Diary of a Truck driver wife

Pops

2010-09-17T13:57:00.002-05:00

I miss you more today than yesterday. In my heart forever.

Changes

2010-08-23T20:53:00.001-05:00

So much has happened. He is over the road again. I am so lost trying to readjust to him not being home. Sigh

Happy Birthday J!

2010-03-15T14:22:00.003-05:00

So yesterday was Miss J's birthday. She is 12. How did that happen? She was wishing dad was here with her. Of course we know that didn't happen.

We decided to make stuffed peppers and cabbage last night for dinner. Went to save-a-bunch store around the corner. There in the store was Eric and Brit. They are Miss J's nanny's children. They used to live with us when J was a baby. Good Lord they are grown and beautiful as ever. Small talk in the line at the store. Wow.

Taking the step-kids home and I went to K--mart by their house. Guess who was walking out while I was walking in....Anna their mother. Good Lord. Memories flooded with avengance. She is looking good. She had cancer while she lived with us. She was undergoing chemo and sick. When she was sick, I was taking care of her and while I was at work, she helped take care of the kids.

Long story short, she used drugs with my than husband. Complicated relationship we had. All of us had. A fire cracker she was.

She moved out right before my ex-husband went to jail. Ran across Brit on my space a while ago. Kind of looking from afar at the pictures and such. It has been almost 10 years! Still the feelings flood back quickly. Like seeing my high school sweetie (now hubby) for the first time in so long. Some memories so vivid.

Anyways....Then leaving K--mart the song Closer by N I N comes on the radio. My ex-husband's fav song. Tell me she didn't get her birthday wish. To have her dad near by in spirit.

Trust me....he was around.

Life

2010-03-11T14:51:00.003-05:00

Still here...Still hanging on. PIA looks like they bid on a house. One that just might be big enough for the family. She just got word they accepted her bid. Hopefully this will be the very last time they move. The kids are less than thrilled about moving. Problem is that the last 3 houses she said they were buying. That was before her new beau. Speaking of beau...things have been so much more peaceful since they got married. She is still money hungry and trying to milk the rock of more money but all in all things have been so much nicer.

His job has been keeping him out more. For a little bit there, he was doing 2 out of town runs a week.

So back before Christmas, Bubba took our white car and wrapped it around a tree. New years eve he took my moms car and got caught. End of January he took my moms car again and got pulled over yet again. I had to tell the cop to arrest him or write him a ticket. Problem with the ticket is simply he doesn't work and we end up paying the ticket anyways. That sucks. To our knowledge he hasn't done it again. Then again, he snuck out 3 times before. We have been more cautious about leaving our car keys and wallets laying around.

Miss J will be 12 this weekend. Where has the time gone. Thumper is walking. Bubba is alive still (not sure how exactly see above). Miss G will be 11 next week. It amazes me how fast they are all growing up.

Will blog again soon.

Not Coping

2010-01-15T16:51:00.001-05:00

Going through a difficult time. Just not Coping. Why me??

Lord Help Me!

2009-12-23T12:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday started out like any normal day. Running late for work as usual. Ended with a bang. Literally. Bubba (who does not quite have his license yet) took the car out of the driveway and smashed it into a tree. Superdaddy is going to kill him when he gets home and finds out. I haven't told him yet as he is on the road at work and there really is no point in raising his blood pressure unnecessarily.

We are all sick in our house. I haven't had a good night sleep in almost a week.

Christmas is a mere 2 days away. Things are bought, things are ready to be wrapped. There isn't enough time in the day.

God Bless and Merry Christmas to all.

Ugly

2009-12-15T13:48:00.002-05:00

She finally came out that she is addicted. It got really ugly yesterday morning at her house. I am glad I came to drop off Thumper when I did. Things should start looking up from here for her.

Report cards came in. Why oh why is it that if my daughter gets 3 d's you scold her and find reason's she is not getting better grades? ie; babysitting. Why is it that your daughter who lives with PIA is happy she got 3 d's because she needs to try a bit harder you know switching schools again this year. My daughter has a learning disability. And she is lazy. What is your brilliant daughter's excuse? Her mother?

I wish my child could read better. I wish she didn't struggle. I also wish she would put forth half the effort she needs to in order to excel in the subjects she is good at. I wish she wasn't so lazy and had half the effort it needs to get her room cleaned. I also wish your children didn't think of my daughter as their maid. I wish they all would clean the bedroom. I thought splitting the girls up in the room would help. Looks like it hasn't done a darn thing.

Please quit holding the computer chair down and get off your behind and help. The holiday's are going to be hard enough with no money and quite frankly, a mother who is so depressed I cannot see straight. You sitting in the chair yelling about the house not being as tidy as you like it to be is just making it worse. Making me and the children not want to be around. Maybe you and PIA should live together so you can have your tidy house. Lets remember one thing; I have to work outside of my home; away from my children; so your POS ex wife can sit on her rear end and collect welfare and live in a tidy home. So tidy your children didn't get to decorate the tree because she wanted it done her way. So tidy your children's belongings are in storage or tossed out. So tidy your children don't clean up after themselves because she has nothing better to do than to pick up after them.

Maybe I should ask Santa for a maid....maybe I should ask PIA if she wants to come clean my house the way you like it.

Revelation

2009-11-30T10:24:00.002-05:00

So I fell for the pity potty story. So she (see friend below) was wining about not having money for Thanksgiving dinner and they had plans to go to some one's house and that someone got sick. Now they wouldn't have dinner. I took food from my cupboard and gave to them. We were blessed to receive 2 turkeys for our family so I gave her one. I talked to her and asked how her dinner was...They went to parade downtown and then to her neighbor's mother's house for dinner. I asked what about the stuff I gave you on Monday (to ensure the turkey thawed)...She put turkey in freezer for Christmas. I am beyond angry.

I paid her for babysitting Thumper and the bank was closed on Friday and she called me screaming at me about the bank being closed and she has no money and how I screwed her over and I knew the bank was closed.

Give me a break. I am beyond pissed. I think I have to let go of the friendship.

How to help

2009-11-04T14:18:00.003-05:00

I have a friend. She has been my friend since 10th grade. I graduated in 1993. We have been through a lot. Kids, divorces, you name it. She has had a problem in the past with popping pills. I hear through the grapevine she is at it again. Since her mother passed away a little over a year ago, she has burned through her inheritance. She is a SAH mom to two beautiful children. One who is almost 14 and the other who is 9. She got into trouble with the law a few years ago and work. Something about stealing co-pays and flu shots? Not exactly sure though, you know they only tell you what they want to. Personally, I think she did it. She claims her attorney told her to plead guilty for a reduced sentence because she could not prove she was innocent.

She asked me for a pain pill today. I gave her one of Superdaddy's. Her husband called me today. To tell me not to give her the payment for working the fundraiser a few weeks ago because she is burning through money on stupid shit. Like what I asked. PILLS. I was taken this morning. I told her husband I had given her one. He wasn't mad but asked me to not give her anymore. I guess she has been filling his prescription without his knowledge and he has no refills left for his pain pills now and when he needs one he is screwed.

What can I do besides not enable?

Stupid song!

2009-10-26T15:31:00.003-05:00

What the heck is wrong with me? How can a simple song bring back so many vivid memories? Memories of you. Do you have memories? Do the memories make your heart flutter and pulse race?

I regret not keeping in touch with you. Do you regret this too?

I regret not being able to contact you now. How about you?

I regret not trying sooner. ??

So many memories. So hard to explain...until that song. Than it all flooded back in. Your lips, your smell, your tenderness, your forbidden-ness, the secret, the chase, the sneaking around, then the spoiler and surprise.

In a funk

2009-10-13T09:21:00.003-05:00

It has been forever since I updated. Perhaps because I have been slipping into depression. Perhaps it is because everything that has been coming out of my mouth has been negative. Who knows.

Things are moving right along. Everyone in my home is healthy. I keep hearing more and more about the H1 flu and it is pretty scary. I work in health care and they are trying to influence us to get the vaccine. I am still on the edge about it for myself. If i get really sick who will help take care of the kids for me? Weighing the pros and cons of such a decision is taxing on my brain. I will get my flu shot today and probably get the H1 flu shot when it is available. I will not be doing the nasal mist under any circumstances. The shot is dead virus and the spray is live virus. I probably will not vaccinate the kids for either of them. I will only get mine because I need to be well to take care of them if they get sick (and in my job, if we get sick, we could realistically kill someone hence the reason they are pushing the vaccine).

Usually this time of year I have began my holiday shopping. I am so dreading it this year. This year we are pretty broke and we will be making most of the gifts.

Hope everyone is washing their hands and using lysol or sanitizer to stay healthy. Will be back soon.

Venting

2009-08-13T08:54:00.002-05:00

I just don't get it. The economy is pretty crappy and people are, well people are broke. Myself included. I have a baby sitter. She is broke. She is a stay at home mom. I pay her decent money. I provide diapers, wipes, formula, baby food; everything. She is hot to get paid every week. Just the other day she was going on and on about being broke...They bought a fish tank off of Craigs.list for $100 because it was a steal. I cannot afford food and she can buy a fish tank. They just redid the inside of their house. Repainted, ripped out the carpet and put new carpet. In the kitchen, hall and living room put down laminate floor! And again, my freezer echos. She came from living on welfare as a child and not having food for snacks and such. We have canned food, and our church helps with commodit.ies so we don't starve. Our menu consists of a lot of pasta food while they eat steaks and such.

Back to the story...my son's boy scout troop was offered a great opportunity. To work as a not for profit organization and get a fund raising activity. Paying the troop for each person who works $10 an hour for working the festival. On a weekend directing traffic to parking spots! You know the flag people. Apparently this work is above her. Apparently, it makes more sense to complain about being broke and not get off your behind and do something about it. I'm sick and tired of hearing about it already.

Sit on your big behind and eat your steaks while complaining about no money while I work my tail off flagging traffic so my children can eat hot dogs and Ramon noodles and my house doesn't get foreclosed on and my utilities don't get shut off.

Summer

2009-08-03T14:59:00.002-05:00

I cannot wait for school to start! We have had a pretty mild winter thus far. The kids are having a marvelous time and have not killed each other at home. Thumper is growing up so fast. She has 2 teeth with 2 more coming any day now. Things on PIA front have been surprisingly quiet. She keeps pawning the children on us every single chance she gets though. Not too surprising there.

Brother in law and Sister in law are not coming to stay. For sure. BIL tried to fight Superdaddy 2 weekends ago and than disappeared in middle of the night. I assume he went to my other BIL's house. Cannot seem to get Father in law to answer the phone to verify. That is totally OK with me.

I heard through grapevine that min Mother in law lost her home to foreclosure. Due to helping BIL out. Pretty sad. 2 years ago the house was paid for with no mortgage. Now this. I drove by the other day and the yard was EMPTY. Didn't see in the house but there was curtains on the windows.

Have a blessed week. Lord knows I need a vacation!

Peanut News!

2009-07-22T22:18:00.002-05:00

If you are on my face book you know I have a friend who was pregnant and due October. She had her baby Monday at 28w5d. Lil peanut was 2lbs 14oz. She is doing really well from what I gather. She is only on Cpap and a pic line with tube feedings. Mom is doing better. She was not doing so well at birth obviously. They did an emergency c-section. I got to see peanut yesterday after work. She is so tiny. I cannot get over how tiny her head is...about the size of an apple. Today peanut's mom asked me if I was coming to visit. She wanted to know if I wanted to hold the baby. What the heck do you do with a baby so small? I know she won't break but still!!

Her poor daughter is in Ohio and doesn't know yet. I got one up on her lol. Daughter C is in my girl scout troop. Daughter K is in Ohio too. I never met her though. Daughter M is gonna give her momma a run for her money. She is only 8 months old and hell on wheels I tell ya. She just found her crawling legs and there is no stopping her now.

I hope I can find my camera cable so I can post a picture of precious Peanut.

I have so much going on this weekend with Superdaddy's birthday Saturday, Bubba's presentation Saturday, and Thumper's baptism Sunday. My brother will be flying in tomorrow night for the festivities. Hope to have some great pictures to share soon.

