to the "ultimate high". I know they didn't put a gun to your head but still. I cannot help but wonder if you hadn't tried it how things would have turned out. You opened my eyes to many wonderful things. For that I am eternally grateful. You let me explore my wants and needs and that is who I am today. I am no longer afraid to try different things. You and I made a beautiful little girl. She was your world. Why did heroin take that away from you and her? I will never understand. Miss J turned 10 last week. I cannot help but remember the night she was born. We barley made it to the hospital. That was one night I know you were stone cold sober. I wish that was enough to help you stay clean but Lord knows it wasn't. When we married, I intended to be married for life not for a while. I am sorry that I was not able to save our marriage. I was not willing to place our family on the back burner to heroin and your addiction. Thank you for our beautiful baby girl. She misses you so much.

To be continued another day.

Happy Easter!

The girls were sick this week. PIA only let them come over Saturday because it was the girl's birthday party. When Superdaddy went over their house on Friday, Miss G was only flushed but she was running around like a mad woman. Miss M was playing possum and clinging for attention to PIA. When PIA is nervous, she runs her mouth and boy does she spill it. For instance, she spilled that her fiancee (they are getting married 4/18 hopefully) does not indeed live in a trailer as she has insisted in the past. His parents own a trailer up north. He does not make $25 an hour driving a box truck he makes $11. She has applied for SSI disability due to a rare liver disease (from taking tyl.enol with codeine as a child) that enables her to sit on her butt because she don't want to work. She is capable of working as her liver is sick just not as sick as her hypocondriact-ness makes it out to be.

Saturday we got the papers in the mail to make Superdaddy official. Heaven forbid something happen to me before my children are old. SD will have to fight Superdaddy to have Bubba. He has not been a father for over 14 years. There has been no contact at all from SD except for an Email on Bubba's birthday since May 4, 2007 and that was a text message to tell me that his grandma died and that in fact was from his wife.

Hope everyone had a blessed Easter.

Karma the Bitch

Today was supposed to be a great day off. Today I had to take Miss J to the doctor. She keeps having sore throats. She will have her tonsils out right after school lets out this year. On the way to pick Chicky up from school, the car started making this "noise". One I have never heard before. Great I was thinking. I forgot to check the oil. No dice, I dumped 2 quarts of oil in and it is successfully 1.5 quarts too much. Seems I blew a rod or better yet a lifter. Karma the bitch bit me for all the evil things I have said about PIA and MIL this past week.

Since mom's truck got jacked, she has used Superdaddy's van. Now my van is shot. Looks like I better get better walking shoes and learn to car pool. Good thing the white fluffy cold stuff is going away soon. May have to jump my fat ass on a bicycle and loose some weight.

Look Out!

This weekend found me keeled over in bed with the flu. Friday was Miss J's birthday. She is a whopping 10. Where has the time gone? I will dedicate a post to her tomorrow. And then today is Miss G's birthday. She will have her own post on Tuesday.

As predicted by my crystal ball, PIA did the most foolish; ignorant thing this weekend. Remember last Sunday Miss S came over? Remember Superdaddy seen PIA's truck in MIL's driveway? This weekend PIA had Miss G's birthday sleepover. She had Miss J and Chicky spend the night. When I picked them up PIA stopped me at the door and told me how horrible Miss J was. How absolutely disrespectful she was and how she was a big ass liar. I was so shocked to say the least. Miss M and Chicky were so happy that Miss S was there. I didn't see her though. Through talking on the way home, it was revealed MIL was there for the party and what not. She had heart failure because Miss S was at our home and the bitch had my husband's family at her home for G's birthday. Had I known MIL would be there, my girls would not have gone there. In fact, I have decided, that PIA and MIL will not be around my girls at all. Superdaddy needs to try to get the kids away from her. She has taught them to lie and be deceitful; exactly the kind of people this country needs for the future.

Whole family again!!

For about 5 hours Sunday, our family was whole once again. Now to find the underlying cause of the "wholeness".

MIL allowed Miss S to come over and visit. She spend a great deal of time with Superdaddy being that he just got home Sunday morning. It was a blessing. When she was playing with the girls, Miss G decided to call PIA from S's phone. That sent off the PIA tornado. We will have to wait and see what the near future holds. I took the girls home while Superdaddy stayed with S and the kids. In turn, when Superdaddy took Miss S home, it appeared PIA was parked in MIL's driveway. What kind of shit is that? Calling him going off on him about S being at the house around her kids. WTF? I guess Let the games begin.

Superdaddy went to his brother's house yesterday to talk to him. I guess the house is hit. The fire tried to go to the garage but somehow managed to spare it. Superdaddy bought a snowmobile from him and a power washer from him. That power washer looks powerful enough to spray the concrete off the ground.

Miss J turns 10 Friday and Miss G; 9 on Monday. Drama sucks!!

When it rains.......

SHIT!!!!!

It appears my BIL's house had a fire. Found a posting in Craigs list. UGGG!!

This is the middle brother not the one who hit my friends car. :(

It's Not His Job Anymore!!

Superdaddy is obviously a truck driver. American Axel is on strike for about a week now. My uncle works there. They supply GM with a lot of parts. Superdaddy delivers to GM. You see where this is going. They cancelled his load for tomorrow which means he came home last night. YEAH!!. They want to send him to Kansas City today. If they send him out he will not be home this weekend :(

PIA really is something else. Get this. In Michigan we got a pretty significant snow storm dumping 5 inches in our neck of the woods. Nothing compared to St. Louis' 10 inches. She had the balls to call Superdaddy yesterday. She wanted to know if he was in town. Why you ask? She needed her snow shoveled. She has 4 children (17 year old boy, 15 year old girl, 9 year old girl, 6 year old girl). What is wrong with them helping shovel? First born has a syndrome that if he over exerts himself, he will have heart problems. What is over exertion? Playing basketball? He does. He plays for the local parks and recreation, the y and the school. Why can't he shovel snow? What about 2nd born? She is a princess who expects everyone to take care of her. She refuses to help her mom. I guess my point is, IT IS NOT HIS JOB TO TAKE CARE OF HER ANYMORE!! THEY ARE DIVORCED!!

Ignorance drives me crazy

People think that February 28 must mean March 7 or something. PIA placed a cookie order and guess what? THERE ARE NO MORE COOKIES!! I have a "leader" that thinks she can turn in her money on March 7 instead of February 28 because she was out of town. The check for $9551.52 is going to bounce tomorrow if the 3 parents that have not paid yet do not pay. What the hell is wrong with people now a days? You took the damn cookies and collected the money PAY UP!! It is not my fault you spent the money, or was out of town. I paid mine on time people!!

Superdaddy decided to jump off the deep end and got another quad on Ebay. He is supposed to pick it up this weekend or next. Then his friend that used to drive at the same company as he did called today and is selling his quad. You guessed it. We have to come up with $395 for the one off of ebay and another $500 from his friend. Plus the down payment for the 5 acres of land that has to be paid by March 15 (another $500). The money tree we planted when we moved into the house still has not sprouted at our house (poor soil I'm guessing seeing how we are drowning in rain lately).

I wish the IRS would just look at our return and tell us how much PIA gets and how much we are not getting back that way we could just juggle a little bit. Money stresses me out to no end.

Closure

It is with heavy heart that I tell everyone that our pastor appreciated all of your prayers. It was the Lord's will to have his son join him as he walks in heaven. Today I ask you to pray for comfort and peace during this Lent for Pastor Roger and Mrs. Besty as they celebrate Gioseph's life and mourn their earthly loss.

RIP Gioseph; You are missed every day by your parents, siblings, and wife. God Bless and Keep you.