Anxiety my friend

Looks like I'm gonna be a mom again.

Sigh



Superdaddy's little brother will be staying with us for a little while. He wants to go to school and get his diploma and such. He is 18 and I am clueless!!! I have an almost 16 year old. I don't know how I will cope with an 8 year old.

Oh yeah, and his 14 year old sister will be staying with us for the summer. She is the one I wrote about last summer.

Yeah 2 more mouths to feed. 2 more people's laundry. I am not dealing well right now. My anxiety level is beyond peeked.

Belated!!

Things have been chugging along.

Happy belated Mother's day to everyone. Those that have babies, those that have 4 legged babies, those that are desperately trying for babies, those that have angel babies, those that are parents to babies who don't belong to them.

Mother's day was wonderful. I was woken up at 5:30 by a baby Thumper who just wanted to cuddle. Again at 6:30 by Miss G wanting to tell dad Miss J made me breakfast instead of them all making it. Again at 6:45 by Miss M telling on Miss J. Yet again at 6:50 by chicky telling dad that I'm gonna be mad for having eggs and cereal all at once. Yes, my breakfast consisted of:

2 over easy eggs (pink eggs) by Miss G
butchered apple by Miss M
huge glass of cherry Koolaid (yuck) Chicky
Cereal and milk (Miss J)
banana (Miss J)

Lots of blessings. I was blessed beyond belief that after the girls woke me up I got Thumper to sleep with me on the couch for some cuddle time. Slept through church oops. I made home made macaroni & cheese YUM. The girls had to go home at 4:00 pm though.

My grand parents finally made it from Florida for the summer. They have yet to see Thumper until Saturday. I took the girls over to visit them. It was so nice to see them again. Need to get pictures next time. They are getting up there in age.

Burnout!

It has been a long week. Things are status quo around here.

I have been asking myself what the hell did I get myself into? More times this last week than I have I think in my lifetime.

PIA has been letting the kids come over for church during the week. This is great for the kids have been wanting to go to church for the Monday kids program for the last 5 years. Plus midweek services and such. Problem is...I have child burn out. I love the kids dearly with all my heart, I am just burned out.

My girl scout troop is going camping this weekend coming up. I have so much to do to prepare for camp myself and yet I have the kids under foot and I have to pack them for camp too. It is "our" activity so we have to provide the "supplies". Thumper will be joining us for camp as well.

The Circus is coming to town. I don't mean my children will be in town. The Shr.iners have donated 5,000 tickets to this Thursday's circus. I along with hundreds of other Detroiter's braved the cold wind to get 4 free tickets per family. See the logistics. Only 4 tickets. I had to drag my mom's butt out of bed to stand in line with me. We almost got tickets in different areas. Luckily I had the brains to ask if it was seat specific which it was and drag mom's butt to my window to get consecutive seats. Even had to drag Eddie (my babysitter/friend's husband) to my window so we could all sit together.

Bottom line, this was our weekend. Had the kids last week, Friday (scouts), Saturday overnight to Sunday (Miss G came), Monday (church), Wednesday (church), Friday (scouts), Saturday, Sunday, Monday (church), Wednesday (church), Thursday (circus), Friday (scout camp), Saturday (scout camp), Sunday (scout camp), Monday (church play), Thursday (church), Friday (church) in the last 2 weeks. I think she should be paying me child support. Ha Ha!

The issues are still there at home. I think he is ready to bolt. This economy sucks, we are sinking and both tired of not having any money for anything. We still have not celebrated Chicky's birthday, let alone Miss J's or Miss G's birthday. We barely have gas money to get to work this week. I know it is ever where and I apologize for making it my "pity potty". It just sucks.

Parenting teenagers suck....Parenting pre-teen's sucks even more. Reality vs Fantasy. The lies the children come up with. The rooms that never see clean floors. The dressers that remain empty even after laundry has been done. Oye.

Just another day in Paradise.

revelation!

According to myspace.....
PIA got a new home Im so happy moving is all done life for me is going ok !!!

This is our weekend. Guess who is not here??? Looks like it is back to playing games again. And she will pay the piper one day soon enough.

To think she accused us of taking away from her girls when we decided to have another baby. She is taking away from her own kids by playing her games. We were gonna go xmas shopping with the kids this weekend to have them buy for everyone on their lists. HAHA!!