Take care and behave!!

Humbled

2009-07-16T07:59:00.002-05:00

Superdaddy has been talking about wanting to make himself more "available" job wise. He and I have talked about getting his hazmat license. There have been a lot of job postings in our area for tanker haulers. We have talked about him getting his tanker permit as well as his doubles permit. I wouldn't mind if he had his tanker permit as long as he didn't haul gas or fuel. For the reason below.

That happened about 7 miles from my house. The smell is still in the air even by my house. The girls and I watched the news after hearing about it from family who was concerned we might want to travel I-75 from scout camp. Absolutely horrifying story. Details were sketchy last night (obviously). I was a little peeved though to read on Face.book from a friend of mine precisely "That is why irresponsible drivers become truck drivers. They really need to go to school longer. They run red lights and don't care just because they are bigger than everyone else." Talk about my blood pressure boiling!!

Superdaddy and I cannot be in the same vehicle if I am driving and he is being chauffeured around. He doesn't like how I drive now apparently since becoming a driver. Drives me insane.

I will update on family happenings tomorrow or later today.

My worst fear

2009-07-16T07:55:00.001-05:00

Tanker Explodes On I-75 In Hazel Park
Explosion Causes Bridge To Collapse

POSTED: Wednesday, July 15, 2009
UPDATED: 8:50 am EDT July 16, 2009

HAZEL PARK, Mich. -- A two mile stretch of Interstate 75 remians closed in both directions at 9 Mile Road in Hazel Park after a tanker exploded. Police said the tanker rolled over on the northbound lanes of the freeway shortly after 8 p.m. "It was like armageddon. It was crazy," said Autumn. "I was laying in bed and heard a big explosion and saw smoke everywhere."

Watch: RAW VIDEO: Tanker ExplosionImages: Tanker Explosion

Police said a 27-year-old driver of a car lost control while driving about 70 miles per hour along a curve and collided with the tanker.

"This truck veered off to the right. It looks like it might have been cut off," said witness Troy. "Then there was this fireball. Then there was explosion after explosion after explosion."
Police said the flames caused the Nine Mile Road bridge over I-75 to collapse.

Three people suffered minor injuries.

A contractor is expected to be named shortly for repair work to begin. A crane will need to be brought in to lift the overpass.

Hazel Park firefighters are standing by in case any hot spots remain.
The tanker is reported to have been carrying around 9,000 gallons of fuel. Utility companies expressed concern over a natural gas pipeline that runs in the general area. DTE Energy said 2,000 customers are without power due to the accident. Department of Transportation officials are assessing the damage. There is no word on when I-75 will reopen. The eastbound I-696 ramp to northbound I-75 has reopened. However, the Nine Mile service drive remains closed.
Drivers are being urged to use Woodward Avenue as an alternate route.

Original story posted here.

All in a days work

2009-06-03T11:35:00.002-05:00

I have an Eagle Scout. Officially he will be presented and celebrated July 25. I am so proud of him. How much he has matured over time. Yeah I know, the kid will be starting drivers education Monday. How the heck did that happen?

The kiddo's will be out of school next week. Another summer with bored children. haha. I hope we can find something to keep them busy every day.

Superdaddy is still working at his job thank heavens. We are trying to adjust to having 1/3 of a paycheck that he used to have. Hopefully things will iron out soon.

New job brings him home everyday but once a week. Part of me misses him being gone all week. Talk about feeling guilty about it. I wish some days he would be gone a few more days. Never mind him having to drive to and from work everyday and gas prices are going up and up again. Our grocery bill is going up. I used to package food for me and the kids for the week, and package family packs for the weekends. Well to be honest, for the first time in almost 2 months, it is time for the grocery store. Never mind I go almost weekly for bread and dairy products. Our freezer has never been so empty. Can almost holler into it and have an echo back.

I know I am so thankful that PIA has gotten married. She is so preoccupied with her new hubby that she is finally leaving my hubby alone. Last weekend she tried to dump kids on Superdaddy but he was out of town for work and told her to call me. No phone call so I was let off the hook.

Hope everyone is ready to have a wonderful summer. I know I am.

Eagle Scout?

2009-05-18T15:32:00.002-05:00

My brain is fried. My anxiety level is so very high. I have forgotten to mention a "good anxiety peaker". Bubba has his "Eagle Board of Review" today. HOLY CRAP!!!

I almost have an Eagle scout at my house!

Anxiety my friend

2009-05-18T12:19:00.003-05:00

Looks like I'm gonna be a mom again.

Sigh

Superdaddy's little brother will be staying with us for a little while. He wants to go to school and get his diploma and such. He is 18 and I am clueless!!! I have an almost 16 year old. I don't know how I will cope with an 8 year old.

Oh yeah, and his 14 year old sister will be staying with us for the summer. She is the one I wrote about last summer.

Yeah 2 more mouths to feed. 2 more people's laundry. I am not dealing well right now. My anxiety level is beyond peeked.

Belated!!

2009-05-12T14:44:00.002-05:00

Things have been chugging along.

Happy belated Mother's day to everyone. Those that have babies, those that have 4 legged babies, those that are desperately trying for babies, those that have angel babies, those that are parents to babies who don't belong to them.

Mother's day was wonderful. I was woken up at 5:30 by a baby Thumper who just wanted to cuddle. Again at 6:30 by Miss G wanting to tell dad Miss J made me breakfast instead of them all making it. Again at 6:45 by Miss M telling on Miss J. Yet again at 6:50 by chicky telling dad that I'm gonna be mad for having eggs and cereal all at once. Yes, my breakfast consisted of:

2 over easy eggs (pink eggs) by Miss G
butchered apple by Miss M
huge glass of cherry Koolaid (yuck) Chicky
Cereal and milk (Miss J)
banana (Miss J)

Lots of blessings. I was blessed beyond belief that after the girls woke me up I got Thumper to sleep with me on the couch for some cuddle time. Slept through church oops. I made home made macaroni & cheese YUM. The girls had to go home at 4:00 pm though.

My grand parents finally made it from Florida for the summer. They have yet to see Thumper until Saturday. I took the girls over to visit them. It was so nice to see them again. Need to get pictures next time. They are getting up there in age.

Words to live by

2009-04-29T13:06:00.001-05:00

Lord, please keep Your arm around my shoulders and Your hand over my mouth! Amen

Three's

2009-04-27T12:33:00.003-05:00

The master cylinder has proven to be a royal pain in the rear end. Well rather not the cylinder itself, but the bolt that holds the darn thing onto the car. It has been stripped out by a nameless child of mine that was working on removing it for repair.

My lovely daughter, Miss J has pointed out to me that it comes in Threes.

Car 1.) Blower motor in van goes out. No heat, no air, no defroster
Car 2.) Master Cylinder goes out. No brakes. Just found out it is a dealer only part. Apparently cars from1990 did not come with ABS; only the SSE's and that was a special order part. That special order part costs $2,000 to reoder. That is more than the value of my 1990 SSE car with over 223,000 miles on it. Just lovely.
Car 3.) Yet to come

House 1.) Water in bathroom; Sprinkler
House 2.) Furnace blower goes out: no heat, no air. Cost of replacement part is to the tune of $200.
House 3.) Yet to come

Banking 1.) Foreclosure?
Banking 2.) IRS seizing assets
Banking 3.) Yet to come

Sheesh!! I cannot wait to spend some time outdoors. Heck, I long to mow the lawn now a days. How crazy is that?

Dumped again

2009-04-20T21:25:00.002-05:00

Lately things have dumped...and dumped...and dumped. And regarding my last post, I am not suicidial.

Right before Christmas, Superdaddy got laid off of work. For almost whole month of December. All of January and almost all of February. He was looking for a job during that time. Trust me he was a looking.

He never did get called back to the OO job. Any who, on maternity leave, we get 40% of our pay. Needless to say, we owed February, March, and April house note. Shut offs for utilities because one month we paid Gas and next month electric. Never mind our water bill is past due too (they are gonna put a lien on our home apparently).

Mortgage company will not make payment arrangements. I even offered them a payment and a half. No dice. All or nothing. I got paid Friday and got a certified check for a payment and a half and paid the baby sitter. I have exactly enough to have gas to go to work all week...or so I thought.

Last week I made arrangements with IRS for back taxes Superdaddy owes. He was 1099'd by an old boss. Actually 2 times 1099'd. Don't ask me how, but we only got one and only filed one. Needless to say, we owe close to $3000 for 2006. I knew we would owe this year and had to do the taxes to find out what we owed so I could make arrangements. I did and made them arrangements last week. YIPPEE!!!

IRS seized my assets. MINE!! Not Superdaddy's. They froze my bank account today. The froze and confiscated my children's bank accounts today. As in, I have no gas money to get to work rest of week.

I am so tired of living paycheck to paycheck. How do I tell mortgage company they took my accounts? How do I tell the sitter, she won't get paid next week?

Never mind, last night Chicky was taking a bath and the water wouldn't shut off. As in the hot water!! It kept going and going. We turned it off at the hot water tank. Therefore no hot water. Superdaddy fixed it today at the grand cost of $10 for parts, never mind the shower curtain rod, and the wall, and the paneling. Yeah.

Today the master cylinder went out on our 1990 car. This car has 230,000 miles. Is it worth it to fix it? That and the trans is slipping pretty good. Never mind we cannot get a new used car.

We are blessed to have 6 healthy children and employment. We are blessed to have a roof over heads (even if just for today). We are blessed to have some food in our home. Tomorrow is a new day. We will be blessed for another morning we wake up breathing.

Life

2009-04-20T15:26:00.004-05:00

She's home from Chicago, she had a great time.

The IRS sucks....Now I understand why people take their own lives.

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far...far, far away from here. (Forrest Gump)

One day at a time

Irritation

2009-04-18T00:00:00.002-05:00

I have a friend. She watches my kids. Tomorrow I have a wedding to go to and she will be watching Thumper and Chicky. She asked me to bring hamburger over so Chicky could eat Hamburgers with them. I guess that is what they are having for dinner. You cannot tell me that my 5 year old will eat them out of house and home. My burger is frozen into 2lb packages. I don't have money to go buy enough burger for her to have a burger. I said well I will bring McDonald's hamburger for her. She was like there are other kids here and that isn't fair. Uggg.

The IRS is going to garnish my bank account for taxes we owe. Never mind I called 3-4 times to set up arrangements but they didn't want to make arrangements until I filed taxes this year. We owe a total of $3,900. There are people who owe so much more and they go years and years. I just don't get it. Why do they insist on punishing the "struggling lower-middle class".

Off my pity potty. Good night.

Another day in paradise

2009-04-15T14:18:00.005-05:00

So Miss J is in Chicago. I am still stressed. My Ex-SIL had made a comment that "maybe I'll just keep her forever". Can I tell you that particular situation has been in my dreams since before J went down there.

Miss J called me yesterday. Things seem to be going good. I miss her.

Saturday is the affordable vaccinate your animal day in our city. Great and wonderful. However, Superdaddy, mom and Bubba will all be at scout camp. I have to take my 60 lb German Shepherd, moms 40 lb Beagle, moms 10 lb. cat, my 8 lb cat, Chicky and Thumper and do this on my own!! This should be comical to say the least. Oh yeah, and I have a wedding to go to at 3:30.

My SIL called me today. She wanted to know if Miss S still has my insurance. She called from my MIL's phone. Why MIL didn't call me is beyond me. Something about "This is SIL. I wanted to know if Miss S still has Insurance? We found the insurance card and wanted to know if it would work to take her to the doctor. She is pretty sick." Are you kidding me? "If they need your SS# I will call you back." This is the same SIL who hit my friends car 3 years ago. The same SIL that just screwed over PIA with Girl Scout Cookies. MIL has guardianship over her. MIL is supposed to provide insurance on her not us. I had her on my insurance plan as a courtesy and in case Miss S decided to come stay with us, she already had insurance. My job allows for me to provide insurance for my step-children one we got married. With the economy, my premium was going up as with everyone else's and we opted to drop her off our insurance (haven't seen her in over 3 years). We will see how the dice land this time.

Stress

2009-04-15T14:15:00.001-05:00

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glassof water and asked
How heavy is this glass of water?

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you;ll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.

He continued,
An that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
we won't be able to carry on.

As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carring now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.

So, my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

*Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.

*Always wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.

*Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
recalled by their maker.

*If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

*If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.

*It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

*Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

*Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.

*Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

*The second mouse gets the cheese.

*When everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.

*Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.

*You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.

*Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

*We could learn a lot from crayons...Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today... I did

Anxiety

2009-04-13T08:25:00.002-05:00

Miss J is going to Chicago to spend some time with her aunt. I am beside myself with anxiety. Not that Auntie has the capability of taking care of an 11 year old; just the fact that she hasn't spoken to or seen Auntie in almost 4 years except for a handful of times. Literally I can count on one hand the times. J is so excited to go. I cannot bear the thought of not letting her go. Bubba is kinda disappointed he doesn't get to go somewhere for spring break. I told him maybe next year. He was invited to go to Chicago as well, but he has baseball practice.

Good golly I sure do need a drink.

Hope everyone had a great Easter. I know mine was busy as is all the holiday's.

The garbage truck rule

2009-04-09T08:49:00.001-05:00

The Garbage Truck Rule – anonymous

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And, I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, “Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!” This is when my tax driver taught me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck’.

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so… Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t.
Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent attitude!

Have a garbage-free day!

Dont send me to Girl Scout Camp

2009-04-06T10:08:00.002-05:00

Please mom don't send me to girl scout camp!

This weekend was draining. We went to Girl Scout Camp. Had a blast. 24 lil girls wanting to "mother" baby Thumper. Yes she went to camp with us. Daddy didn't think he could survive a whole weekend alone with her. That and one of my leaders wanted to have a weekend sleep over with Thumper.

One of the lil girls got sick on Friday night...in her sleep. As in, she didn't wake anyone up. As in, she slept in her sleeping bag filled with regurgitation. Saturday her lips turned blue.

Who the hell sends their child to camp an hour and a half from home and doesn't answer the phone that they gave the leader to call for emergencies?? They do. I left 5 messages! They didn't call back. Never mind she vomited in her sleep, never mind her lips turned blue. NO ANSWER. NO RETURN CALL!

Finally got a hold of the grandmother who got a hold of the parents. They couldn't pick her up. My mom had to drive her home. The dad claimed he took her to urgent care. There was nothing wrong with her. The doctor told the dad the blue lips were from lack of oxygen. NO doubt! Her mom said it was probably just poor lighting in the cabin.

Oye. Will post a picture of this really wicked bridge the girls went on when I get mom's camera. The bridge was about 5 feet off of water. A beaver built a dam under the bridge. The bridge was about 18 inches wide. With no rails to hold onto. We crossed it.

I now need a vacation.

Burnout!

2009-03-30T09:15:00.003-05:00

It has been a long week. Things are status quo around here.

I have been asking myself what the hell did I get myself into? More times this last week than I have I think in my lifetime.

PIA has been letting the kids come over for church during the week. This is great for the kids have been wanting to go to church for the Monday kids program for the last 5 years. Plus midweek services and such. Problem is...I have child burn out. I love the kids dearly with all my heart, I am just burned out.

My girl scout troop is going camping this weekend coming up. I have so much to do to prepare for camp myself and yet I have the kids under foot and I have to pack them for camp too. It is "our" activity so we have to provide the "supplies". Thumper will be joining us for camp as well.

The Circus is coming to town. I don't mean my children will be in town. The Shr.iners have donated 5,000 tickets to this Thursday's circus. I along with hundreds of other Detroiter's braved the cold wind to get 4 free tickets per family. See the logistics. Only 4 tickets. I had to drag my mom's butt out of bed to stand in line with me. We almost got tickets in different areas. Luckily I had the brains to ask if it was seat specific which it was and drag mom's butt to my window to get consecutive seats. Even had to drag Eddie (my babysitter/friend's husband) to my window so we could all sit together.

Bottom line, this was our weekend. Had the kids last week, Friday (scouts), Saturday overnight to Sunday (Miss G came), Monday (church), Wednesday (church), Friday (scouts), Saturday, Sunday, Monday (church), Wednesday (church), Thursday (circus), Friday (scout camp), Saturday (scout camp), Sunday (scout camp), Monday (church play), Thursday (church), Friday (church) in the last 2 weeks. I think she should be paying me child support. Ha Ha!

The issues are still there at home. I think he is ready to bolt. This economy sucks, we are sinking and both tired of not having any money for anything. We still have not celebrated Chicky's birthday, let alone Miss J's or Miss G's birthday. We barely have gas money to get to work this week. I know it is ever where and I apologize for making it my "pity potty". It just sucks.

Parenting teenagers suck....Parenting pre-teen's sucks even more. Reality vs Fantasy. The lies the children come up with. The rooms that never see clean floors. The dressers that remain empty even after laundry has been done. Oye.

Just another day in Paradise.

Issues

2009-03-23T11:12:00.002-05:00

I have issues.

Things have been hectic on my front. Some things are hectic for the best...some not so much so.

Parenting teenagers sucks.

Parenting pre-teenagers sucks worse.

Sick-O's

2009-03-04T10:09:00.003-05:00

I managed to be off of work for 6 weeks and care for my sick-o children. Guess what? hubby got sick last week and I managed to get a "leaky" nose yesterday. My darn nose looks like Rudolph from wiping it so much. Thumper had a fever the last 2 days. Fun times I tell ya. She has not been sleeping well due to her stuffy nose.

Superdaddy has to stay out of town tonight due to work. I am somewhat relieved and somewhat nervous. His ex has no heat in her house. We had the kids this weekend, Monday for church, Monday night, Tuesday night and tonight for church. It is draining me to have to get 6 kids ready for me to be to work on time every day. The girls just don't want to get moving and it drives me crazy. I am used to getting 3 ready, now I am getting the routine of 4, but the other 2 are used to moms routine. Akkk!!

Thank goodness cookie time is almost over. I have had nightmares about the Girl Scout cookies. We did very good this year considering the peanut butter contamination and all. Will be so happy once the last 6 cases are gone.

D Day

2009-03-02T13:40:00.004-05:00

Today is my dreaded return to work date. Of course, last night Thumper decided to pull an almost all nighter. She should sleep well for the sitter today. Haven't been able to update at home due to no funds to pay the Internet bill. Hell no funds to pay many bills.

Superdaddy got a local job that is a huge pay cut, but hell he can be home nightly. He isn't driving a 53 footer though. He is driving a box refrigerator truck. I'm not quite sure how I feel about him being home daily though. Strange. Probably because I was home with him for 6 weeks every day. He was driving me batty!!!

PIA did get married. Her fiance had a "major heart attach" the eve of the wedding. Sometime around 3:00 am Saturday morning he collapsed in the hall way and had to go to ER. According to the story, he was on life support and walked out Sunday morning. I saw the wedding album and have to say, the "life support" was an oxygen mask. Next she tells, he pulled his trach out so he could check out. My dad had a trach and he definately does not have one of those. Any which way, she is sweet as sugar and honey to the kids and Superdaddy. She even let them come to midweek service at church last week for Ash Wednesday.

How bout this, she even invited Miss J to Miss G's birthday party to celebrate together. They are only 3 days and a year apart. She wants the kids to all come. Ha!

Maybe just maybe she will "cool her heels" for a little bit.

Got lots of catching up to do.

Here is a pic from "party girl Thumper" last night.

Almost 2 weeks already?

2009-01-29T22:25:00.003-05:00

Life with Thumper seems to be much harder on mommy than it was 5 years ago. She is a really good baby and sleeps a lot. She only wakes 2 times at night one around midnight and one around 6 am or so. I just have no energy. I don't remember being so damn tired after Chicky was born. Superdaddy has been home to help (yeah ok) and isn't expected to go back to work for like another 3 weeks or so. Lets hope GM doesn't push it back again. The bill collectors have started to call already.

Bubba is pretty sick this week. I took him in to get checked out and weighed myself. I am down 18 pounds or so since delivery. Not bad I guess. Only bonus was that I only gained 0.4 pounds my whole pregnancy due to the gestational diabetes diet.

Work is driving me crazy. They got a new temp I guess the week after I had the baby. She seems to be working out I guess. They cannot figure out how to order supplies or board surgeries. Not a good thing when you work for 6 surgeons.

The girls got webkins for Christmas. They seem to have got me addicted to "checking on them" during the day. I like the games you can play with them and earn coins. Too bad my "no cleaning" restriction is up Sunday. Poor webkin will get neglected I think as the house will not clean itself.

This weekend the step kids will be back over. They have not been over since Thumper was born. I wonder how they will deal with us being home now. Grandma brought them to the hospital but I wasn't there for their visit (having a procedure done). Our dog still cracks me up. She paces the floor when Thumper cries. Only 2 times has the dog woke her up by being "nosey" and touching Thumper with her cold nose. The cat however, has no clue there is a baby in the house. She is too busy tormenting the dog.

Hope to catch up on everyone's blog soon. (during my free time again).

Thumper has arrived!!

2009-01-20T08:31:00.004-05:00

Baby's Name: Thumper/Violet

Gender: Female

Date of Birth: January 17, 2009

Original Due Date: January 19, 2009

Height/Weight: 7lbs. 6.5 oz. / 18.9 inches long

Story/Pictures:
Saturday dad and grandma were supposed to take Bubba to a boy scout function. In our state, it was single digit weather so I kind of advised against going. They were gonna see how I was feeling. Thumper had not dropped into my pelvis yet. When I woke up Saturday morning, I began having contractions that were about 16 minutes apart. They were lasting about 30 seconds. Pain scale rated about 3. Went back to bed until Chicky woke up. When she got up, I got up with her. All morning, they didnt get closer or longer. Dad and grandma did not go to the function (good thing). it was supposed to be from 6am until about 9pm. The girls were bickering all day and the youngest needed a nap. I talked her into going to take a nap with me about noon.

When we got up around 3pm, the contractions were about 4 mintues apart. Very mild. After watching the clock and trying to keep busy, dad decided to make supper and we were gonna call the doctor after supper. I told him we could not stay until after supper and it was almost time to go. He went and started the car while I called the doctor. She thought it was probably early labor and said because we were under a snow advisory I would come in if I really felt necessary or try to weather it out. We waited about 15 minutes for me to decide it was definately time to go.

We got to the hospital about 6pm. They took me to triage to assess if t was really labor about 6:15. When they hooked me up to the monitor, Thumper's heart rate went down with every contraction. They wheeled me into the room and the room was filled with people (probably 6:30 or so). She checked me and I was at 6 cm. After a few minutes, dad was gonna go get something to eat and I told him she would be here within an hour. My mom was not really convinced though (she was watching the other kids at home). My body was trying really hard to push and when they checked me again, I still had cervix and my water had not broken yet (though I was a 9). Once my water broke, they put an internal monitor on her head and her heartrate was still going down fast. The doctor pushed my cervix out of the way and they told me to push.
As I pushed, they were calling out the heart rate and it was going down and not coming back up. As daddy put it, she spit out like a watermelon seed. She was born in literally 70 seconds of pushing. The nurse told me because of her heart tones going so low, they were worried she was "going to the light" and I was 30 seconds away from a c-section.

We are doing well and has a very strong suck reflex.

Still here

2009-01-15T12:02:00.002-05:00

No Thumper yet.

Did I mention, week of Christmas, temp got canned. We haven't had much luck since finding someone to replace me when I have the kid. That is until Tuesday. New girl started Tuesday. She was wonderful. Magnificent.

She got a full time permanent job offer while being here. She worked from 8am until about 11am and then quit. I am happy for her. Sad for my coworkers.

Looks like Marth'a Vinyard may need to open a day care center so I can bring Thumper into work.

Superdaddy still is not working until probably January 25th or there abouts. Hoping Thumper will dislodge from my ribs and start to descend into place. Her eviction notice is effective January 19th. Exactly 4 days away. Hope she will comply. Otherwise there is a good chance Superdaddy will miss it.