Stars aligning

Things are happening in my life right now. Some major things. Some not so major. Just the beginning of the month I was stressed to the max. Things were not moving in the right direction. Though things still are not where I want them to be, they are going there slowly.

My dryer died. As in 3 towels and 1 pair of pants in 4 hours were still not dried. My washer will only hold a half a load to wash. Spending $30 at the laundry matt on Saturday was not fun. Neither was the 3 hours with 3 little girls. One whom I noticed was scratching her head a lot. Not mine though yet. Have to be on the look out for head friends again Uggg. No more friends spending the night for a while I think.

Having to pay all the back child support in 30 days or less is hurting. It makes for small grocery shopping bills and only necessities. No more buying school lunches.

Spending a large amount of money on a present and the very next week getting a $591.84 shut off notice on my electric bill.

Our church had backpacks for our low income preschool program at the church. My girls asked to get one. We ended up with 2 one for each girl. Somehow, we managed to get them filled with the proper stuff under $20 each! The lady who does the baptismal banners at church informed the pastor she was unable to do them anymore. She nominated me to do them. I do not have a sewing machine and have used my mother's for the things I have made. Looks like the church will let me use one of their sewing machines.

We got a letter from school last week. Someone put our family's name in to get winter coats and boots for the kids in the schools. Bubba, Miss J and Chicky will have new coats and boots.

Perhaps the stars are aligning for us for a little while. Things are looking up in His time frame not mine.

Recap!

Bubba completed his eagle scout project. Now has to deliver and fill out rest of paperwork and get it signed off. Very quiet weekend. No step kids. Imagine that. She will not let the courts dictate when he can see the kids. She will let him see her kids when she feels like letting him see the kids. Her birthday is Thursday. My guess is she will drop them off Friday so she can go to the bar for the weekend to spend her hard earned child support money.

I think this will be a fine weekend to make ourselves unavailable seeing how every other weekend from last weekend forward will make him free for opening gun season for hunting.

Dear ex-father in law passed away Monday. Not that i am part of the family or anything anymore, but my ex's best friend called me to let me know on Friday so I could take the kids and go pay our respects. DA's sister spent exactly 2 hours with Miss J out of the days she was here. Arriving Friday evening...staying until Monday morning. Lots of quality time. Would think the only thing she had left of her brother would mean more to her than 2 hours. O'well her loss.

Hope every ones weekend was a good one. Had to train the new girl at work this week. She will replace me when I take my baby leave. Too bad my job includes use of a computer and well, she doesn't have one yet or a phone. What is a secretary to do? Put the new girl to work cleaning out the supply closet I tell ya. Fun Fun!

Baby Thumper

We had our followup ultrasound yesterday. Thumper is a girl. There was no little turtle that we could see. Chicky will have to get used to a baby girl. She had her heart set on a little boy. Her and I both. After our first sonogram, i kind of warmed myself up to the idea of a girl. I had really no choice did I? It took a few weeks. Yesterday when she said well for sure I do not see a turtle I didn't cry like i did the first time.

Her baby finally came home Saturday and he is so cute. Tiny little pumpkin of their family. All of our prayers and good thoughts for their family sure had a positive outcome (thank God).

I wish fall weather would come and stay. Last weekend the kids were wearing shorts, today it is 45 degrees sheesh.

Remember beginning of September I told you about child services coming to the house? She has not called or let the kids come by since then. Not even looking for money. I think she might have gotten herself in trouble inadvertently by calling trying to get us in trouble. Hope she bit off more than her mouth could chew.

Anyways, does anyone know how to get rid of a creek in the muscle under a shoulder blade? Mine is killing me for almost a week now. HELP!

Many thanks

Prayers or good vibes did the trick. The kids get to stay. HAHA! The wench PIA called child (CPS) services on us and opened a case against us. They left a calling card on Wednesday. Unfortunately my coworker had Thursday, Friday and Monday off due to her kid having surgery. They came out this am. Investigated and left. They were going to talk to the children. Who knows if and when we will hear back from him.

I absolutely hate her more. They didn't tell us who called exactly, but things they said and accused were only her or her mother. Miss G dropped a brick on her toe on September 1. The guy asked about it. They asked about no food in the house, dirty living conditions, dirty clothes, baths. All were of course invalid. Hopefully they will go check her home out.