Tomorrow my girl scout troop is hosting a "surprise" baby shower for me. Don't ask. Last week Thursday, my job hosted a surprise baby shower for me. I was very surprised by that one. Saturday Bubba's boy scout troop is having an outing all day like 6am until 9pm. Mom or Superdaddy will be there. Lets hope Thumper doesn't evacuate that day. Next post will probably have pictures.

Take care and try to stay warm!!

Been a while

2009-01-05T12:12:00.002-05:00

Life has been cruising along. We had the step kids from Friday after school until Christmas eve then again Christmas day until New years day. Talk about mad house. sheesh.

Court was hysterical from what I gathered. She tried to get a bunch of stuff to happen that the court told her would not happen. They basically told her to she needed to live her life and not worry about his life and vice versa. Fine by me. She (PIA) suggested her "fiance", Superdaddy, herself and I go to counseling for the girls sake. She is the one who caused so much grief in my life. I have been nothing but cordial to her face. Basically she even told the court lady that us having another kid was taking her child support away from her children. This was court date number 4 since September.

Miss M freaked out when she saw I had bottles in the kitchen cabinet. I was like...umm we are having a baby soon you know. She said yes I did know, but mom said around Easter. Yeah.

We finally found some clothes for Thumper. The crib is still not up, the gun cabinet is still in the spot for the crib, the bottles are washed ready to go, we have diapers/wipes, now if I could just get my shit together and get our bag packed.

I think Superdaddy is in denial. Baby is due January 19th. I have been having contractions for last 2 months. Guess what he decided...since he is off of work from December 22 to February 1 or there abouts, he is going up north to go snowmobiling. Thursday he is leaving after dropping Chicky off at school. He will be home Sunday or there abouts. Possibly going up the following weekend as well. Un-freaking-believable. Part of me hopes to go into labor and he misses it. Would serve his ass right.

I thought him being home things would be better with us. Things are not terrible, but not better. I guess I have higher expectations than I thought. I mean is it too much to ask that he comes to bed by say 11pm? That we have couple time after the kids go to bed? Guess the time is better spent holding down the computer chair (heaven knows that counterstrike game cannot play itself).

Hoping that nesting kicks in soon. With having the kids all of break the house barely got straightened up let alone cleaned. Good thing we got a borrowed bassinet so the kid will not be sleeping in the dresser drawer as previously thought.

Anyone got a self loading washer/dryer that they can borrow me? How about self scrubbing dishes? Seems mom the maid is ready to fall apart any day now.

Hope everyone had a great holiday and that everyone starts the new year off right.

Life updates

2008-12-22T14:10:00.002-05:00

Talk about a terrible week. Last week was plain awful in terms of well everything.

Monday, my mom's car broke down. Tuesday the temp showed up late for work and we got nasty phone calls from our boss about no one answering the phone. Wednesday my car broke down on the way to work...actually at the stop sign at work and had to be pushed into the lot. Security would not help push it the good for nothings. Thursday I hitched a ride and my aunt helped get the car fixed to get it home. Thursday night, the car was less than 1/2 mile from my house and the damn thing stalled and would not start again. Never mind during the week, my furnace has been acting up on and off. The stupid heat would turn off out of the blue. Friday we got walloped with some 12 inches of snow.

The car incident was terrible; especially seeing how Superdaddy blamed the operator (me) for reckless driving and such. Turned out the damn clamp that was fixed 2 months ago broke on the fuel line. Had nothing to do with reckless driving.

Get this...Saturday the furnace went out again. Turns out the "trap door" was not pushing the safety switch igniter down enough. He finally figured it out. I suggested taping it down until he could figure out how to replace the switch. Oh no!! Terrible idea...tape will ignite. 20 minutes later...do I know where duct tape is? Asshole. Oh yeah on the other foot, "I" meaning me have not been closing the trap door properly or else we wouldn't have this problem. When I fix the damn thing it works for 2-3 days and than goes out. When he fixes it, it works maybe for 2 hours.

Husband for sale!! Any takers?!?!?!?

Guess we have the step kids from 12/19 through 12/24 am and then 12/25 through 1/1. We were happily informed mom is getting married. Her boyfriend is staying with them now. She just moved into this home. She wants a winter wedding, he wants a spring wedding. Seems to me someone is in a hurry to get married to have someone take care of her. I just hope this one is enough to make her happy and leave us the hell alone. She needs to get a life of her own and leave mine alone!!

Happy holidays to you and your family. Be safe everyone and enjoy!!

Stolen from Beth

2008-12-18T11:59:00.002-05:00

I stole this from Beth.

*i am annoyed by the temp I am training for my medical leave (she is very lazy and quite frankly not good at working).
*i want PIA to get a life and quit trying to make our lives miserable.
*i have to get ready for the baby to come. About 4 weeks left. Where has the time gone? Oh yeah, have to get ready for Christmas as well.
*i miss having adult conversations during the week except on the phone.
*i fear dying alone and leaving my children without their mother.
*i hear we will have the step children their whole break except for Christmas-eve. How convenient. Will see what happens at court December 30th.
*i search my soul for purpose at least twice a year.
*i wonder where my life would be now if I had birthed that baby at the age of 16.
*i regret a few things that obviously shaped me into who I am today.
*i love my family and life in general.
*i forgive when I need to. Just forgetting is that hard part.
*i ache to have my husband and my family whole during the week.
*i always tell my family everyday just how much I love them.
*i try to be patient and fair. Sometimes I am not very patient.
*i seem to have been dealing with PIA pretty well lately with all of her games.
*i know misery love company and I don't think I will join them.
*i feel I am in a very good place in life today. Ask me again tomorrow, it may change.
*i dance when no one is watching me.
*i dream of the future and the past quite a bit.
*i give with my whole heart whenever I get a chance.
*i listen most of the time open-minded.
*i sing when the radio is louder than my voice haha!
*i laugh at myself mostly, laughter is the best medicine.
*i can't stand people who use other people and their feelings as a doormat.
*i write when I need to get out some feelings.
*i cry mostly in the shower.
*i sleep wherever the sandman visits me at.
*i am at work and ready to have a longgggg vacation (maternity leave possibly?)
*i see snow coming to our area real soon. Could be a snow day tomorrow?
*i need a good back rub and about a weeks worth of sleep.
*i should really go get me some lunch and feed this baby already.

I tag all of you who have not done this already!!

tagged

2008-12-12T15:15:00.002-05:00

Okay so I seen this on someone elses blog and thought I would do it too. Your supposed to copy the list and the highlight the ones you have done. I think I managed 43 out of 99, I better start living life on the wilder side.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang/played a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (from the shoreline)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (through work)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (still do)
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check (once too many times unfortunately)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar (I work for doctors)
72. Pieced a quilt (will be soon)
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (a detroit red wing at work)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Made a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Any takers???

Status Quo

2008-12-09T14:21:00.003-05:00

Things have been holding steady in our neck of the woods (thank God). Superdaddy is back to working for now and the PIA is well still a Pain In the A$$.

The kids came by last weekend. We were able to decorate the tree unlike last year. I took them to the dollar store and managed to spend $75.00 with only 2 of the kids. EKKK. This weekend will be my children shopping. Fun times but at least if PIA doesn't let the girls come back than they will at least have their gifts to give.

Things with Superdad's work are not looking to hot. Even with the big 3 bailout things are not looking good. He delivers for GM. His delivery plant is "shut down" usually the week of Christmas and New Years. This year, however, his deliver plant is shut down December 20 through January 25th. This means no paycheck; No unemployment; Child support still due. The baby is due January 19th so if things hold true, than he just might be home when the baby comes.

It is so hard to get used to him being gone again after being home for 2 and a half weeks in November. I can only imagine if he doesn't get out after December 20th how hard it will be when the baby comes and he has to go back to work.

Its been a while

2008-12-02T12:25:00.002-05:00

Because Natalie tagged all of her readers.

Link to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write 6 random things about yourself.
Tag 6-ish people at the end of your post.
Let each person know he/she has been tagged.
Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

1. I used to play the clarinet in the school band. My son and now my daughter have both played it in school. I can still pick it up and mess up a song. I was never really good at it, but I played it the best I could.

2. Up until recently, I had a 'new' used car each year I was driving. Though they were never new, I had a newer one for about a year.

3. I married my high school sweetheart the second time around. My parents came between us when we dated in high school. After being apart some time, we somehow met up again and found out we were going through the same kind of things in life (marriage failing). We have been back together over 6 years.

4. One point in my life, I wished my ex husband would die. I never guessed he would over dose and die. Every day I look at Miss J I wish I never wanted him to die. I wish he was here to teach her things and have her get to know him. He was in prison all but 2 years of her life. He was a great friend, and great guy until he got hooked on drugs. Sorry I wished you would die.

5. Up until a few years ago, I loved my job. I work in health care and we are in the business of saving lives (not all of health care is). We are a small community in our "field". A few years ago, we got an "administration change". Seems it is more about money and numbers than patients themselves. The day we were told to push numbers no matter what, I decided my job was no longer my job, it was just a paycheck. I love my patients. I love being part of the "saving lives" aspect of our department. I hate the politics and the "money aspect".

6. I am very close to completing my associates degree in college for office administration. I quit going to school after i married Miss J's dad and got pregnant with Miss J. Today I have over $10,000 in student loans and no degree to show for it. I need to get a boot up my ass and get back to school.

If you haven't done the random things about yourself lately, consider yourself tagged!

Got some cheese?

2008-12-01T20:30:00.003-05:00

I got the wine!!

So it has been a while since i posted. I have been in sort of a funk.

I am rather sad about the Gestational Diabetes diagnosis. Heck my finger tips hurt from all the poor poking they are getting. I missed out on stuffing and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving; but my numbers looked great. That is until this week. Like today my morning number was 99 (needs to be below 90) and my breakfast number was 123 (needs to be below 120). No one seems to understand just how sad and depressed I am about this and the fact that the holidays are here and I cannot indulge like everyone else. A simple cookie is out of reach!!!! And than to see my numbers makes all the sacrifices seem like it is all in vain. Will have to report to the dr tomorrow and see what they want to do. They said to give it a week and if the numbers are not there than insulin. Please dear Lord...no insulin.

Another thing i have been dealing with is the whole "this baby is a female". I so wanted a boy and so did superdaddy. I did my whole "secret stork" exchange and was fine buying for a little girl. Truth be told, I was disappointed in what I received as a gift. Probably due to the fact that I put so much thought into the gift I gave. There were 13 or so mammas that didn't get gifts. I had indicated that I would probably help out in cases such as these. Guess what!!!??? I am paired with a girl who is due the same day I am. She is having my little boy and I am having her little girl. Her birthday is the same as bubbas birthday. How in the world do I think going to a store to buy a gift for a little guy is going to pan out? I want the little boy stuff to be for my son not someone elses.

revelation!

2008-11-22T12:24:00.002-05:00

According to myspace.....
PIA got a new home Im so happy moving is all done life for me is going ok !!!

This is our weekend. Guess who is not here??? Looks like it is back to playing games again. And she will pay the piper one day soon enough.

To think she accused us of taking away from her girls when we decided to have another baby. She is taking away from her own kids by playing her games. We were gonna go xmas shopping with the kids this weekend to have them buy for everyone on their lists. HAHA!!

paperwork

2008-11-17T15:47:00.002-05:00

The paperwork arrived in mail. She is requesting "supervised visitation at a police station" outside our home due to her children coming home with headlice. Oh yeah and ring worm.

Back up to last week. The kids came to my home with lice!! I treated them. I picked their hair. She sent them to school. I waited and called the school and they were there. I don't know if the school sent them home or not.

Ring worm is something new.

Somewhere on the papers it says "he switches 'court ordered visitation' without court permission. She sends them when she wants to.

To think, this is his weekend. We will see if she sends them or not.

Life

2008-11-17T13:47:00.002-05:00

Like sands through the hour glass...these are the days!

PIA is dragging him back to court. To modify custody.

How the hell is he supposed to pay child support if she keeps making it so he can't work? Last week he was off all week. His truck was in the shop. He is hunting. Coming home today or tomorrow. He should leave out Wednesday if his truck is fixed; and come home Friday some time. He will obviously not leave out Monday morning at 5am to work because he has to go to court with her at 1:30 pm. Than he would leave again Wednesday...that won't happen due to the holiday.

Basic breakdown...
Whole Check Friday 11/21
No check (truck in shop) 11/28
1/2 check 12/5
No check (court and holiday) 12/12

Oh yeah and she still needs child support. And we don't get gifts from church and toys 4 tots like she does. Looks like our tree will be pretty baron this year.

What the heck is she up to?

I'm a failure

2008-11-14T11:53:00.003-05:00

I failed the 3 hour gtt test. Guess that means no more soda, candy, sweets, chips, carbs, fruit and what ever else for me.

I have been eating so much healthier this pregnancy than I did with the other 3. First one I gained about 60 lbs. Second one I gained bout 35. Third one I gained about 25. This one, 8 so far. I go back to the dr. November 24.

I am so disappointed. What exactly does a GD woman eat? Know what I am most disappointed by? I will never be able to be a kidney donor. Not a live donor anyways. For a deceased donor, they have to take my kidney with the understanding that it is high risk for failure. Plus I am at a higher risk for developing kidney failure. I am so bummed.

This will be a very quiet weekend. The guys are looking for bambi or bambi's mother this weekend up north. Hopefully, they will bring home enough meat to fill our freezer.

Family drama

2008-11-12T11:41:00.003-05:00

Yesterday we received a frantic phone call. Superdaddy's father had gone missing. He is on psychiatric meds and this was not the first time in his history he has gone missing for a little bit. Last night, Superdad got a phone call from his dad to pick him up somewhere bout an hour from our home. Apparently, he was arrested and released and told to find a pay phone. Good thing Superdad's truck was broken down and he was able to get his father. He has no recollection of about 9 hours or so. He is missing many meds including his psych meds. He has no money, no gas, no meds and now has a court date in our state for "Operating while Intoxicated". Somehow his meds that he picked up Monday are missing. No bottle(s) to be found. His horse food is all over the bed of his truck, his lock box is gone and 4 flat tires.

More money out the rear end to get his truck from impound. Please dear let this be the end.

Remember it comes in 3's? My friends car was in accident, my car was hit while parked by Superdad's truck and again 4 days later by a school bus. My moms friends car was repoed and now dad's truck impounded...That leaves one more for the car being taken away. Oye!!

Joy of work

2008-11-10T13:17:00.003-05:00

Superdaddy's truck died this morning.

We only have one vehicle right now. Took my car in to get the gas tank leak fixed and somehow, the brake line got punctured. Sigh. More money out the window. Drove my car all weekend with a Brick for a break pedal. Took it back to same shop.

Meanwhile, Superdaddy went to leave for work today. His truck wouldn't start. Looks like the engine is dying in the semi. Looks like it needs a major "overhaul". He will not be working at all this week. On the heals of the whole child support thing and the holiday's coming up really fast...THIS SUCKS!!

If the wheels don't move, the pennies don't add up to any size paycheck. Owner Operator told him he wasn't gonna be driving anywhere this week so the engine could get worked on. Good news is this, he can leave to go up hunting on Thursday instead of midnight on Friday.

Gonna be a long week.

Pet Lice

2008-11-07T22:50:00.001-05:00

The ex sent the step kids over with pet lice in their hair again. I am so sick and tired of this shit. Now, a 30 week pregnant woman (me) is doing lice treatments with pestacides and spending an un-godly amount of time picking shit out of their hairs. Selfish Bitch.

Prop Eight

2008-11-05T15:38:00.003-05:00

Though I do not live in Cali...I am disappointed prop 8 passed. I guess I figured with a African-American president and all people would look past the discrimination factor. One cannot help who they fall in love with and who they want to spend the rest of their life with. Even if the bible states: marriage is a union between a man and woman; I believe everyone should have the right to choose who they want to be with. I support choices. Today I am sad that choice was taken away from the hope of having a "sacred marriage" between two people who love each other very much.

I wish everyone just minded their own business and said: "I married who I chose to marry and I will let everyone do the same."

I hope that those who are already married in Cali are allowed to remain married and have their family as my family has been. They didn't object to my marriage, who are we to object to theirs. Sigh.

I hope my children recognize everyone has a right to love who they want to love and they don't discriminate against others whose choice may be different then the "norm."

Life updates

2008-11-04T11:56:00.003-05:00

So i failed my 1 hour glucose test. Got to do another 3 hour test. Fun days I tell ya.

Mom got her heat turned back on for the stellar price tag of $497.54. for a $197.54 bill. They made her put down $300 security deposit. Give me a break. The economy is terrible. If she was having a hard time paying $200 bill what the heck made them think it would be an easy task to come up with a security deposit.

Tuesday my mom's friend's car got repoed and she is using my moms car. My other sitter, her car got a hood through the front end. Friday, my car was hit in front of my moms house (mom is using the car) by a school bus. Can I cry UNCLE!! yet?

The girls did come for Halloween. We had a great time. I took the girls out and let Bubba go with his friends from school. We went by my father's parents house. The girls got so much lute it wasn't funny. In fact, each girl got more than Bubba did. We walked about 1 1/2 miles all together. I think i need to go see my grand parents more often.

We still have not heard back from the court what they will do about child support. I cannot keep worrying about it.

Hope every one's week is going well. I think I am coming down with something. My friend from high school has some major issues going on. Usually I go out on Halloween with her and her boys. She was in the hospital and I didn't want to be around her drunk husband so I went to my grandparents house. Turns out, her husband was too drunk to take her boys trick or treating. I feel like I let them down. sigh.

How do you get rid of a psycho girl who will not leave your son alone? She is driving me batty!!

GO VOTE TODAY!

just friggin great

2008-10-29T14:34:00.001-05:00

moms gas (ie: heat) was shut off today. I don't even want to know what next.

Coming in threes!

2008-10-29T08:33:00.003-05:00

My Friday sitter called to tell me her car was in the shop. A hood flew off another car and damaged her front end. GREAT! My Monday thru Thursday sitter called to tell me her car got repoed over a $2000 bill she didn't know she had. I told her she could borrow my car that was parked by Superdaddy. Actually, my mom let her use her car and my mom took my car. Only problem...my car was smashed while parked on the street. Wasn't smashed yesterday morning but was smashed yesterday at 8:00 pm. Oye Ve' Things came in threes. Now it is time they leave.

Stars aligning

2008-10-22T11:10:00.002-05:00

Things are happening in my life right now. Some major things. Some not so major. Just the beginning of the month I was stressed to the max. Things were not moving in the right direction. Though things still are not where I want them to be, they are going there slowly.

My dryer died. As in 3 towels and 1 pair of pants in 4 hours were still not dried. My washer will only hold a half a load to wash. Spending $30 at the laundry matt on Saturday was not fun. Neither was the 3 hours with 3 little girls. One whom I noticed was scratching her head a lot. Not mine though yet. Have to be on the look out for head friends again Uggg. No more friends spending the night for a while I think.

Having to pay all the back child support in 30 days or less is hurting. It makes for small grocery shopping bills and only necessities. No more buying school lunches.

Spending a large amount of money on a present and the very next week getting a $591.84 shut off notice on my electric bill.

Our church had backpacks for our low income preschool program at the church. My girls asked to get one. We ended up with 2 one for each girl. Somehow, we managed to get them filled with the proper stuff under $20 each! The lady who does the baptismal banners at church informed the pastor she was unable to do them anymore. She nominated me to do them. I do not have a sewing machine and have used my mother's for the things I have made. Looks like the church will let me use one of their sewing machines.

We got a letter from school last week. Someone put our family's name in to get winter coats and boots for the kids in the schools. Bubba, Miss J and Chicky will have new coats and boots.

Perhaps the stars are aligning for us for a little while. Things are looking up in His time frame not mine.

Recap!

2008-10-13T19:44:00.002-05:00

Bubba completed his eagle scout project. Now has to deliver and fill out rest of paperwork and get it signed off. Very quiet weekend. No step kids. Imagine that. She will not let the courts dictate when he can see the kids. She will let him see her kids when she feels like letting him see the kids. Her birthday is Thursday. My guess is she will drop them off Friday so she can go to the bar for the weekend to spend her hard earned child support money.

I think this will be a fine weekend to make ourselves unavailable seeing how every other weekend from last weekend forward will make him free for opening gun season for hunting.

Dear ex-father in law passed away Monday. Not that i am part of the family or anything anymore, but my ex's best friend called me to let me know on Friday so I could take the kids and go pay our respects. DA's sister spent exactly 2 hours with Miss J out of the days she was here. Arriving Friday evening...staying until Monday morning. Lots of quality time. Would think the only thing she had left of her brother would mean more to her than 2 hours. O'well her loss.

Hope every ones weekend was a good one. Had to train the new girl at work this week. She will replace me when I take my baby leave. Too bad my job includes use of a computer and well, she doesn't have one yet or a phone. What is a secretary to do? Put the new girl to work cleaning out the supply closet I tell ya. Fun Fun!

ugg

2008-10-08T11:06:00.002-05:00

PIA: Im almost there to a better life thank god...

This was posted as her header on her myspace. Glad she is almost to a better life. Wish she would leave my life alone.

Tangent

2008-10-07T08:34:00.002-05:00

After doing some online research, it appears her child support will more than double since he is working a better job and she is not working at all. There is some retarted formula that they use and it goes something like this....

it takes said amount of money to raise a child and if parent A (custody parent) makes said amount of money, and parent B (Superdaddy) makes said amount of money, take this equation:

Raising money = (Parent B - Parent A) take difference subtract 77.9% (which is allowed because we have other children).

I don't get it, however the schedule they have on line shows (custody parent income) across the top and (non-custody parent income) along the side. Basically you find the income for each and equal it out (like multiplication table) and her child support will go from more than $600 a month to closer to $1250 a month because when the first order was made she was working and now she isn't.

I mean give me a break. It took 2 of them to make a baby, shouldn't it take 2 of them to financially support them children? Why shouldn't he have gotten a better job to better himself?

This economy sticks everywhere. They are punishing the parents who are trying to live above poverty level. What is wrong with this picture? She chooses to live the way she lives. She is fully capable of working and just doesn't. Her "job" is a Stay at home mother. They don't get paid much and quite frankly, I find it hard to believe love alone can make a house payment and pay the bills.

Ta Da...Outcome

2008-10-06T12:51:00.004-05:00

Ya know, the beginning of the year, Superdaddy was 3900.00 in arrearages give or take some. Currently, he is 738.78 in arrearages. You do the math. She dragged him back to court. We don't have money coming out our noses or the other end if you know what i mean. Never mind she has not let the children come over since Labor day and that was only one child that came. She showed up in court today with her older two children. Shows class huh? She thinks her arrearages will be able to get them into a "purchasing a home" house. What the hell happened to the $3200 from previous payments?

Whatever. We have to come up with October payment and an additional $500 within 30 days or he goes to jail. Never mind it cost him half a paycheck to go to court today That right there could have been her $500.

Sonofa! I wouldnt be so darn bitter about it if she actually put forth an effort to raise them children. She has no job. Welfare and childsupport raise them children. I work so she can sit on her behind and take Superdaddy to court.

PIA

2008-10-01T12:58:00.003-05:00

She is dragging him back to court. YEAH! Just more missed time from work. Just how in the hell do they think he can pay child support if he isn't at work? He will have to miss a half a week of work for one losey day of court.

Baby Thumper

2008-10-01T08:10:00.003-05:00

We had our followup ultrasound yesterday. Thumper is a girl. There was no little turtle that we could see. Chicky will have to get used to a baby girl. She had her heart set on a little boy. Her and I both. After our first sonogram, i kind of warmed myself up to the idea of a girl. I had really no choice did I? It took a few weeks. Yesterday when she said well for sure I do not see a turtle I didn't cry like i did the first time.

Her baby finally came home Saturday and he is so cute. Tiny little pumpkin of their family. All of our prayers and good thoughts for their family sure had a positive outcome (thank God).

I wish fall weather would come and stay. Last weekend the kids were wearing shorts, today it is 45 degrees sheesh.

Remember beginning of September I told you about child services coming to the house? She has not called or let the kids come by since then. Not even looking for money. I think she might have gotten herself in trouble inadvertently by calling trying to get us in trouble. Hope she bit off more than her mouth could chew.