NEWSFLASH! The girls still have no beds at her house! What comes around goes around. Wonder if she shot herself in the foot by calling on our home. Now her home will be investigated as well (or so he told us).

I would never wish CPS on anyone. I haven't slept in 3 days. Dear Lord, I need a vacation!

Summer is over :(

Sure was nice to get out of the city for the holiday weekend. Next time, remind me to leave mother at home. She is going to cause me to have a stroke. I actually told her I was gonna leave her on I-75 if she didn't quit yelling at me about other drivers.

Today has been relatively quiet except for the ever so persistent mother hanging up the phone on me. My stress levels are through the roof. I actually think my blood pressure is up.

We told Miss G about the baby. She was so excited, telling everyone who would listen. Miss M didn't come camping. Apparently she was promised other things. Perhaps the second pair of gym shoes is what she was promised. Miss M got 2 brand spanking new pair of gym shoes. Miss G has Zero. Her PIA mother didn't think to get her a pair I guess.

Superdad confronted PIA about her moving yet again after we got home from camp. She tried to block my car in so Superdaddy couldn't leave. She was screaming and yelling to the point that Miss G didn't want to go anywhere with her mom. She wanting nothing to do with her and proceeded to tell Superdad that mom was acting a fool because she heard we were having another baby. Miss G got hysterical when he made her go with PIA after they went shopping to get gym shoes.

Than she demanded to know where Miss G's gym shoes were. She only asked for backpacks. The girls were scared to death they wouldn't have pencils for school. We provided them as well; and a few shirts. The wonderful mother they have been born to was less than appreciative of the book bags and such. She wanted shoes. Why did she get one 2 pairs and the other none?

How can parent's treat their children so different when they born them all? How can you possibly treat one like shit and one like a prince/princess? The reason the girls have both said is simply this: WELL MISS G LOOKS JUST LIKE DAD AND MISS M LOOKS JUST LIKE MOM. Tell me now, didn't she love Superdaddy at one time? What is wrong with her one child looking like him? Jealousy is UGLY!

Hellofa Weekend

Where to begin...

Saturday we had a birthday party to go to for my aunt's father. Superdaddy found a truck to look at on line so we drove an hour away to look at said truck. The truck was perfect. We bought it, was 2 miles from the guys home and the damn thing broke down. Had to get the guy and return it to him. Poor guy has a broken down truck now. Was late to the party but things were ok.

Had to go to graduation party immediately after. Was sort of fun. Didn't hardly know anyone and to be quite frank, I was tired. We didn't stay long.

Bubba asked if he could stay the night at aunt's house. They said it was ok. We let him stay. Got a call around 2:30 am. Had to go pick him up. Why? Him and another child decided to go get a Slurpee and got stopped by police. Busted curfew and got themselves a big ass $125 ticket. My aunt and uncle were pissed. The child is lucky he is alive today. Trust me on that one.

Sunday the kids went to church with my mom and I was gonna stay home and get some much needed sleep. Didn't happen. We went to get Superdaddy's glasses fixed...my car broke down. Much to be said, should have went to church.

Yesterday was ready to go back to work. End of day bout 4:00 my mom calls me to tell me my cousin's kid beaned Chicky in head with wooden baseball bat on accident. She had a golf ball size lump on her forehead. Irony...they were playing golf with tennis ball and baseball bat. Cousin's kid told my mom she walked into the bat. Yeah.

This weekend we are heading to the sticks for some much needed R&R. Hopefully the girls will come early so we can get a jump start on the drive.

My friend Sarah had a terrible weekend and my heart breaks for her. She lost her baby to a miscarriage. She is heart broken.

Camie, I am planning on looking through my baby stuff to see what I need to get. I appreciate your offer and maybe taking you up on it. I will let you know.

Hope everyone has a fabulous week and weekend.

Life

We had a great time camping. The girls were awesome. Bubba well he was himself. Didn't see much of him actually. The balloons were a no show so that was a wee bit disappointing. It pored Saturday on us. Sunday was time to leave to go to a family reunion. While in the process of dismantling camp, a tent blew away. Guess who went chasing it and ended up "slip n slimming"? You guessed it was me. Fell square on my rear end in a big puddle of slimy mud. My only pair of pants and sweatshirt was full of mud. All in all, I knew I was doomed to fall so I made sure the fall happened on my extra cushion. We plan on telling the girls about Thumper Labor Day weekend that way PIA will still let them go camping.

Seems the girls have not been home in a while. I guess her mother is sick so they are staying there. The vacation that she supposedly took the girls on was a lie. They never went to the bridge for a week, nor did they go to Frankenmuth with papa on Superdaddy's birthday. They went to a carnival. Papa was driving, mom in front seat, and Nana, Sister A, Miss G, and Miss M were smashed in Nana's back seat. There was not enough belts for them to be buckled, so they didn't. Where are the cops when you need them. She still won't put Miss M in a booster seat as required by law.

Her baby seems to be holding his own today. He is one strong little guy that is for sure.

Ramblings

Her baby is pretty sick again. She is not coping very well and to be honest my heart is breaking. I wish there was something I could do to help her out. Please send her your warm thoughts as she and her family struggle with their boy being so far away and being so sick.

Yesterday was my 16 week dr. appointment. Things are going swimmingly. I seem to have gained 5.6 lbs in 4 weeks after loosing 2 lbs the 4 weeks prior to that. Total of 4.6 lbs I guess. I have my ultrasound on August 18. Hoping to find external plumbing on Thumper of course. If there is no plumbing we will be overjoyed as well. They had a real difficult time finding Thumper's heartbeat. They looked for almost 3 minutes and just when I was starting to panic, they found it.

We still have not heard from the detective about Bubba. Tomorrow is 4 weeks since he took the poly test. I wonder if we have to keep waiting. I am too scared to call the detective and inquire though. All i know is that i feel terrible Bubba is still grounded and has been since June 10. His whole summer is basically history. I have been looking into doing school of choice for him next year. The problem I am having is transportation to get him there.

I don't think I ever shared a picture of my new ride. Though it is used (and abused) it is still new to me.

Back from the Sticks

Our weekend was pretty much a bust. Very quiet, but very much spent in a hot van. Saturday we picked Bubba up from scout camp and headed up north almost to the bridge. Superdaddy was very thoughtful and picked me up a very cool birthday present. Too bad it is of no use to me this year as I cannot ride it until after Thumper is born. He got me a quad. Needs new plastics desperately, but heck I am spoiled it has no clutch and an electric start!! Leaving the house to go to scout camp is like an hour and 15 minutes away. Then heading up I-75 for another 275 miles. Then turning around and heading back down 75 for 50 miles than across the state for another 2 hours and then back down state another 90 minutes. Just in time for dinner, campfire and bed. After breakfast, Superdaddy took the quad for a spin. Runs nice. He even let me spin it around the acres for exactly 2 minutes or so (one time around the track) and then booted me off so we could take the kiddo's to the beach before heading home the 4 hours it takes us. All in all not a total bust, but it sure did suck to have to drive and keep driving.

To get home and see a jack stand perforate my driveway was so not cool. Mom's car broke down last week. It was at a store parking lot for 4 days or so and we were panicking about police towing it so my cousin came down to work on it. Only he had the "roadside assistance" tow it to my home instead. Somehow in the process, the passenger tire was removed from vehicle and placed in my back seat. The jack stand the car was on went through the parking lot at the store. I have a black top driveway and aforementioned family member had his head up his ya know what and left the damn car on the jack stand in my driveway. Said car and jack stand perforated my driveway and almost slammed the car down on the rotor. So not cool.

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. I have a pic of my new ride on mom's camera. Will try to remember it tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Superdaddy!

Today Superdaddy is an old man!

Today he was supposed to come home at the kids bedtime. Last night he got stuck without a trailer. Today he will not be coming home. To say I am beyond bummed is an understatement. Though he will be home Saturday early afternoon it is not the same. We will be packing tonight to get ready to go up north for the night. He decided I needed a 4 wheeler for my birthday and he found one for an awesome price so he has to go pick it up about an hour from our trailer up north. Too bad I won't be able to ride it for a little while. Hopefully I will have a few pictures to share when we get back.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Cooties!

Seems our home has come down with the cooties. The step kids had head lice, the girls have skirted by that one pfewww.

Bubba has sneezing and headaches.

Superdaddy has yucky belly requiring pepto or the likes of. That really sucks for him on the road.