Anyways, does anyone know how to get rid of a creek in the muscle under a shoulder blade? Mine is killing me for almost a week now. HELP!

Life updates

2008-09-25T09:47:00.004-05:00

Life has been status quo for the most part. School is back into full swing with Chicky starting on Monday. Have been trying to gather our "baby" things to go through it and see what we still need. Somehow I am unable to locate our infant car seat. I wonder what the heck I did with it. Things with the baby are coming along. I wished I looked more pregnant than fat. 3 people have commented that i don't look pregnant yet. I guess that is a good thing but still. We go for the repeat ultrasound on Tuesday. I am very excited to see Thumper again.

Since the whole child services thing, PIA has not let the kids come over. In fact she has not called Superdad at all. I wonder if they gave her a time to get her living conditions straightened up. Well beds for the kids anyways. Just an odd observation.

Hope everyone else is having a good day and good week. Have a blast this weekend.

Yesterday

2008-09-18T13:17:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a very tough day for me. Yesterday was 7 years since my father passed away. I didn't feel too much like talking.

Today the detective called regarding Bubba. The victim's family never brought her back in for re interviewing by the prosecutor. The prosecutor gave them plenty of time. Prosecutor got fed up with jerking around with them and DISMISSED the case!! DENIED THE WARRANT!

Thank you all for your good thought and good vibes. They were appreciated more than you could ever imagine.

Wanna hit the bar? I sure do to celebrate but Thumper protests :)

Post Secret

2008-09-16T08:32:00.004-05:00

So I posted my number on Post Secret yesterday. I had some strangers share their secrets with me. I will share with you anonymously of course. It felt so good to let some of my secrets out believe it or not.

I love him with all of my heart but I worry about being married but still feeling like a single mom

When I signed the email "your weekend girlfriend" I said I was kidding but that's what I think I am.

I pretend to be scared that he's in the USAF but really I wish he'd marry me and move me far away.

I regret ever becoming a mother. I have 3 children and am expecting another soon.

I had an affair with a 30 year old married man when I was 16

I always wonder what the child inside of me felt when it died. It is 5 years later and I wonder what he/she would look like. I tell my mom I don't want kids. The reality is I don't want to loose one again.

He’s using her the same way he used me. I wish I had the courage to tell her what's going on and that he used the same lines on both of us plus others.

I feel greedy for having another child when there are so many others out in the world who want to have a child and cannot.

I have never had an orgasm.

I had an abortion at 16 and now can't look at my 7 yr old daughter without knowing she should have a 9 yr old sibling.

My husband scheduled an interview on the day we are supposed to have our ultrasound/sonogram appt. I am devistated. I secretly hope he does not get the job and he regrets missing our appt.

If I could I would move far away and never talk to my family again and I would make sure they could never find me.

I cheated on my husband. I'm scared to tell him because I don't regret it.

I still dream about my first love even though i'm happily married for 7 years and haven't seen him in 8 years. Than I feel guilty after each dream.

I once had an affair with a girl. I still think of her daily. My husband does not know this. He has my reality, she has my fantasy.

I don't want any more children but have seriously considered having another so I could see my OB more often! She rocks

Sometimes I think things will never get better for me.

She told me she was addicted to me, that she wants to be married. She made herself so vulnerable and as much as I want to protect her, shes going to get hurt.

These were the ones I received so far. Some are pretty deep revelations. Feel free to go to Frank's blog (Post Secret) and see some of the secrets that are revealed there. You will not be disappointed.
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=40031276&blogID=432528289

If you care to share a secret feel free to message me and I can provide my cell number. Your secret is safe with me.

Explanation

2008-09-11T07:58:00.001-05:00

I will never say that the ex wife and I were friends or will be friends. I never did a darn thing to her. I have even given her food out of my home when she needed it. Above child support, we buy things for the girls when they need it. All she sees is that he left her and ended up with me. She claims she came first in his life and she should always come first 1998 or there abouts. Problem is this, I came into his life in 9th grade somewhere around 1990. I had a baby with him summer/fall of 1990. Problem with said baby was this...he was almost 18 I was only 16. My parents chose what happened to that baby. If it weren't for parent's interference, we probably would have been together longer. Our future was already written long before we even born.

From day one, she threatened me and tried to poison her girls against me. As her girls have gotten older, they; the older one especially; have seen through her smoke signal. She tries to tell them things that are not true and expect them to believe her instead of what they see with their own eyes.

She has always had a nicer house than I have. Not a problem by me. She has a nice newer car; I have a junker. Her kids go to a better school than mine. What is the problem here? I should have envy over her. I am content with my life. I am happy most of the time.

Misery loves company and I choose not to let her make me miserable. Just last month one of the girls was crying after hubs and I had words. She was crying because she was going to miss me. I was confused. Her mother told her that I was a home wrecker and if dad and I fought enough, we would split up and they could be together again. Somehow she has put it in the kids head that if we split up, hubs will have the house and her and the kids can stay there.

Children should not be used as pawns against one parent or the other. They should be loved and nurtured. They are not game pieces to be toyed with. She has had the children ask me about child support; tried to have friend of the court garnish my wages. Give me a break.

I love my children and my step children with my whole heart and would give my life for them. She loves her children in a different way. One that I am not a fan of. She loves them as long as there is something in it for her. She told the 9 year old that she would let her come live with us except dad wouldn't pay child support and she needs the child support for bills. What does a 9 year old need to know about child support? Precisely.

I guess to sum it up, I am living the type of life she dreams of living. The difference is this...I can support myself. I work and she doesn't. She gets to watch her children every single waking minute of every single day. I don't. I guess in a sense, she lives the life I wish I could live with my children, but then again I would be envious of others who had more in life too. The difference, I would not try to poison my children with lies and hatred in the process.

I am not angry at her per se' I am angry at her behavior. I mean someone who will be 40 next month needs to grow up and get a life!

Jealousy is ugly.

Many thanks

2008-09-09T10:46:00.002-05:00

Prayers or good vibes did the trick. The kids get to stay. HAHA! The wench PIA called child (CPS) services on us and opened a case against us. They left a calling card on Wednesday. Unfortunately my coworker had Thursday, Friday and Monday off due to her kid having surgery. They came out this am. Investigated and left. They were going to talk to the children. Who knows if and when we will hear back from him.

I absolutely hate her more. They didn't tell us who called exactly, but things they said and accused were only her or her mother. Miss G dropped a brick on her toe on September 1. The guy asked about it. They asked about no food in the house, dirty living conditions, dirty clothes, baths. All were of course invalid. Hopefully they will go check her home out.

NEWSFLASH! The girls still have no beds at her house! What comes around goes around. Wonder if she shot herself in the foot by calling on our home. Now her home will be investigated as well (or so he told us).

I would never wish CPS on anyone. I haven't slept in 3 days. Dear Lord, I need a vacation!

Uggg

2008-09-04T10:33:00.001-05:00

Just cannot catch a break. This sucks monkey ass. Stop and say a prayer for us. Will talk later.

Summer is over :(

2008-09-03T13:04:00.003-05:00

Sure was nice to get out of the city for the holiday weekend. Next time, remind me to leave mother at home. She is going to cause me to have a stroke. I actually told her I was gonna leave her on I-75 if she didn't quit yelling at me about other drivers.

Today has been relatively quiet except for the ever so persistent mother hanging up the phone on me. My stress levels are through the roof. I actually think my blood pressure is up.

We told Miss G about the baby. She was so excited, telling everyone who would listen. Miss M didn't come camping. Apparently she was promised other things. Perhaps the second pair of gym shoes is what she was promised. Miss M got 2 brand spanking new pair of gym shoes. Miss G has Zero. Her PIA mother didn't think to get her a pair I guess.

Superdad confronted PIA about her moving yet again after we got home from camp. She tried to block my car in so Superdaddy couldn't leave. She was screaming and yelling to the point that Miss G didn't want to go anywhere with her mom. She wanting nothing to do with her and proceeded to tell Superdad that mom was acting a fool because she heard we were having another baby. Miss G got hysterical when he made her go with PIA after they went shopping to get gym shoes.

Than she demanded to know where Miss G's gym shoes were. She only asked for backpacks. The girls were scared to death they wouldn't have pencils for school. We provided them as well; and a few shirts. The wonderful mother they have been born to was less than appreciative of the book bags and such. She wanted shoes. Why did she get one 2 pairs and the other none?

How can parent's treat their children so different when they born them all? How can you possibly treat one like shit and one like a prince/princess? The reason the girls have both said is simply this: WELL MISS G LOOKS JUST LIKE DAD AND MISS M LOOKS JUST LIKE MOM. Tell me now, didn't she love Superdaddy at one time? What is wrong with her one child looking like him? Jealousy is UGLY!

Hellofa Weekend

2008-08-26T08:18:00.002-05:00

Where to begin...

Saturday we had a birthday party to go to for my aunt's father. Superdaddy found a truck to look at on line so we drove an hour away to look at said truck. The truck was perfect. We bought it, was 2 miles from the guys home and the damn thing broke down. Had to get the guy and return it to him. Poor guy has a broken down truck now. Was late to the party but things were ok.

Had to go to graduation party immediately after. Was sort of fun. Didn't hardly know anyone and to be quite frank, I was tired. We didn't stay long.

Bubba asked if he could stay the night at aunt's house. They said it was ok. We let him stay. Got a call around 2:30 am. Had to go pick him up. Why? Him and another child decided to go get a Slurpee and got stopped by police. Busted curfew and got themselves a big ass $125 ticket. My aunt and uncle were pissed. The child is lucky he is alive today. Trust me on that one.

Sunday the kids went to church with my mom and I was gonna stay home and get some much needed sleep. Didn't happen. We went to get Superdaddy's glasses fixed...my car broke down. Much to be said, should have went to church.

Yesterday was ready to go back to work. End of day bout 4:00 my mom calls me to tell me my cousin's kid beaned Chicky in head with wooden baseball bat on accident. She had a golf ball size lump on her forehead. Irony...they were playing golf with tennis ball and baseball bat. Cousin's kid told my mom she walked into the bat. Yeah.

This weekend we are heading to the sticks for some much needed R&R. Hopefully the girls will come early so we can get a jump start on the drive.

My friend Sarah had a terrible weekend and my heart breaks for her. She lost her baby to a miscarriage. She is heart broken.

Camie, I am planning on looking through my baby stuff to see what I need to get. I appreciate your offer and maybe taking you up on it. I will let you know.

Hope everyone has a fabulous week and weekend.

Happenings

2008-08-20T08:03:00.003-05:00

Ever told yourself no matter what you will be ok? Ever find out after, things are not really ok?

I never thought so much would bridge on one stupid sonogram. I almost wish I didn't ask. Things are going well with the pregnancy. Almost text book well. We went for the sonogram on Monday. Well we didn't; I did and my mom, grandma, Miss J and Chicky went. I asked about gender. They did the scan and determined I had to come back again after at least 3 weeks.

We have a healthy baby. It appears to have no external plumbing. I told myself either way as long as it was healthy. I am disappointed with myself and feeling kind of guilty. I am disappointed that our last baby will not be a junior. Shouldn't I be happy God has allowed me to be part of this miracle baby's life? Shouldn't I be happy I am able to have a baby who is healthy?

There are so many out there who cannot have babies and want them desperately. So many who would cut off their own leg or arm for a baby. So many who have angel babies who would give anything to have a baby on earth with them.

I have let the excitement of not knowing fade. I am disappointed in myself. Today I woke up excited for the first time since Monday. I am having a baby Girl. She is called Thumper still until further notice. I think today I am going to announce it to my co-workers. Next time the girls come over we are going to sell them.

Vaccines suck. Chicky had to have her shots updated. She had problems in 8/2005 with getting 2 of the almost same shots on the same day. She has had joint pains, headaches, bone pain and jumping legs since. In order for her to go to school I had to get her shots. I tried to waive them but our state health department does not think I have a valid reason to waive her shots. She had 3 shots last month with out any problem. No fever, nothing. She got the one she got 2 of yesterday as well as 2 others. One she never had, the other she got at the same time. Guess what?? High fever, headache, jumping legs. Last night got maybe 2 hours sleep. I hate vaccine's.

Life

2008-08-12T10:37:00.005-05:00

We had a great time camping. The girls were awesome. Bubba well he was himself. Didn't see much of him actually. The balloons were a no show so that was a wee bit disappointing. It pored Saturday on us. Sunday was time to leave to go to a family reunion. While in the process of dismantling camp, a tent blew away. Guess who went chasing it and ended up "slip n slimming"? You guessed it was me. Fell square on my rear end in a big puddle of slimy mud. My only pair of pants and sweatshirt was full of mud. All in all, I knew I was doomed to fall so I made sure the fall happened on my extra cushion. We plan on telling the girls about Thumper Labor Day weekend that way PIA will still let them go camping.

Seems the girls have not been home in a while. I guess her mother is sick so they are staying there. The vacation that she supposedly took the girls on was a lie. They never went to the bridge for a week, nor did they go to Frankenmuth with papa on Superdaddy's birthday. They went to a carnival. Papa was driving, mom in front seat, and Nana, Sister A, Miss G, and Miss M were smashed in Nana's back seat. There was not enough belts for them to be buckled, so they didn't. Where are the cops when you need them. She still won't put Miss M in a booster seat as required by law.

Her baby seems to be holding his own today. He is one strong little guy that is for sure.

My fear

2008-08-08T12:40:00.002-05:00

This about sums it up. Superdaddy got a GoldWing motor cycle. He is going for his road test this weekend if it doesn't rain. This scares me very much because in our area, people drive very aggressively. Bless all the bikers out there.

JUST A BIKER
I saw you; hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line.
But you didn't see me put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday.
I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk.
But you didn't see me playing Santa at the local Mall.
I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant when you saw my bike parked out front.
But you didn't see me attending a meeting to Raise more money for the hurricane relief.
I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I rode by.
But you didn't see me riding behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window. I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children.
But you didn't see me, when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless.
I saw you stare at my long hair.
But you didn't see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love.
I saw you roll your eyes at our Leather jackets and gloves.
But you didn't see me and my brothers donate our old ones to those that had none.
I saw you look in fright at my tattoos.
But you didn't see me cry as my children where born or have their name written over and in my heart.
I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere.
But you didn't see me going home to be with my family.
I saw you, complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be.
But you didn't see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.
I saw you yelling at your kids in the car.
But you didn't see me pat my child's hands knowing she was safe behind me.
I saw you reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road.
But you didn't see me squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn.
I saw you race down the road in the rain.
But you didn't see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.
I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time.
But you didn't see me trying to turn right.
I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in.
But you didn't see me leave the road.
I saw you, waiting impatiently for my friends to pass.
But you didn't see me. I wasn't there.
I saw you go home to your family.
But you didn't see me. Because I died that day you cut me off.

I was just a biker. A person with friends and a family. But you didn't see me.
I hope you never lose someone that rides.
EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE US, RESPECT OUR RIGHTS TO RIDE WHAT WE CHOOSE AND TAKE A FEW EXTRA SECONDS TO BE SURE WE ARE NOT IN 'YOUR' WAY

Ramblings

2008-08-05T15:00:00.004-05:00

Her baby is pretty sick again. She is not coping very well and to be honest my heart is breaking. I wish there was something I could do to help her out. Please send her your warm thoughts as she and her family struggle with their boy being so far away and being so sick.

Yesterday was my 16 week dr. appointment. Things are going swimmingly. I seem to have gained 5.6 lbs in 4 weeks after loosing 2 lbs the 4 weeks prior to that. Total of 4.6 lbs I guess. I have my ultrasound on August 18. Hoping to find external plumbing on Thumper of course. If there is no plumbing we will be overjoyed as well. They had a real difficult time finding Thumper's heartbeat. They looked for almost 3 minutes and just when I was starting to panic, they found it.

We still have not heard from the detective about Bubba. Tomorrow is 4 weeks since he took the poly test. I wonder if we have to keep waiting. I am too scared to call the detective and inquire though. All i know is that i feel terrible Bubba is still grounded and has been since June 10. His whole summer is basically history. I have been looking into doing school of choice for him next year. The problem I am having is transportation to get him there.

I don't think I ever shared a picture of my new ride. Though it is used (and abused) it is still new to me.

insurance hell

2008-07-31T09:24:00.002-05:00

Superdad has an appointment Saturday. They just called me to tell me he won't have health insurance after midnight tonight. I called our insurance carrier. Indeed everyone except Miss G and Miss M will have their insurance terminated at midnight tonight. Including myself! I am beyond distraught. Does this mean I am going to be out of a job? Who really knows at this point. Martha (boss) sent a crazy email to me Tuesday indicating my flex time is no longer acceptable. For the last 6 years has been arrive between 8-9am and leave after 8 hours. Apparently she got a bug up her butt and informed me I need a solid start time. Fine by me. And now today I called and found out my insurance is up at midnight. After a call into our HR department I will find out what is going on. According to them we do have coverage.

All in a days work

2008-07-30T07:37:00.003-05:00

So I cannot find the cable for the camera. I will have to look in the van when I get home to show you my new toy. Superdad's truck broke down at about 3pm yesterday. Something with the tensioner pulley and belt. Somehow they managed to track down the part and get it fixed. After "dispatch" agreed to pay for the repair for the owner operator (OO), the repair shop ordered the part, expressed it to them (sent a driver) from 2.5 hours away. The truck should have taken 6 hours from start to finish. It was finally done around midnight. "Dispatch" told Superdaddy better hope you can sleep in the truck we are not authorizing payment for repairs. When the truck is in the repair bay, no customers allowed. In other wards, he was hosed. He called OO at 1am and went off. Needless to say, he finally got to sleep 26 hours later in the truck. Somehow OO got dispatch to agree to pay for part of it and he used his credit card or something to pay for the rest. If Superdaddy was a company driver, he would still be without a truck until maintenance came in at 7:00 am.

It appears for the next two weeks, he will only get half a check. Ya can't tell me it takes 5 days to go from Port Huron Michigan to Kansas City only once. That happened 2 weeks in a row. Well he was supposed to deliver on Saturday AM according to his little GPS computer thingie. He got there Saturday AM only to find out PH was not working. He delivered instead on Monday leaving him last week with only one trip. Now with the truck breaking down, he will only get the one trip unless they find something else to go out for him.

Back from the Sticks

2008-07-28T13:15:00.004-05:00

Our weekend was pretty much a bust. Very quiet, but very much spent in a hot van. Saturday we picked Bubba up from scout camp and headed up north almost to the bridge. Superdaddy was very thoughtful and picked me up a very cool birthday present. Too bad it is of no use to me this year as I cannot ride it until after Thumper is born. He got me a quad. Needs new plastics desperately, but heck I am spoiled it has no clutch and an electric start!! Leaving the house to go to scout camp is like an hour and 15 minutes away. Then heading up I-75 for another 275 miles. Then turning around and heading back down 75 for 50 miles than across the state for another 2 hours and then back down state another 90 minutes. Just in time for dinner, campfire and bed. After breakfast, Superdaddy took the quad for a spin. Runs nice. He even let me spin it around the acres for exactly 2 minutes or so (one time around the track) and then booted me off so we could take the kiddo's to the beach before heading home the 4 hours it takes us. All in all not a total bust, but it sure did suck to have to drive and keep driving.

To get home and see a jack stand perforate my driveway was so not cool. Mom's car broke down last week. It was at a store parking lot for 4 days or so and we were panicking about police towing it so my cousin came down to work on it. Only he had the "roadside assistance" tow it to my home instead. Somehow in the process, the passenger tire was removed from vehicle and placed in my back seat. The jack stand the car was on went through the parking lot at the store. I have a black top driveway and aforementioned family member had his head up his ya know what and left the damn car on the jack stand in my driveway. Said car and jack stand perforated my driveway and almost slammed the car down on the rotor. So not cool.

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. I have a pic of my new ride on mom's camera. Will try to remember it tomorrow.

Happy Birthday Superdaddy!

2008-07-25T09:20:00.002-05:00

Today Superdaddy is an old man!

Today he was supposed to come home at the kids bedtime. Last night he got stuck without a trailer. Today he will not be coming home. To say I am beyond bummed is an understatement. Though he will be home Saturday early afternoon it is not the same. We will be packing tonight to get ready to go up north for the night. He decided I needed a 4 wheeler for my birthday and he found one for an awesome price so he has to go pick it up about an hour from our trailer up north. Too bad I won't be able to ride it for a little while. Hopefully I will have a few pictures to share when we get back.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Life Saver!

2008-07-22T11:12:00.001-05:00

Peroxide, baking soda, dawn dish soap.

Now my dog does not smell. If only I could get the smell off of my porch and my car keys. Ugg

Darn stinkers! HELP

2008-07-21T08:50:00.003-05:00

Our dog Killer played with a baby skunk last night. I was up all night trying to "de-skunk" our home. Any suggestions? We washed the dog with dish soap and it helped by 1/2. What can I use on her to make it all go away? I have killed 2 bottles of odor neutralizer in the house. We have an enclosed porch that we left the dog on for about 30 minutes while I figured out what to was he with. Superdad left for work this am and I am so not looking forward to going home with my super sensitive smell detector and smelling the dog or house for that matter.

Quiet weekend?

2008-07-18T09:35:00.002-05:00

For someone who doesn't have any money and is always on the rampage about money and back support, someone is going on vacation during Superdaddy's weekend. Un-freaking believable. Lets hope when they do come back over, they don't have head pets again. Supposedly, they got the cooties from my children. The girls however, told a story of how their big brother and sister had it and Miss S as well. Well we haven't seen Miss S since March and before that was almost 2 years.

Superdaddy will hopefully be home this weekend and we can get stuff done. His work truck needs to go to the shop again for the air again. Hopefully they will fix it so his poor hot sweaty self will chill out. His dispatch is messing around with his load ending times this week. They have been set pretty much to the same schedule all along and this week he might run out of drive time to make it back home due to them switching it after he is rolling.

Ex-wife for sale!!! Any takers? C'mon ya know you want one. Help a friend out!

Cooties!

2008-07-17T15:46:00.003-05:00

Seems our home has come down with the cooties. The step kids had head lice, the girls have skirted by that one pfewww.

Bubba has sneezing and headaches.

Superdaddy has yucky belly requiring pepto or the likes of. That really sucks for him on the road.

Chicky had 3 shots yesterday and has a slight fever today; in this hot weather sucks.

I have a huge sinus issue going on. Have used almost a whole box of tissue today alone.

Miss J is the only one who has nothing buy needle phobia going on. She had to get 2 vaccines yesterday and was hysterical when the nurse came in with Chicky's stuff. When her nurse came in the little brat hid in the curtain hanging from the ceiling and told the nurse her name was Emily. Give me a break. She was kicking and screaming hysterically. Chicky was telling her it doesn't hurt and she didn't even cry. Bless her heart; she doesn't know she needs 3 more shots next month.

Have to stop on my way home from VBS and pick up some Lysol or something.

My friend who had her baby too early seems to be doing well. Wee Fox seems to be holding his own. Thank you for sending them positive vibes. Lets hope the little guy continues on the upward slope he is on.

Anniversary

2008-07-16T16:18:00.001-05:00

Happy Anniversary Superdaddy. Here is to many more yet to come.

Thank God

2008-07-16T09:38:00.002-05:00

All of them made it out alive. Praise God. Little guy will be fighting pretty hard for a little while, but he is here and alive.

VERY BAD

2008-07-15T12:53:00.007-05:00

SHIT!!!

Things have apparently gone south for her. It looks like she is delivering very early. I am so scared for her and her family. Please pray for her little guy and his parents.

Goings on

2008-07-15T08:54:00.002-05:00

I cannot believe my friends little brother graduated high school. We went to his graduation party this weekend. Seems like just yesterday T and D and I were packing up his diaper bag and going to the park. Makes me feel old.

Next week, Bubba will be at scout camp for the week. We plan on going to see him on family night but will have to see.