Chicky had 3 shots yesterday and has a slight fever today; in this hot weather sucks.

I have a huge sinus issue going on. Have used almost a whole box of tissue today alone.

Miss J is the only one who has nothing buy needle phobia going on. She had to get 2 vaccines yesterday and was hysterical when the nurse came in with Chicky's stuff. When her nurse came in the little brat hid in the curtain hanging from the ceiling and told the nurse her name was Emily. Give me a break. She was kicking and screaming hysterically. Chicky was telling her it doesn't hurt and she didn't even cry. Bless her heart; she doesn't know she needs 3 more shots next month.

Have to stop on my way home from VBS and pick up some Lysol or something.

My friend who had her baby too early seems to be doing well. Wee Fox seems to be holding his own. Thank you for sending them positive vibes. Lets hope the little guy continues on the upward slope he is on.

Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Superdaddy. Here is to many more yet to come.

Goings on

I cannot believe my friends little brother graduated high school. We went to his graduation party this weekend. Seems like just yesterday T and D and I were packing up his diaper bag and going to the park. Makes me feel old.

Next week, Bubba will be at scout camp for the week. We plan on going to see him on family night but will have to see.

Superdaddy still has not heard about the job in the sticks. He is less than thrilled about his current situation. In our neck of the woods, the weather has been sort of rainy but hot and humid. His truck has been in to get the air fixed 9 times in the last year. Guess what? OO Took it to a different shop and they fixed it. Only it blows out warm air now instead of no air at all. He has complained about it so much I think OO is tired of hearing about it.

Anyone know of a remedy for TMJ? My jaw is still locked up. It has been locked for almost 9 months or so only unlocking on occasion. It really sucks that I cannot eat a darn peach or apple unless I cut it up. Oh yeah and forget corn on the cob.

Holiday weekend

This holiday weekend was wonderful. Much needed nature time. We saw the most amazing sight. Last time we were there, we seen 2 shooting stars way up in the sky. This time, I seen 1 shooting star way up there and one really close. Like too close for comfort close. It even lasted a long time. There was 6 of us by the fire and we all see it. I swear it was a metiore or something entering the earth. AWESOME!!

The stress leading up to the holiday was killing me. Superdaddy went to the interview. He is waiting for a call back I guess. PIA sent the kids over with head pets so on Sunday night when they were noticed, I was dealing with the lice issue while Superdaddy and Bubba were on the way up north. I did the treatment before they went home yesterday so I can only hope PIA does another treatment next Sunday and gets rid of the "head pets" for good.

Today was the first time I heard the baby heartbeat. It never feels like the other kids did. I cannot wait to get my sugar test results back. I am hoping they come out favorable. Will share pictures tomorrow.

The Sticks

This week has been great having all girls at the house. Sorry Superdaddy and Bubba but it has. We have been getting stuff ready to go to the sticks this weekend. Need to get the heck out of the city. Things have still been status quo on the legal issues. Looks like Wednesday is the day.

Superdaddy has an interview today. Not quite sure exactly how I am feeling about it though. It is up in the sticks. If he gets the job, what does that mean for our family? Well seeing how the sticks are about 4 hours away, he probably will stay up there and try to come home on the weekends. We are finally comfortable financially and how can we afford to run two homes and still have funds to do other things? I guess we will have to wait and see.

Hope everyone has a safe July 4th. Try to stay out of the wicked weather if it is in your area. Be safe; Be blessed.

Status Quoe

Things have settled down for now. Apparently, the police examiner had a "prior commitment" get in the way for the polygraph with Bubba. They called the lawyer to reschedule after the holiday. Though I am happy we can enjoy the holiday; I am pissed that it gets to "hang over" our head a little longer. I wish they would do the test and decide what they were going to do and do it already.

Superdaddy got a call about a job up in the sticks. As he put it, what is the difference being over the road or going local 4 hours from home? We probably will be moving up there within a year. Sure isn't on a mountain in Kentucky as I had wanted, but it is out of the city.

Part of me wants out of the city to never look back, but part of me knows I will miss it. The girls will be the ones to suffer in the short term and benefit in the long run. The ex is gonna blow a gasket when she finds out the plan.

Thanks for the note Amy. It means a lot to me.

Hope everyone has a blessed weekend.