Superdaddy still has not heard about the job in the sticks. He is less than thrilled about his current situation. In our neck of the woods, the weather has been sort of rainy but hot and humid. His truck has been in to get the air fixed 9 times in the last year. Guess what? OO Took it to a different shop and they fixed it. Only it blows out warm air now instead of no air at all. He has complained about it so much I think OO is tired of hearing about it.

Anyone know of a remedy for TMJ? My jaw is still locked up. It has been locked for almost 9 months or so only unlocking on occasion. It really sucks that I cannot eat a darn peach or apple unless I cut it up. Oh yeah and forget corn on the cob.

RIP Mr. G

2008-07-10T11:09:00.004-05:00

Last night, before I left work, we got update on our transplant advocate and patient Mr. G. Mr. G was not doing well at all. Last night, my heart was very heavy as I put the children to bed. I prayed to God and to my dad to find Mr. G's beloved wife and for them to grab Mr. G by the hand and show him the way to eternal life.

Today when I came to work, I learned Mr. G passed away last night. His liver out lasted his body.

Mr. G; you left some pretty large shoes to fill here on earth. You took life by the horns after your surgery and by golly you ran with it. You had been pretty sick here the last few years; a few times we thought you were not going to make it home and you proved us wrong and went home to your beautiful daughter. We joked you were like a cat with 9 lives. Please know, you are one of a kind. You will be missed by many who never met you and many who love you.

God speed to your family and everyone who mourns for your earthly departure. Rejoice for you Heavenly arrival.

Thank you dad and Mrs. G for showing Mr. G the way home.

HE PASSED!!!

2008-07-09T15:15:00.003-05:00

HE PASSED!!!

Not that I doubted much, but you know how teenagers are. I did doubt though. Shame on me. Step one is down. Now that the test is done, it cannot be used against him in court. The lying detective told us (him, attny, and myself) that the prosecutor would like the final report from the poly people before she decides if she will charge him or not. The final report comes in about 3 to 4 weeks according to the administrator of the test.

I got official word from my OB that i passed the 3 hr gtt as she put it "with flying colors". Something about needing to fail 2 of 4 components and I passed all 4. Will have to do another 1 hour gtt at 28 weeks or so to see if my body develops it later. I just need to remember not to eat before that test (especially a cookie and 20 oz soda pop on the way there).

Holiday weekend

2008-07-07T14:11:00.003-05:00

This holiday weekend was wonderful. Much needed nature time. We saw the most amazing sight. Last time we were there, we seen 2 shooting stars way up in the sky. This time, I seen 1 shooting star way up there and one really close. Like too close for comfort close. It even lasted a long time. There was 6 of us by the fire and we all see it. I swear it was a metiore or something entering the earth. AWESOME!!

The stress leading up to the holiday was killing me. Superdaddy went to the interview. He is waiting for a call back I guess. PIA sent the kids over with head pets so on Sunday night when they were noticed, I was dealing with the lice issue while Superdaddy and Bubba were on the way up north. I did the treatment before they went home yesterday so I can only hope PIA does another treatment next Sunday and gets rid of the "head pets" for good.

Today was the first time I heard the baby heartbeat. It never feels like the other kids did. I cannot wait to get my sugar test results back. I am hoping they come out favorable. Will share pictures tomorrow.

The Sticks

2008-07-02T08:26:00.002-05:00

This week has been great having all girls at the house. Sorry Superdaddy and Bubba but it has. We have been getting stuff ready to go to the sticks this weekend. Need to get the heck out of the city. Things have still been status quo on the legal issues. Looks like Wednesday is the day.

Superdaddy has an interview today. Not quite sure exactly how I am feeling about it though. It is up in the sticks. If he gets the job, what does that mean for our family? Well seeing how the sticks are about 4 hours away, he probably will stay up there and try to come home on the weekends. We are finally comfortable financially and how can we afford to run two homes and still have funds to do other things? I guess we will have to wait and see.

Hope everyone has a safe July 4th. Try to stay out of the wicked weather if it is in your area. Be safe; Be blessed.

Status Quoe

2008-06-27T14:40:00.003-05:00

Things have settled down for now. Apparently, the police examiner had a "prior commitment" get in the way for the polygraph with Bubba. They called the lawyer to reschedule after the holiday. Though I am happy we can enjoy the holiday; I am pissed that it gets to "hang over" our head a little longer. I wish they would do the test and decide what they were going to do and do it already.

Superdaddy got a call about a job up in the sticks. As he put it, what is the difference being over the road or going local 4 hours from home? We probably will be moving up there within a year. Sure isn't on a mountain in Kentucky as I had wanted, but it is out of the city.

Part of me wants out of the city to never look back, but part of me knows I will miss it. The girls will be the ones to suffer in the short term and benefit in the long run. The ex is gonna blow a gasket when she finds out the plan.

Thanks for the note Amy. It means a lot to me.

Hope everyone has a blessed weekend.

Happy Birthday Miss M!

2008-06-25T12:55:00.004-05:00

Today is Miss M and my birthday. Today she turns 7. I won't tell you how old I am turning though. Superdaddy was able to call her this am and tell her happy birthday, PIA did not answer my call. I am sure it erks the hell out her that we share birthday's. Where has the time gone. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was changing your diapers. You are turning out to be a nice young lady. Before much longer, you will be able to ride the go-cart all by yourself.

Happy birthday Miss M!

Ugg

2008-06-24T15:22:00.002-05:00

So I just found out the polygraph test for Bubba is going to be Monday. Don't know what time yet just Monday. Mom bought me Chinese food for lunch and I just ate my fortune cookie. Want to know what my fortune was?

HOPE FOR THE BEST, BUT PREPARE FOR THE WORST.

Messed up thing...2 cookies, same fortune on both.

What does that say about Monday? I cannot take much more. I think I am gonna vomit.

Aggravation

2008-06-24T09:22:00.003-05:00

Myspace status stalking has proven yet again she is a dil.

PIA is looking for houses this week

Do you know how annoyed I am by the whole "MOVING YET AGAIN" I am?? The girls deserve so much better. We cannot get custody because Superdaddy is on the road and I would be raising them. Our state will not remove from "natural parent" and place in care of step parent unless it is a case of abuse. Plus the bull shit with bubba we cannot afford a second attorney to fight it. Hell in almost 6 years, we have lived in 2 places; she has lived in 5 places and is looking to move again. We are actually looking to move about 3 hours north. I wonder how that will go over if it comes to it. Our school system sucks. We need to go somewhere. Not sure moving to "the sticks" is the answer, but as far away from my in laws as we can move the better.

Give me a break PLEASE!

2008-06-23T11:07:00.002-05:00

Things have not let up.

Bubba is away at camp for this week.

Superdaddy called me and talked to me this weekend just not so much when he came home Sunday.

Miss J is feeling better from her surgery however the next few days is when the scabs come off and it gets worse. Pathology came back abnormal for her.

My brother in AZ called me to find out if I had heard from brother in our state. He apparently is homeless.

My mom may be having serious health issues something from the past may have come back like 5 years ago or so without a fucking doctor telling her. Something very bad. She is going for additional tests coming up. I am the only person to know besides her; and well now you guys.

PIA put on her myspace "is looking at houses this weekend!" What does that mean? The whore is looking to move yet again. Yet the girls have lived in the house they have now since right around xmas time and guess what?? THEY STILL HAVE NO BEDS TO SLEEP IN!!

They say God will not give you more than you can handle, but I think I am seriously at my breaking point. I cannot handle much more.

Not good

2008-06-20T08:58:00.002-05:00

Superdaddy hasn't spoken to me in almost 2 days. This weekend is camping with the boy scouts so I will not see him all weekend. I think between Bubba's legal trouble and the pregnancy things are not looking to get better any time soon.

I am sick and tired of being so damn stressed out.

At work, I work for 4 surgeons. There is 3 other ladies that insist I am their secretary as well. They keep on dumping shit in my email for me to do for them and then running to my boss when I don't drop my surgeon's shit to do theirs. One even made a comment "Here is more stuff I need to dump on you YIPPEE!!" Yeah anyways. Just had to vent before my body self destructs from depression and stress.

Life

2008-06-19T11:30:00.002-05:00

Blight court is a ticket for a messy yard. We do not have a garage hence no storage place. We have bicycles and ATV's in our yard. And apparently it is against city ordinance to have your trash can next to your house it needs to go behind your home. My house has no back yard. It is all front yard.

My dog bit some guy last week. We just went through the 10 day quarantine. She (the boy's mother) didn't think we had the dog licensed or whatever and made a police report. The dog catcher came by; looked at the dog; said everything was ok because she was licensed. Then the cops sent us the ticket for "dog at large' which by the way is a misdemeanor and mandatory court appearance. The dog is registered to Superdaddy. He cannot afford to take time off of work because it would not be just a one day deal, it would turn out to be a 3 day deal with his load running the way it does.

The lawyer thing is bad. Really bad. My son is being accused of something really bad. We need to figure out how to pay for a lawyer for him. He is being accused of a life felony charge. VERY BAD!!! Oh yeah and the detective lied to us. Nice huh.

Just great

2008-06-17T18:05:00.004-05:00

Miss J had surgery today. She had her tonsils out. Today was a day spent taking care of her. If she does not keep drinking fluids, I may have to borrow some one's duct tape and make her. Just kidding.

The stupid OB nurse called me apparently, my 1 hour GTT was a little high. She needs me to do a 3 hour test. Great. I am only 9 weeks and normally they don't do the test til 24 weeks or so. What does this mean? Beats me!

In other news, looks like bubba needs an attorney. GREAT!! just great.

Looks like it is going to be a long summer.

Oh yeah, we still have to hear back about the blight ticket ($250) if they are going to drop it or not and the dog bite ticket is $125. Looks like I better try planting that damn money tree again. Sheesh.

Better day

2008-06-13T11:20:00.002-05:00

We are supposed to go to see the school buses race in the figure 8 this Saturday. Hopefully PIA will allow the girls to come seeing how it is father's day and all. The storms in the mid west are heart breaking. They certainly need a break. After hearing about all the deaths and tragedy, I feel guilt for wallowing in my problems and realizing how blessed I really am. We have a 2 income home and healthy children. We are able to afford to feed and clothe them. We are able to afford to do a few extras as well and I am sitting on the "pity potty" about the legal problem with Bubba. Wondering what the hell I am going to do with him. He really is a great child. Little mouthy at times (most of the time). He does what he is asked to do after reminding him more than 10 times to do it. Gets good grades at school; only got suspended 2 times this year; now this. Poor choice of actions, poor judgement, valuable lesson none the less.

With all of the stress, it was amazing that I did not smoke at all. Baby probably saved me from my crazed addiction. My kidney's did not fair as well as my lungs though. I drank a 2ltr of Mtdew and paid for it now boy.

Dr. appt sucked butt yesterday. They did a pregnancy test, asked a boat load of questions, and stuck me for 12 tubes of blood. Oh yeah I had to do the 1 hour GTT at 8 weeks 3 days pregnant. Figure that one out. Probably because I am overweight. No worries, things have so far checked out. HIV negative, STD negative, GTT negative, IRON low, Pregnancy test POSITIVE (good thing or I would have been mad drinking that sugar shit).

Happy Father's day to everyone. Give your dad's a hug. Dad I miss you more today than I did yesterday. Love you!

Life

2008-06-12T11:03:00.002-05:00

Things in my life have not gotten better, nor gotten any worse. They have kind of plateaued. I have turned my spirits over to the man upstairs. I have cried so hard the last few days, I think I very well may be starting to dehydrate. Honestly, if I didn't know I was pregnant, I would have went and spent $5 on a pack of cigarettes. I swear I could taste them it was so bad.

Because of recent events, our family is in for some pretty life changing events coming up here in the future. Not just the baby, but our family as a whole with schools, and location and such. Will have to share details when they are a little more firmed up.

I have to go to the doctors today for my first visit and with all the stress, I am afraid what my blood pressure will be.

I think there is something in the air because my coworker is a wreck. I don't know the details, nor would I share specifics, but it is bad. Very bad.

To those friends online that are in hard hit weather areas, I pray everyone in your family is safe.